The Chronicles of Blackwind
by Shiguya Retomasi
Summary: Fate is not always kind. Sometimes she stacks the cards against us, making life nearly unlivable. Yet, even in the worst times, love can bloom. For one unlucky Umbreon, the journey to find his true calling has just begun. Rated for violence and language
1. A light in the darkness: Fate's path

Disclaimer: all characters, places, and recognized names are copy write their respective owners. Anything else is mine, so please don't be a thief; Shadowbane doesn't appreciate it.

words are telepathic speech

_Italicized_ words are thoughts

**A light in the darkness**

The fires burned low, casting an eerie glow through the clearing; the flickering light illuminating a scene of chaos. A lone Flareon was fighting for his life against a pair of Mightyena; his bright red fur streaked with mud and clotted blood. His attackers were equally injured; both of them bearing fresh burns and bites, yet the two black dogs were faring much better than the Flareon. They were used to the pain, being the elite hunters of their pack, and you don't get there without a more than a few scars.

The three were locked in a deadly ballet of attack and counterattack; each determined to win. The Flareon, growing desperate for escape coughed out a thick cloud of smoke; blanketing the area in a choking haze. He then ran toward the largest of the fires, his breathing becoming labored from the exertion.

He was a few feet away from the burning brush when a large shadow ball struck him dead in the back, fracturing his shoulder blades, and sending him tumbling to the blackened ground with a sickening crunch. The Flareon skidded across the ground, dirt and ash grinding into his wounds.

He whimpered pitifully as the pain coursed through his body, leaving him immobile. He closed his eyes and waited for the cold embrace of death to take hold, hoping only that it would be quick. He could hear heavy footsteps approaching where he had fallen; they weren't bothering with stealth this time, as their prey wasn't going anywhere.

The Flareon shuddered when he felt the hot breath of his attackers along his neck; he feared what they might do to him before killing him much more than dying. Rumors of Pokèmon, both male and female being raped horribly before being torn apart were rampant in the forest, and his attackers looked the type to do it.

"You were hard to find," the first Mightyena growled darkly, ignoring the heat. "But we did. Reaper will be very pleased…"

o0o0o0o0o0o0


	2. Meeting the charge

Morning came around, all too soon. A_nd I had been having such a nice dream. _But, when your wake up call is a sharp blow to the head, you don't wait around for a second warning. So, with a sigh I stood up, shaking myself to get the bark out of my fur.

_I hate my life. Every day is the same; avoid everyone else in the pack and hope that the Alpha doesn't have another job for me to do. Every time I see him, he reminds me that he owns me; just as a human thinks they own a Pokèmon._

_The only difference is, he really does own me: he did me a favor, and I've been stuck in this living nightmare of a pack ever since. No matter how many escapees or outsiders I terrify, he still says that he owns me, saying that he put a lot of time into hunting down that bastard Static, and it would take a bit longer until I fully paid him back. That was at least three years ago, and he still keeps me here._

_I really shouldn't complain; I do have it much better than many of the others. Unless you're bloodthirsty enough to be one of the hunters, or simply one of the Alphas favorites, you have no power at all. It's even worse for the females: they are nothing more than slaves. They're treated horribly by everyone, and are often are brutally raped at the amusement of many of the males. _

_The rule in the pack is that you can do anything you want to them, short of causing permanent injuries or killing them; and they cannot fight back without severe punishment. I'm one of the few that doesn't partake in that activity simply because… because I don't want to hurt any of them. I sometimes talk with them, but not for too long, because it might attract attention._

After stretching, I wandered off in search of something to eat. I could go scavenge something from the public stash, but, after seeing someone I knew in there, I try to avoid it as much as possible. Instead, I wandered off toward one of the less traveled parts of the packs territory, in search of some small game.

The clean mountain air was blessedly free of any scents I knew, meaning that I could spend some time alone for once. I walked low to the ground, trying not to scare any potential prey off; though, it probably didn't matter. Any Pokèmon not part of the pack was cruelly hunted down, and slaughtered; which included anything small enough to eat. So, after a half hour of nothing I settled for a few Oran berries, before finding somewhere quiet to hide out.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

Guess I should really introduce myself: I'm Blackwind, a male Umbreon around seven years old or so, I lost count a while ago. I've been living under the domination of a sadistic Alpha for at least three years, maybe longer.

He keeps me around as an interrogator of deserters and outsiders; simply put, I scare anyone he doesn't like to tears, before one of his other cronies kills them as an example to the others. It's definitely not what I would prefer to do with my life, but as I said before: my Alpha owns me. I would try to run away, but I've seen what they do to anyone foolish enough to try that. They usually become a meal for the hunters: a live meal, and those Mightyena are bloodthirsty.

There is another thing that the Alpha has over me… it's harder to explain, but I'll try anyway. All my life, I've been attracted to males; I know that it's wrong, but I still am. And, he knows that; he tricked me into accidentally revealing my darkest secret, and he holds it over me any time I refuse to do more of his dirty work.

Today was no different; no sooner had I settled myself down in a nice patch of sunlight, than one of the Alphas' elites showed up. She could be considered beautiful by normal male standards. Her creamy white fur was fastidiously groomed: every hair caught the light in just the right way, giving her a natural glow. Her brilliant blue eyes were just as stunning. _No doubt she has broken many hearts… or torn them out. Behind those feminine charms, lies a ruthless, calculating killer. _

_Ping is her name… at least I think it's her; I still have a hard time telling her apart from her twin sister. Either way, they were two of a kind: beautiful, charming, and nearly as evil as the Alpha _

_himself. Rumor was that the two of them are over eight hundred years old, though that is difficult to confirm. _

"Boss wants to see you." She said in a harsh voice. Ping and Pong saved their charms for those they would work on. They tried it once, but soon figured out that it doesn't work with me. _I want to tell her to take a hike, but if the Alpha wants to see you, you have to go._

"Did he say what it was about?" I asked her, getting up slowly. _If only I had gone somewhere different, maybe I could have avoided doing this for a few more minutes._

"No, but he was quite urgent; you probably pissed him off good with your last fuck up." She said, laughing under her breath.

"Maybe this time, my sister and I will get a good taste of you." I ignored her sinister grin; she knew exactly what Alpha wanted, and was trying to make me squirm by not telling me.

_Too bad for her that I don't care. It was always the same with him: terrify some poor victim until they urinated on themselves, and then have to watch as one of the hunters had his way with them_.

I sighed to myself. _To think, this is my life: stuck in this waking nightmare, every day forced to do the bidding of a sadistic Alpha, simply because he helped me once._ _Many times I've considered suicide, but what would that prove; that I'm scared of this life, and I have to cut it short? Some may see it as a way out, but I see it as a cowardly act committed by someone who cannot face this world. 'A permanent solution to a temporary problem' my mother used to say; 'only fools and cowards choose that path.' Oh well, might as well see what Alpha wants this time._

I followed Ping, or was it Pong? Didn't bother asking, at a distance. I wasn't feeling up to her usual taunts and subtle hints at things she thought would piss me off. It was the same with both of them; try to get under my skin so I would attack them, giving them an excuse to kill me.

_Ever since Alpha started using me as his entertainment, those two have been trying to get rid of me; just because Alpha uses me more than he does them. It's not like I want the attention, they can have it for all I care. All I want is out of this place, to leave and continue trying to find a cure for whatever attracts me to other males. _

The warm morning sunlight filtered down through the pine trees, pooling in patches along the worn path we were traveling. I really wanted to lie back down and rest for a while longer, but a nasty glare from my guide forced me onward. A slight breeze carried a strong smell of burned fur and flesh through the air: judging by how thick it was, I guessed that Alpha was pissed off, and took it out on some unlucky passerby.

I shuddered involuntarily, hoping that it wasn't going to be me next. _I've only seen Alpha really angry once, and it still haunts me to this day… normally. if you make him angry he will only humiliate you, but whoever it was that had messed up must have done a spectacular job of it._

_No one in the pack ever saw a corpse, but the screams echoed through the area for weeks. Somehow, I got a bit of sleep during that time, but even now, when I close my eyes too close to that clearing, I can hear that voice, begging for mercy, followed by a cruel laugh, and a fresh set of screams. As far as I know, no one goes near that place: supposedly that victim's spirit still haunts it, claiming the lives of anyone foolish enough to approach. _

My guide smacked me in the head with a tail, snapping me out of my thoughts. I glared at her for a second before fixing my gaze upon the ground again; making sure not to show any annoyance. _I'm not going to give her the satisfaction; once I find out what Alpha wants, I'm going to take care of it and go back to resting. At least I can escape this place in sleep._ _Though it's hollow in the end: just a taste of the freedom I yearn for, a glimpse of the light before darkness once again claims my soul._

_Oh, how I miss being able to do whatever fancies me; not having to worry about staying in the shadows, especially during the mating season. But, that is simply a pipe dream; my life is bound to _

_my Alpha, no matter how much I hate it. If only I could have a few days to myself; to get away from this, if but for a bit… but, who am I kidding? I'll probably die here, bound into servitude for the remainder of my days, never to choose my own fate again. I never should have come to him for help, but I had no where else to turn._

The trail wound through the outskirts of the packs territory; more than once I shifted off the path to avoid some of the less friendly members. _Since I like to spend time with the females, without doing anything sexual, a few very… worrisome questions have been asked. But, so far I've kept my dark secret hidden. _

I could smell fresh blood in the air, no doubt the hunters had returned with whatever unfortunate Pokèmon they chased down; depending on who caught it, they may have been alive when the feeding frenzy began. Further along, I saw scraps of flesh and trails of blood scattered across the soft earth; confirming that the meal had been a live one. I shuddered again, knowing that today, that prey might be me.

We walked on further, moving deeper into the heart of the packs territory. As we pressed on, the air began to chill; even though it was a warm spring morning. Normally, this would be surprising; but we were approaching the Alpha's den, and his mere presence gave off a cold aura. I shuddered again_; every time I approached this place, I knew it would be bad. I can't place a paw on it, but something about Alpha is… evil. And, not the normal evil associated with dark types; no, this is much more… ancient, and sinister._

Today was different though, Alpha was waiting outside his den; his body hidden in the shadow of a large boulder. I couldn't see his face, but I could feel his gaze burning into me; coldly studying me. I kept my gaze forward, trying to ignore the chill running down my spine.

"You're late." I heard an icy voice say. I knew it was Alpha; only his voice could make my fur stand on end. Every word he spoke sent another chill through the air, and even though he wasn't addressing me, I could feel my blood freeze. It seemed to have lesser of an effect on my escort; no doubt the two of them were quite used to him. "I called for him ten minutes ago."

"I'm sorry, but he was… uncooperative at first; it took me a few minutes to wake him up." My escort said, not taking her eyes from where Alpha was.

"No matter, you may go."

"Yes sir." I could have sworn there was a note of disappointment in her voice; guess she wanted to be here when Alpha revealed the reason he called me here. _All the better though, I don't want either of them having something new to torment me about; it's not like they don't have enough to work with yet. _

I stood there, letting my mind race through the possible outcomes this could have; Alpha could have another terrorizing job for me. Though, I can't figure how that could be urgent. _It could be as my guide had hinted at; I had indeed fucked up my last job, my target nearly escaped. _

"Ah, you're wondering if I intend to kill you." It wasn't a question.

"Yes sir, I am." I replied. _How had he known what I was thinking?_

"Don't worry, I would never let you off that easy; you still have some use to me." Alpha said, chuckling darkly under his breath.

"No my dear Blackwind, ones with skills such as yours are difficult to come by and such talent must not be thrown away trivially. Though on this occasion, I do not have need of your normal skills."

"You don't?" I asked. This caught me off guard, if he didn't call me here to punish me or to assign me a new job, then what could he want with me? _Certainly nothing sexual, he was brutally straight; he even had his own personal Ninetails as a sex slave_.

I quickly banished these thoughts so as not to get myself into further trouble. "If I may be so bold, why did you call me here?"

"All in due time; but for now, I have someone for you to meet. A recent… acquisition of mine; I want you to watch over him and make sure that nothing bad happens." As he said this, Alpha moved out of the shadows slowly, his body seemingly separating from the darkness.

I backed up a few steps. I had never seen Alpha, only heard his cold instructions from the shadows. Hearing his voice was one thing, but seeing the being behind the cold words was nothing short of terrifying. His silver horns glinted in the morning light, accenting the coal black and fiery orange fur of his body. The next thing I noticed were his eyes: dark green spheres devoid of emotion, seemingly staring right through me.

I looked away quickly, not wanting to lose my composure. His very existence seemed to darken the sky, as if an ancient evil was standing before me; trapped within a mortal form.

"Be careful around him, he is a danger to himself, and all those around him; though I trust you can keep him in line."

"Yes sir." I said flatly. _Why he chose me for babysitting duty for a dangerous new toy of his baffled me. I have no experience with controlling anything dangerous, but it was an order and I have to obey._

"Is he here?"

"No, you will find him in a small den near the south edge of my territory. Be careful when approaching, he may attack without warning." Alpha said, turning his gaze to the south.

"Make sure to announce yourself before entering, I wouldn't want anything… bad to happen." The tone of his voice carried no sympathy; merely a tone of amusement.

"You may go."

I turned and left without another word, thankful to have a reason to leave his presence. Once I was far enough away, I shook my body vigorously, trying to settle my nerves. I could still feel his presence, even thinking about those cold eyes sent shivers through my body.

At least the air was free of any harsh smells; just pine and the faint scent of early wildflowers carried along a faint breeze. I breathed in deeply, the fragrant flowers helped to calm my frazzled nerves. I knew that there were pheromones in the air, the other males were getting restless; the poor females were trying to make themselves scarce, but it was no use.

More than once, I was nearly knocked over by a frantic female being chased by a few hormone pumped males; tearing into each other in a mating frenzy. And to think, a fluke of birth prevented me from being affected as they are; it was rare times like this that I was grateful for my illness. _Unlike those beasts, I didn't lose control of myself during this season, one of the only upsides to being gay._

I walked alone, letting my mind wander off. _What would this mystery monster look like?_

My mind conjured up images of horrible Pokèmon: monstrous things from the depths of a kits nightmare walking the earth, desiring nothing more than to kill and destroy. It soon turned to an innocent looking creature: something like a Rattata or Pidgey corrupted by Alpha's dark powers, and turned into a killing machine.

I stopped for a minute, shaking my head violently; even thinking about Alpha using his powers on a living creature and not killing it was something too horrible to be imagined. This brought me back to reality; I had been walking without looking and had nearly stepped out of the packs territory; a crime punishable by death.

The borders were hard to read unless you knew what to look for: a stain of blood on a rock, or a scrap of fur hanging in a low branch were common markings. Alpha always said that scent marks were too useless, you had to strike fear into those who would dare enter or exit.

I looked longingly across the invisible barrier that kept me trapped; yearning to feel the dry needles against my pads on the other side, but, it was not to be. I was a prisoner, a permanent resident of this pack. Turning away slowly, I walked back toward the packs territory; looking once over my shoulder at freedom, before making my way toward a small den burrowed out under a large tree stump.

I approached carefully, shouting out to whomever or whatever occupied the small den. The entrance was roughly four foot wide, large enough to admit something roughly my size. A strong scent of Eon came from within.

"Hello?" I called to whatever was within. When no one answered I tried again. "Hello, is anyone in there? I'm Blackwind, I was sent here to watch over you."

"You were?" A timid voice answered. _Odd, I was expecting a gruff reply or even a threat; but not that._

"Yes, Alpha sent me. May I come in?"

"Are-are you going to hurt me?" The voice asked; its voice filled with fear. _Hurt it? Wasn't he supposed to be vicious? _

"No, I'm here to watch over you." I shouted, lowering myself down to peer inside.

The morning light barely penetrated the darkness of the den; all I could make out was a pair of blue eyes staring at me, a look of fear and confusion filled those bright blue orbs. Something about them made me want to rush forward and try to comfort whatever lie within that den, but I held back. _What if it was a trick, a ruse to lure me in and kill me?_

"Could you come out where I can get a better look at you?"

"I'm not s'pose to go outside alone." The creature replied. I almost laughed, Alpha's big bad new toy talked much like a child would.

"Don't worry, I won't tell. Come on out, it's a nice morning and you shouldn't be cooped up."

"Okay…" He replied timidly. I backed up so that whatever was inside could get out. The first thing that appeared was a was a wedge shaped head; the pale red fur of his face set the backdrop for a deep crimson tuft of fur growing from his forehead.

Even though the coloration was off, I recognized him as a Flareon; mainly because one of my female friends had been one. He looked around nervously, as if expecting someone to rush and attack him for leaving his den. I crouched down, trying to make myself smaller so as to not scare him back inside.

"Come on, I don't bite." Even as I said that, it felt stupid. _Thankfully Ping and Pong aren't around to see me talking like this; I would never hear the end of it. But no matter, right now I simply want to see my charge in the light_.

He slowly crawled out, stopping for a second to shake a bit of dirt off. His large, barrel chest heaved slowly, muscular frame rippling under his sleek fur coat. The morning light shone off his dark mane and accented his features; _he's perfect._

I stared at him in awe. _How someone this big and powerful could be afraid of someone as insignificant as me was hard to imagine. Even his blue eyes were perfect: the same color as the summer sky. I felt my heart skip a beat, just being near him made my fur tingle… but why? I know that my illness causes me to look toward males for sexual gratification, but I've never felt like this about any male before…?_

"Is it safe?" He asked, crouching down and looking around nervously. His words snapped me out of my daydreaming, so I answered softly.

"Of course it is what could happen out here?" I asked, trying not to laugh. It was funny, he was bigger than me and yet he was probably scared of his own shadow.

"That-that big, scary dog could be back." He replied, looking back toward his den. "He makes me feel all… bad inside." _Big, scary dog? Could he mean Alpha?_

"Don't worry; I'm sure he's not around. Now, what's your name?"

"My mama named me Charis." He replied, brightening slightly. So far so good I guess.

"Charis huh, that's a nice name." _His name was Charis, what a beautiful name for someone so… gah! Why am I feeling like this!?_

"So, what brings you to the Black fangs?"

"I don't know, that scary dog kept telling me that my mama's dead and that it's my fault." Charis said, nearly beginning to cry. I could feel my heart telling me to comfort him, but I didn't; it could still be a trick.

"I'm sorry, but Alpha he… can be harsh. I'm sure that your mama's just fine." I said, hoping to calm him down. Even as I spoke these words, they felt so wrong; _how could I lie like that to him?_

"Really?" Charis asked, staring at me with a look of child-like innocence. I could barely return the look, my heart burned in my chest from his gaze. _Oh, how I wanted nothing more than to tell him how I felt, to feel his warm body against mine, to have my… God, I need to get a hold of myself._

"Really." I replied. The word tasted bitter in my mouth; I somehow suspected that his 'mama' was just another of Alpha's mind games. _But, why does Charis continue to act so young? Maybe he's still trying to lure me in. _

"If you want, maybe later we can go looking for her."

"But I'm s'pose to stay here." Charis said nervously, looking back toward his den.

"I was sent here to watch over you, and if you were to… wander off I would have no choice but to follow you." _I hope that little mind game works…_

"But, the scary dog said that if I wandered off, he would hurt me." Charis said, backing up toward his den again. _This isn't working…_

"Then may I stay here with you?" I asked, standing up slowly. It was now or never, if he went back into his den I may never get him out again.

"But… I'm s'pose to stay away from the others." Charis said in a faltering voice. _This isn't going well, so I have to try something else._

"Please? If I don't, that scary dog might do something bad to me for failing him." _Hopefully this works, though I still feel bad for lying to him. But, I'd rather hurt his feelings, than give Alpha a reason to hurt me in other ways._

"Okay… but, you promise not to tell?" _Who would I tell?_

"Of course, it'll be our little secret." That was at least true. He smiled faintly and scooted back into his den. I took a quick look around to make sure no one was watching before I lowered myself down and followed.

The inside was much roomier than it appeared on the outside; it was easily big enough for two or more, which struck me as odd. _Why would Alpha set up his new toy in a den this large? Maybe he intended me to move in with him; but why? No matter, for now I just had to worry about being suddenly attacked; though I really doubt that Charis would, he didn't seem capable of it. _

I stood up slowly, making sure not to hit the ceiling accidentally. Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I looked around slowly; taking in the scene. Charis had curled himself up in a corner, eyeing me nervously. There were a few scattered bones lying around, no doubt from his last meal. I noted, with a bit of relief that they were small, probably Rattata or something else around that size.

The den itself smelled musty, and not in the good way; by how stale the air was, I guessed that it hadn't been used for some time. _How could he want to stay in here, it was much nicer outside._

I walked over to where he way lying down slowly, stopping when he started trying to move away from me.

"What's wrong, I said I don't bite."

"But… I'm s'pose to stay-" Charis began to say.

"-Away from others I know. I just want to get a better look at you, that's all." _I hope he didn't freak out; there's no way for me to escape in such close quarters, but somehow… I don't care._

He calmed down again at this, maybe the thought of being near someone had gotten through to him, or maybe he wanted me closer for a better attack position. Either way, I continued walking toward him, lowering myself down and sniffing his ear in a friendly gesture. He trembled a bit at this, probably expecting me to bite him or something.

I moved a bit closer, running my nose down his cheek slowly. His fur smelled of dried blood, so he obviously hadn't come here willingly. There was something else, but I couldn't identify it; it smelled… bad, and not in the foul sense… more of a lingering evil. _But, why would he smell like that… unless… Alpha did something to him._

His entire body was trembling like a leaf, I guessed that me being so close was scaring him, so I did the first thing that came to mind; I licked him on the cheek once. _Oh how wonderful that simple gesture felt… oh how I wanted him for myself… but why?_

"See, told you I don't bite." I said softly.

"May I lie down?" Charis simply nodded slowly, _I guess the thought of someone being nice to him was just sinking in._

I settled myself down next to him, barely letting my body press against his, as to not scare him. _It feels strange having to move, and speak so slowly to an adult; then again, I suspect that Charis isn't a normal adult._

I let a bit more of my weight press against him easing myself against him slowly. His body was warm, I could feel the heat radiating off his fur; it felt a lot like when I lie in the morning sunlight. It felt… nice, and right._ Oh how I wanted to simply throw myself onto him, to express how I'm feeling to him, to… I have to stop; I want to cure myself, not lose all the progress I've made!_

"You seem lonely." Charis said suddenly, snapping my out of my fantasy.

"I am." I replied. How did he know, he wasn't a psychic and we've just met. He stared at me, and for the first time his eyes weren't full of fear; instead those blue orbs reflected concern. Somehow, looking into their depths made my problems seem… distant. "I've also lost someone… my mate."

"Mate?" Charis asked, tilting his head to the left slightly. _Didn't he understand what a mate is? Maybe I should try something simpler._

"A female I wanted to spend my life with."

"Was she pretty?" His innocence was almost too much. I was having trouble holding myself back…

"Actually, she looked quite a bit like you." I said softly, shuffling closer. For some reason, the air in this den smelled nicer; almost intoxicating. My heart was beating faster; just being close to him was heaven…

"But, I'm a boy." Charis said, though I could barely hear him. My heart was pounding in my ears, drowning out the rational part of my mind_. Just one kiss… couldn't hurt…_

I could hear a voice deep within me screaming that it may be a trick, but I didn't care… if he did kill me, I would die happy…

I lunged forward a few inches, locking my lips upon his; the sweet taste of his fur sent shivers down my spine. Oddly enough, he didn't fight me; he simply lay there, stunned. I let my tongue run across his teeth briefly before I came to my senses, pulling back with a sheepish look. _Now I had done it, my illness got the best of me and now I was going to suffer the consequences. _

"I-I'm sorry, I just… lost myself." I said, apologetically. _How could I be so stupid; I let my emotions get the best of me again, and this time… wait, why is he just staring at me?_

There wasn't a look or anger or revulsion in his eyes, only confusion. I looked away, _how could he understand what it was like to feel the way I do? _

When I turned back to tell him I was leaving, he lunged at me, returning the gesture. Maybe I was wrong, as I felt his tongue running along the inside of my mouth a surge of pleasure washed over me; _it was so wrong… and yet, so right at the same time._

That's when my mind shut off completely; I broke off the kiss and stood up slowly, moving over behind him. Very slowly, I mounted him; letting my body slide easily over his sleek fur. He started shifting under the sudden weight, but I began whispering in his ear softly; telling him that it would be all right…


	3. Pain and understanding

For the next week a pattern developed; show up in the morning, forcing myself upon Charis before we did whatever we wanted, then pleasure myself after an afternoon meal, mount him again before leaving.

Yep, that entire week was devoted to me making Charis my sex slave. After a few days, Charis became numbed to this routine; he didn't even resist any more. I would have taken notice if the rational part of my mind was in control, but as I stated before it was mating season and I think that my hormones had somehow taken over.

Once that week was over and my rational mind was in control again, it hit. I showed up in the morning as usual, but with a headache. The world was spinning slightly, kinda like the time I ate some really old berries.

Anyway, I crawled in just as I had done for the past week, _at least I think I did; my mind is really hazy right now._

When I entered, Charis did the strangest thing; he took one sad look at me before turning around and lying on his stomach, shifting his tail to the left. I didn't think much of it, my headache was beginning to worsen; _something about seeing him do that was jarring my memory, and it hurt._

So, rather than question it I walked past him and lay down on my side, trying not to think too hard. What had happened last week? It just got worse when Charis walked over toward me and began trying to burrow his way under me, nudging my hind legs with his head.

"Charis…stop it…stop it now…CHARIS! STOP IT, NOT RIGHT NOW!" I finally had to yell at him to knock it off; normally_ I should have been kinder about it, but right now my head fucking hurts and I don't feel like dealing with another of his games._

My annoyance turned to shock when his eyes started watering, before he ran to the far end of his den and collapsed; staring to wail. This sudden burst of emotion made me forget about my headache; _what had I done?_

It took a second for my mind to kick in again; Charis' sudden burst of emotion had taken me by surprise. Once I came to my senses I stood up and started walking toward him, moving slower when he tried to find an avenue of escape.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, moving slowly as to not make him try to run. The only answer I got was him looking at me with a look of pain in his blue eyes before he turned away and began into a fresh set of sobbing. _I must have done something to him during that blank spot in my memory, something bad._

I crouched down and rubbed my head against his chest, trying to calm him down. When this failed I pressed myself against him, hoping that the contact would help; and strangely enough it did.

"Come on, you can tell me." I said softly, resting my chin on his neck.

"You… you…" Was all he managed to choke out between sobs. This wasn't going well at all, so I needed another approach. Maybe… he wanted something from me and I didn't give it to him? The image of him when I first came in today gave me an idea; I climbed on top of him, letting my body weight press down on him.

Strangely enough, it worked; Charis stopped crying so hard, though he was still coughing and sniffling quite a bit. This gave me another idea; my mother used to lick me just below my ear any time I was feeling bad, maybe it would work on Charis? So, I leaned forward and ran my tongue across his fur just below his left ear a few times, continuing when I heard him almost start purring in appreciation.

"Please… you can tell me… what's wrong…" I said between licks. Charis sniffled once before answering in a shaky voice.

"You…you don't love me anymore." He said, nearly beginning to cry again.

"Shh, it's all right. Don't cry." I said soothingly. My words calmed him down, though he was still on the verge of losing it again. "Now, why would I stop loving you?"

"You… you didn't want to do that thing that you like to me and… you yelled at me." Charis blurted out. His body was trembling like a leaf in the wind. _What did he mean by 'thing that I like?' _

I thought as hard as my headache would allow, trying to clear the haze. _Something… I had done something to him…but what…? Something about how he acted when I entered today… did I…? OH GOD! It had finally happened; my hormones had gotten the best of me and I had become no better than those other males, worse even. At least their drive was normal; no, I had done the one thing I was trying to avoid for so long, I had forced myself upon another male._

My heart felt like something was trying to claw it out of my chest; the pain of doing something so…vile to the one I cared about burned at my insides. I had to make things right, even if it cost me everything.

I slid off of Charis slowly, moving at a sleepwalkers pace. Charis was watching me with interest, rubbing his eyes with a paw. I stared at him, wishing that I could go back and change what I had done; but that was impossible. All I had left now was to try and make things right with him; if that was even possible.

"Charis…"I began to say. The words hung up in my throat; but I had to say them.

"I can't remember what happened last week, but I know that I was not kind to you. I just want you to know that I love you not for what you will let me do but for who you are. I don't know if you can ever forgive me for what I have done, but I am prepared to accept whatever punishment you see fit." As I said this, I sprawled out on my back, exposing my entire underside to him in a show of submission. I also craned my neck backward, exposing my throat fully; giving Charis his choice of targets if he so chose to take my life. I closed my eyes, bracing myself whatever lies on the other side for a freak like me.

When nothing happened, I dared to open my eyes. Why hadn't he at least asserted his dominance over me? I turned my head to the right, wondering if Charis had wandered off or something. Imagine my surprise when I saw him lying on his back as well; mimicking what I was doing. It would have been funny if the situation wasn't so serious. _Is he mocking me, or did he think this was a game? At the moment I really don't care… I have to find a way to make this right._

I rolled back onto my stomach and spread my legs outward; pressing myself down onto the dirt. I then shifted my tail to the left, making the motions to Charis that I was willing to let him do whatever sexual things appealed to him. Again, he simply copied what I was doing; though, not very well. I sighed quietly, no matter what I tried, Charis simply imitated me. It was getting really frustrating, so I got back onto my feet and walked around the den a bit; ignoring the fact that Charis was shadowing me. I thought back to the years I spent hanging around that human psychology building; trying to find a cure for myself.

_They had studied other humans that acted much like Charis is now… what did they call it? Mental age regression; Something about that sounded familiar, but what? Damn this headache, barring the way to an answer._ I sat down, closing my eyes and concentrating hard; shutting out all other distractions.

I pictured the building: cold gray walls staring out at the flat landscape. _Those humans wearing white coats was it, moving in and out every so often. Sometimes they carried small objects that I can't identify, or were escorting another human wearing other colors, sometimes a small group talking quietly, sometimes just a solitary human walking from one building to another. _

_They never knew about me, hiding within the musty halls, scavenging what I could. It was hard living, but I was determined to find what I was after._ _But, enough of that, back to the matter at hand: remembering what I heard about mental age regression._

_Those humans were studying a particular case; something about a human male that thought he was only 15 in human years when he was physically 38. I remember it because it was kind of funny, seeing this grown human acting so young. They somehow cured him, but I didn't see that happen, I was too busy that day on another wild Farfetch'd chase. Maybe Charis is affected by the same thing, only regressed younger._

I was awoken from my thoughts by something nudging me in the chest. I opened my eyes slowly, still a bit dazed from delving that deep into my memories. The den came back into focus slowly, how long had I been in there? Once my vision focused, I looked around for what had bumped me; only to find Charis staring at me.

"Something… wrong?" I asked, yawning widely.

"Are you okay?" Charis replied, shifting slightly.

"Of course I am, just had to do a bit of thinking."

"Are you mad at me for bothering you?" He asked nervously, shifting again.

"Of course I'm not, why would I be?" Every reaction, every question led me to believe that I was on the right track.

"You…don't like it when I bother you too much." He replied, his blue eyes reflecting his fear.

"I… wasn't myself last week." I said truthfully "and I probably said and did some things I normally wouldn't have, and I'm sorry." I looked at the dirt, trying to find the proper words. Then, an idea came to me; a stupid one really, but it just might work. I looked back up with a big smile on my face, startling Charis.

"How about we take this week and do whatever you want to?" _Man, that sounded stupid, but it just might work._

Charis took on a serious look; as serious a look he could muster that is, while thinking hard. I wonder what he's thinking about, seeing as my offer has no real limits. He just sat there, muttering under his breath and shaking his head every so often. When he finally looked up again, he had a hopeful glint in his eyes; that was a good sign.

"Can we go outside and play?" I stared at him for a minute before responding. _Such a simple request, and yet it must mean the world to him to choose it over the sheer possibilities of my offer. _

"Of course we can." I said, standing up slowly.

"Yay!" Charis stood up and dashed over to the entrance, waiting patiently for me because he 'wasn't s'pose to go outside alone'. _He was too much; all he wanted out of life was to have fun. It must be so simple for him, not having to worry about appearances or what others thought about you._

I could feel a love for him growing, yet I knew that it would never work out; my desires were unnatural. But, those feelings were still there. The lingering question remained; why? _Why did I feel like this toward Charis? _

I kept mulling over this question as I made my way over to Charis.

"You ready to go?"

"Of course." He replied cheerfully. Oh how beautiful his voice was when it wasn't choked with sadness or fear. It sent a shiver down my spine, just like when I heard Blazewinds' voice. _And for the first time in my life, I didn't hate my illness; it almost seems like I was destined to meet Charis. But that's _

_foolish, why fate would have anything nice in store for me is a mystery; all it's done to me is send one bad thing after another my way. Oh well, might as well enjoy this while it lasts. _

I stuck my head out of the den, taking a moment to make sure that no one was around before crawling out.

"It's safe, you can come out." I shouted. Within seconds, Charis was out of the den and running around the small clearing. I watched him, still amazed that this is what he wanted to do. Oh well, if he is somehow age regressed then this would be a natural desire for him. _At least he isn't feeling bad anymore; maybe the fresh air and sunlight will do him some good._

I watched him for a while longer before chasing after him, knocking him down and wrestling him to the ground. He was much stronger than he acted; I found that out the hard way when he kicked me in the stomach. It felt like a charging Tauros had hit me. I was still gasping for air when he pinned me on my back, looking proud of himself. For a second I thought he was going to do something to me, seeing as I was at his mercy at the moment. Luckily, he noticed that I was having trouble breathing and let me up.

I rolled onto my stomach and went into a coughing fit; I really have to be more careful. If he had accidentally used his claws, I would have been in much worse shape.

Charis was nearby, watching me with a look of concern on his face. I smiled faintly and stood up slowly, showing him that he hadn't done any permanent damage. _I definitely need to teach Charis how to hold back on his strength; that hurt too much to repeat anytime soon._

He still looked concerned, not even meeting my gaze; so I walked over to him and rubbed my cheek against his, showing him that I didn't hold any hard feelings. That seemed to do the trick; good thing too, I didn't want to see Charis crying about something he did by accident.

"It's all right; you didn't hurt me that bad." I said just before knocking him onto his side and pouncing. We tumbled around for a bit until I finally pinned him on his stomach. I could hear something in the back of my mind telling me to make a move on him, but I ignored it. It was in that moment Charis shook me off and shot off like a rocket, running around the clearing again. I laughed quietly to myself, just seeing him run around gave me a warm glow on the inside. It felt good to see him happy.

We played for hours, not really caring about the time. It had been so long since I had done anything simply to do it. Normally about this time, I would have found myself a quiet spot to be alone. But, simply running around for no real good reason was quite relaxing, if not quite tiring. Wrestling against Charis also told me that I wasn't young anymore; how he had that much energy is beyond me. It was fun though, and that was something I hadn't experienced in a long time: doing something because I wanted to, not because someone else wanted me to.

When we were both getting pretty hungry, I wandered off toward the public stash for the first time in a long while; I didn't know if Charis could live off various berries and nuts like I do. He wanted to go with me but understood that he had to wait for me at his den; seeing as he wasn't allowed too far away from there. Secretly though, I worried about him being bullied by some of the other males.

As I walked, my thoughts kept turning back to last week; _what had I done to make Charis so nervous around me? I know that my hormones got the best of me, but the way he acted leads me to believe that I did something else to him._ Trying to come up with an answer helped pass the time, making the trip much shorter.

Even when I was still few yards away, I could already smell the area. A mix of blood from an unidentifiable number of species blended together into a horrible stench that burned my nose, and made my eyes start to water. _God, now I remember the other reason I stopped coming anywhere near this place. Oh well, I only need to be here long enough to grab Charis, and maybe myself something to eat._

I walked over toward the main stash, trying not to breathe deeply. If the smell wasn't bad enough, looking at the area was even worse: the ground was stained a deep crimson from years of blood being spilled here. A mass of whole and dismembered corpses was piled at least four feet high. _I never want Charis to be forced to see this_.

I shuddered and closed my eyes, it would only take a minute to pry enough loose for Charis, though I may have to eat something from here too… I sank my teeth into the first bit of loose meat I could find, tugging hard. What came free could have come from any one of a dozen species; problem was, it smelled like it had been here for a bit too long. I tossed that one aside and pulled at another limb sticking out of the mass. This time something a bit more appetizing came loose.

I repeated this process, rejecting anything that smelled too old until I had a nice variety assembled. For a second I felt as if I was becoming like the other pack members; not even caring who ended up here; and that thought scared the living daylights out of me. I shook my body vigorously; the flapping of my ears spooked a lone Pidgey out of a nearby tree.

"Come on, get a grip on yourself; just block everything else and focus on what matters." It had been a long time since I had tasted blood, and strangely, it still tasted good. Putting my memories aside, I pulled loose something for myself as well; the remains of a Vaporeon, probably from the White fin pack.

Then came the part I dreaded the most: sorting out what was edible in my book from the remains, and tossing back the rest. I just closed my eyes and went to work; trying to ignore the horrid sound of flesh being stripped from bone, though each small pop of a bone or ligament breaking caused me to wince inwardly.

Slowly but surely, I managed to strip off enough meat for the two of us; with enough variety that if Charis didn't care for one thing, there was enough of the others to fill in.

_Even to this day, I'm glad those humans at the Mental research building had accidentally thrown out that… what was it called? A TM? Anyway, that thing taught me how to focus my mental energy into a force strong enough to throw a full grown Snorlax a good twenty feet. It does have its more mundane uses; such as hauling a good thirty pounds or so or raw meat half a mile with little effort. _

It was so easy, that I had time to stop and scrounge for a small selection of berries for myself; I've grown quite fond of them and really don't see myself going back to a more carnivore based diet any time soon; at least now while I'm living here that is. _Good thing that all the Eon species are omnivorous, or I would be quite screwed. _

Anyway, after I don't know how long, the clearing appeared out of the dense wood; complete with Charis eagerly watching from the mouth of his den. I smiled and nodded, letting him know that it was okay for him to come out.

Typical to his hyperactive nature, Charis dashed out of the den, kicking up a small cloud of dust in the process before knocking me down and licking my face. Lucky for me I was expecting this and had previously set down the food I had brought, making sure to lay it down on some pine needles in order to keep it off the dirt. After struggling against him for a minute, I managed to get back onto my feet; only to be pushed over again.

"Charis please, I got us something to eat but I need to bring it over here." I figured that the idea of food would get through to him, and it did. He let me stand up, choosing to start running around in small circles and uttering a weird guttural noise. _Man, he's just full of surprises._

I heard my stomach growl quietly; reminding me that I had skipped eating this morning. He followed me up to the border of the clearing, where he simply sat down and watched me; ears drooling slightly. _Guess he was pretty hungry himself. No matter, I brought enough for the both of us._

With great care, I slowly picked up the veritable buffet of meats and berries, carrying them over my right shoulder blade much like a human waiter, was it… yeah. Like a human waiter would. I braced 

myself, expecting Charis to make a mad dash toward the smell of raw meat… imagine my surprise when I reentered the clearing, and Charis stayed put, still watching me intently.

"You hungry?" I said loudly, lowering our lunch to the ground. Charis nodded but stayed put. Curious. I know he must be starved; I can hear his stomach growling from where I was, and yet he wouldn't move. "What's wrong, not to your taste?"

"I'm s'pose to wait for someone else to bring stuff by." He replied, eyeing the meat hungrily.

"Who?"

"Those mean foxes." _Mean foxes? Oh, them._

"Don't worry; I'll let them know you already ate."

"But, what if they get mad?" _Great. I wasn't getting anywhere with him again. Come on, think; what would work on him this time._

"Do you like what they bring you?" Hell, it's worth a shot. Charis looked down, mumbling a quiet "no" under his breath. _He must be afraid that someone will overhear him._

"Then try what I brought, it's not super fresh but it should still taste pretty good."

"But, won't we get in trouble?"

"If we do, then I'll take full responsibility for it." _I hope this works. Knowing those two devils, they've been forcing him to eat whatever scraps they found that were on the brink of being inedible. No wonder Charis seems so hungry; I bet they were trying to starve him so he would attack me. Well, time to give Charis a real meal._

"Come on, try some; if you do I'll try some as well.

"Okay." He replied cheerfully. That was easier than I had expected; and if those two do try anything again, they'll have to go through me. He sniffed over the various things I had brought before looking up questioningly.

"What is it?" He asked innocently. To be truthful, even I didn't know off paw. Other than the Vaporeon meat I had brought for myself, I hadn't paid any attention to what I collected.

"Hmm, let me see…" I ran my nose just above each hunk, giving them a few test sniffs.

"That's Vaporeon," I said, pointing toward a section of tail. "Next is Mightyena, then Vulpix, followed by a bit of Rattata and finished up with some Absol." Once I had finished introducing the choices, Charis stared at me blankly; clearly lost. I sighed quietly… _man, this is tough._

"Is there anything in particular you like?"

"Not really." Charis replied quietly. He seemed really nervous about something, so I decided to find out what.

"Are you afraid of disappointing me?" I asked him, looking him directly in the face. He turned away, unable to meet my gaze. "It's all right; you don't have to like something just because I do." He turned back, looking sad.

"But… I don't wanna disappoint you."

"Charis, you would never disappoint me just because you don't like something. I brought a variety because I didn't know what you liked. You should do and think how you choose, not how you think someone else wants you to." These words came from the heart; _I told Blazewind the exact same thing _

_when she was well enough to travel. She was clinging to me because I had taken her in, but I wasn't sure it was what she wanted._

"Okay…" Charis replied slowly. I wondered if my words had even gotten through to him. Either they had or his hunger had overpowered his doubt because sniffed the meat I had brought, finally selecting the Vulpix. He worked his way through it, eating all of it.

"So, what do you think of it?"

"Much better than what the mean fox brought. Can I have some more?" Charis asked, looking at me innocently.

"Of course, you can have all that you want; just make sure not to overeat." I replied. _I'll never get used to treating an adult like a child. But, it's the least I can do for him, since I doubt he would last very long on his own. His behavior made me wonder, did he see me only as someone being nice to him or as a guardian?_ _It was really hard to tell; sometimes he acted like I was just a playmate. And other times, such as now he acted like I was a guardian_. _Man, just thinking about this is doing a number on me; I feel so torn between wanting Charis for myself and wanting him to be safe. _

I watched him eat for a bit before he looked up and stared at me questioningly. I almost had to laugh; a long bead of drool was trailing down the left side of his muzzle.

"You're not hungry?"

"Huh, oh I was going to wait for you to finish." I said truthfully. I wanted to make sure he had enough before I started in myself

"Oh…I'm done then…" he then stood up slowly, turning to head back into his den. I stopped him by placing a paw on his shoulder blade.

"You don't have to go just because I was waiting." _Charis had really fast mood swings… I really have to watch what I say and do around him; he might go into a really deep depression next time._

"Please stay with me, I don't like eating alone." I looked at him with the most innocent face I could muster. _I could see the hurt look in his blue eyes, maybe we shouldn't be around each other so much; I screwed him up worse than he was before, and then when I try to make it right, I screw that up as well. _

I couldn't stand it any longer, that hurt look was too much. I turned away slowly and went over to the Vaporeon tail I had brought, gripping it in my teeth and dragging it to the far side of the clearing._ Hopefully now, Charis can eat without worrying about me in any way._

_Normally, I would have enjoyed the oily flavor; but, today it tasted harsh, maybe because I wasn't feeling all that hungry. Oh well, I haven't eaten all day and I need to keep my strength up; never know when Alpha will have some new job for me. _

I tore into it slowly, giving my teeth enough time to saw through the tough muscle. I had forgotten how much work it was to get through tail meat, especially from an aquatic species. I planted both my forepaws onto the tail, pulling hard.

I could feel the fibers tearing away beneath my gums, yet the chunk refused to come loose. I pulled harder still, finally succeeding in getting it loose. _Now I remember the other reason I switched to berries; they're not as tough a chew._ I was working my way slowly through the tough piece, when I felt a presence near me. _If it's one of those Bitch twins, I'll…_

When I turned around, I found something completely unexpected. Charis had carried a hunk of meat I had brought him over to where I was.

"You said that you didn't wanna have to eat alone, and you still seem lonely." Charis said, sitting down and leaning against me. I felt on top of the world at that moment; _even though I knew Charis had no idea how much this simple gesture means to me, I'm glad he did it._

I leaned against him, enjoying the warmth of his body. I still felt really bad about making him think he could only eat a bit, but I'm really new to this. Maybe Charis will give me another chance to do things right; I have to get it right eventually.

I let my chin rest on his forehead gently, making sure that he didn't mind before relaxing my neck muscles. The cute little tuft of fur on his forehead was tickling my throat, but that didn't deter me.

My heart began to beat a little faster, just being this close to Charis made the day seem brighter. _Maybe I had this whole fate thing wrong. Sure, Charis would likely never understand how I feel about him, and even if he did his revulsion would probably drive him away. But for now, he needed me just as much as I needed him, and that was fine with me._

"Blackwind?" Charis' voice shook me out of my daydreaming.

"Yes?"

"Why did you make me feel all icky inside?" I stood up and walked a few steps before turning

around and meeting Charis face to face. I stared deep into his bright blue eyes before responding. _I don't know why, but those blue depths make it so much easier to talk about even my darkest feelings… it's like, I just know he'll listen, and not judge me. _

"I've fallen in love with you."

"But, I'm a boy." Charis said in shock. It hurt so badly to hear him react like that, but I had to tell him.

"I know that, but I have something wrong with me on the inside that tells me to look at boys the same way you might look at girls." I wanted to cry, _Charis could never understand how it feels to have these unnatural desires; to want him so badly and know that it never could be._

"The only work I know to express it is that I'm gay."

"Does it hurt?" His voice was full of sympathy for me. _He was a good kid. I just wish that my hormones hadn't taken over, maybe then he wouldn't be so hurt himself._

"Only my heart." I replied truthfully. My eyes started watering, blurring Charis into an orange and cream blob.

"I really want to be with you, but the few that are like me can't live in the open. I have to keep to the shadows, always alone." I finally lost it; I couldn't hold back my sorrow any longer. I could feel hot tears streaming down my muzzle, matting my fur and stinging at my eyes. _Now he knew the truth of what I was; a freak of nature. _

I collapsed onto my stomach, wanting to curl up and die; maybe then, I could escape the pain… I closed my eyes, ignoring the burning sensation from my salty tears. _I wonder if Charis is going to kill me, because of what I am. To be fair to him, that would be merciful; not only am I this way, but I forced myself upon him_.

Then, another thought came to me_; maybe he would come to his senses and drive me off, leaving me to the mercy of the pack. Once my secret gets out, it'll be open season on Umbreon. Every moment I spent there my heart hurt more, being so close to the one I love and yet so far was unbearable. I wanted nothing more than to run away from the pain and never stop; but that was impossible. I needed to pull myself together and face my fate head on. _

I was about to get up when a heavy weight landed on top of me. I opened my eyes slowly, blinking several times in an attempt to clear them. When my vision focused, I looked around trying to figure out what was going on. The first thing I noticed was that I couldn't see Charis, which was odd. Maybe he had gone back into his den. Then it finally occurred to me, Charis was on top of me, probably making sure I couldn't get away.

"Then I'll be gay with you, that way you don't have to be alone." Charis said happily. It took a second for his words to sink in. He wanted to be with me? Man that was completely unexpected. _But, I can't let Charis throw his life away like that, he has so much potential. Why would he want to lose that to be with me?_

"Charis, you don't even know what you're talking about."

"Yes I do. I like you, and you like me; what's wrong with that?" There was no use arguing with a child's logic. _Oh well, I might as well play along seeing as he's got me pinned pretty good._

"You win; you're gay." _That didn't come out right._

"Would you please let me up?"

"Okay." Man that hurt, probably because he jumped on me when I was lying down. Now the hard part, convincing Charis that trying to be gay was a bad idea without hurting his feelings. _I love him, but I love him enough to not want him to throw his life out simply because I'm lonely._

"Come on; let's head back to your den for a bit. I want to talk with you in private."

"Can I bring something to eat with me?" Why would he have to ask, it's his den.

"Go ahead." Charis smiled and ran off toward where he had dropped the hunk he was carrying, picking it up in his jaws and running over toward his den. I followed suit, bringing my tough meal with me. Charis entered first, ducking in quickly; I lingered at the entrance for a second, making sure that no one was watching before entering as well.

It was much cooler underground, even though the den was just a few inches below the surface. Even the faint smell of earth and tree roots was nice; it had a sort of calming effect on me. Charis was already lying down, chewing his way through more of his meal. _Which reminds me; I should bring the other stuff down here as well._

"I'll be right back, just need to bring the rest our lunch down." Charis didn't even hear me; he was too involved in his meal to notice. So with a shrug, I dropped the tail and went back to retrieve the other hunks I had brought, as well as grab the berries. When I returned, Charis had finished his bit and was looking hungrily at what I was carrying.

"Catch!" I shouted playfully, flinging a random hunk toward him. He dashed forward and caught it mid air, looking proud of himself. I laughed inwardly, the simplest things made him happy. With him busily working through the hunk I threw him, it gave me enough time to set the rest down somewhere.

My stomach growled in protest, so I simply dumped it all in a corner and went back to the Vaporeon tail I was working on. We ate in silence; both of us were too hungry for conversation right now. Somehow, eating with someone made my meal taste a bit better; too bad it couldn't do anything for how tough it was. _Man I had also forgotten now nice the feeling_ _of a full stomach feels, usually I can scrounge up just enough to keep myself from starving. _

Once I had stripped the tail to the bone, I made sure to lick it clean; I really don't like to waste good food. Though, it was quite a bit more than my normal diet… Somehow, I managed to walk over to where Charis was finishing up the last of what I had brought; man, either those two Bitches had been really starving him or he was a bottomless pit, I brought at least thirty pounds of meat plus a few pounds of berries on top of that. I found him lying on his side, trying in vain to clean his muzzle off. His stomach was visibly bulging… _I need to teach him to eat in moderation…_

"May I help?" I looked at him thoughtfully; I knew how hard it was to reach certain spots, especially when it came to the facial area. He nodded, seeing as his tongue was still hanging out.

"Now try to hold still, this may tickle a bit." I placed my forepaws on his shoulder blades for balance as I began working on his cheeks. I felt the barbs on my tongue hooking on his fur, slowly loosening the stain I was working on. He shifted slightly, so I slowed down; making sure to avoid his eye.

Once I got that spot clean I began working my way down his muzzle. It tasted like he hadn't bathed himself in weeks. Maybe I should give him a thorough bath; it's really not healthy to go too long without one. Besides, maybe he would appreciate it, better ask him first though. Once I finished with his face I stopped, having someone else bathe you was quite personal, and I had to make sure it was okay with Charis before I did it.

"I have a question," I said quietly "how long has it been since you bathed?" Charis looked down before answering.

"I… don't know how to very well, my mama was teaching me when…" I could tell he was about to start crying, so I jumped in.

"How about I clean you up then?"

"Really?" He asked, fighting back a tear.

"Of course, that is… if you want me to." Hopefully he understands that I just want to help him.

"Okay." Charis replied cheerfully. _That settles it, time to get started. Hopefully the rest of his body isn't as bad as his face is. _

I started by finishing the job on his head, going over his cheeks and throat a few times to make sure I got everything. From there, I washed his fluffy mane, gently pulling out several small knots in the fur. Even at this early stage the difference was clearly visible: the places I had washed were so much neater. _I bet Charis can feel the difference as well. But, there was still much work to be done. _

His chest and stomach area weren't too bad; mainly crusted over with dirt. Finally, I made it to his fluffy tail. It took me a bit longer to finish that part because he kept twitching it, asking him to stop wouldn't really do any good; it was an involuntary motion.

I finally finished it after several attempts, leaving only his underside to do. I hesitated, maybe it would be a good idea to simply show him how to wash that area; it's quite private. But, I hate leaving a job unfinished, and I know that holding myself back won't be a problem.

First though, I need to wait for what I've already done to dry first; no point in grinding dirt straight back in. Then again, his naturally high body temperature should do the trick; just wait a minute or so and his fur should dry itself. Charis was really getting fidgety now; standing still was not something he was really good at.

"Almost done, just need to wait for it to dry so I can finish." I reassured him. "If you want, you can move now."

"I'm okay." He replied. _Was he just trying to act grown up in front of me?_

Once I was sure his fur was dry enough, I asked him to lie on his side so I could wash his underside. Charis was nervous about this, so I promised him that I would be extra careful not to hurt him. That made him feel better, so he laid down and rolled over onto his back.

It was worse that I had imagined; the fur of his stomach was caked in mud, probably from our wrestling matches. Oh well, it could be worse. The mud could be rubbed off, leaving only his legs, chest and some light work on his stomach.

I laid my chest across him at an angle, getting myself in a more comfortable position. First up as his chest and forelegs, so it wouldn't take long. Doing this for Charis did teach me something though; he's really ticklish on the pads of his feet. He nearly went into a serious laughing fit when I ran my tongue over them once; good to know.

After some more work, all I had left was his stomach and hind legs; the part I was dreading. Not that I minded, it was tough for me to bathe someone I cared so much about in such a private spot. I just closed my eyes and did it; trying my best not to get too involved in it. When I finished, I got off of Charis, letting him roll back onto his stomach and stand up. He shook himself, which puffed out his mane to its full glory.

"Feel better?" I asked. Man it was getting hot in here. Must be the afternoon sun warming the ground above us.

"A lot. Thanks." Charis was walking around proudly, looking himself over. _I mean come on, I hadn't done THAT good a job; but he was on top of the world over it. Thankfully I have black fur or he might have seen be blushing; it meant a lot to me that he really liked the job I had done. _

I closed my eyes, focusing on the image of Charis being so happy to burn into my mind; I never wanted to forget this. He was so wonderful, always full of energy. _His innocence is also really cute, I have a feeling Charis would believe just about anything I told him._

I was thinking about when we first met, when I felt Charis leaning against me. My first thought was that he was making sure I was still okay, but that proved wrong when I heard a deep purring emanating from him.

"Thank you, for everything." He said, rubbing his cheek against mine. _Was he being serious? All I had done was look after him for today; and compared to what I must have put him through all last week, this was nothing to thank me for._

"For what?"

"For cleaning me up, and bringing me nice things to eat, and being nice to me. I'm glad you're my friend." _A friend? I haven't been called that in years. Even the females I used to hang out with only considered me to be a 'relief from the normal males'. It hasn't been since… damn, I can't even remember the last person that called me that. Just knowing that Charis thought of me like that made me feel a lot better about him; maybe the damage I must have done is starting to heal, or he forgot about last week. _

Either way, it was nice to know someone actually liked me; a sort of glimmer of hope in the depths of despair, a single lantern against the endless darkness I guess you could say. I licked his neck a few times, stopping when I felt a yawn coming on. _Man, all of a sudden I was really tired; guess I ate too much._ Charis must have overdone it as well because he started swaying slightly, barely keeping his eyes open.

"Come on," I said sleepily "we should take a good nap."

"But I'm… not tired." Charis tried to whine through a yawn. I simply smiled and gently pushed him down, carefully bringing him to the ground. Maybe it was my gentle touch or something else that soothed him. Whatever it was, he was out within seconds. Even asleep he was cute; just watching him there, dosing peacefully gave me a warm feeling.

That's when my need to sleep took full effect, man I haven't been this tired in years. I was kind of nervous sleeping next to Charis; I had no idea if he would mind. But, his warm fur and fluffy mane were too inviting. I flopped more than lay down next to him, bringing myself close to him for warmth. His fur was so soft, especially his mane; it was like lying on a fluffy cloud.

Whatever doubts I had about him minding went away when he sighed, and wrapped his forelegs around my neck, pinning me down. Oh well, it felt really nice being close to him, so I don't really mind being pinned down. But now… sleep calls.


	4. Innocence

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I woke up… I don't really know when, but I feel good. _I dreamed about Charis… man, I hope this doesn't become a routine._

Charis was already awake, stretching out near the entrance; I could hear his back popping from here and it bothered me. _Oh well, it sounded bad yet felt good; what can you do?_

I got up slowly, making sure not to overdue it and stretched as well. However long we were asleep, it had been the most peaceful I have felt since entering this pack. I shook myself off, stopping to lick my right shoulder blade before joining Charis. He heard me approaching and met me halfway; his blue eyes sparkled with joy.

My heart skipped a beat again, he was happy; he didn't even mind I slept next to him without permission and he was happy. _Oh, life was good for once; I had someone I could share it with, even though he saw me only as a friend I was willing to live with that._

I could feel a tear of joy coming on, so I turned and wiped my eye with a paw; no sense in showing such emotional weakness right now. Charis must have taken it as something he did, because his smile faded and he looked sad again.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked timidly, looking hurt.

"No, it's me; I… don't really have anyone that would call me a friend… before now, and it really means a lot to me." Truth be told, I wanted Charis to be so much more; my heart still ached to tell him, but I knew that he would try to fill that roll. He was sweet, worrying about me like that, but I can't dump my emotions on him like that; he has enough emotional trauma to deal with as it is.

I looked at him, letting my ruby eyes meet his sky blue ones; it was magical, at least for me. I could see my happiness reflected in him, even though his joy was over having someone who liked him while mine was from being so close to my love, but the feeling was mutual. I could feel my emotions telling me to rush forward and bury by face in his mane, but I settled for walking forward and licking his ear for a second.

"Come on, we still have some daylight. You up for some running?" _Silly question to ask, as Charis was still a bundle of energy; and after our nap he was ready to go._ _He was fidgeting near the den entrance, waiting patiently for me to go out first. _

We spent the remaining hours of light running around and simply enjoying ourselves; I was going to sleep good tonight. When twilight approached, I considered heading back toward my den but Charis begged me to stay… well, more of asked me to. _I mean come on, I had the choice between being alone in my own den, or staying with Charis in his; not a really tough decision._

Anyway, we went back into his den and settled in. even though it was still warm, I curled up close to him, burying my face in his fluffy mane. I told him that if it bothered him I would move away but he simply shook his head. I guess he liked the contact as much as me. I listened to his heart beating slowly, it's gently rhythm had a calming effect to it; soon I drifted off, back into the world of dreams. And this time, it wasn't an escape.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

We spent so much time together, sometimes running around the small clearing chasing each other. Other times we would get into a friendly wrestling match; that was always fun to do, even though I often walked away with a fair number of bruises. Sometimes we would simply lie together watching the sun slowly set over the tree line. _It didn't really matter to me, as long Charis was with me anything was fun. My love for him grew deeper over the weeks, which still hangs heavy on me because I have to hold myself back so often. _

_I want to tell him everything and let him make a decision, but the chances of him actually having any feelings in return for me are slim. Oh, how many times I just wanted something as simple as a kiss; but something like that should be mutual not forced or asked. At least I can be close to him. His fur feels nice, like lying on a warm cloud. Just resting my head on his chest makes life worth living. I found myself, for the first time in my life, actually being glad to have my illness; otherwise, I never would have met him. _

Life was going good, Alpha hadn't sent either of the bitch twins to bother us; maybe he lost interest in me and Charis. _I know it's too much to hope for, but just maybe I can stay with Charis and not have to go back to doing his dirty work. Then, I could work with Charis to try and find a way of bringing his true age out, but would I really want that? As it is right now he thinks I'm the greatest Pokèmon in the world, in his eyes I cannot do anything wrong. Do I really want to lose that for the off chance that he may care about me in return? _

My thoughts were interrupted by a low whimper followed by a cruel laugh. _Where was Charis?_

I looked around the clearing quickly, searching for a glimpse of red. He was surrounded by a burly pair of Absol, the same ones who have been harassing Charis for a few days now. Normally they take off when I approach, but today they're not getting away. _Nobody hurts MY Charis and gets away with it. _

Lucky for me, Dark types are not resistant to the specialized attacks I can use. I snuck around to the left, leaping through shadows cast by the morning sun, not appearing in reality for more than a few seconds before entering another shadow.

The rage I felt fueled me; allowing me to make an impressive twenty foot leap across a shadow gap, placing me right behind the larger of the pair. They didn't hear my landing, so I took a few minutes to come up with a plan of attack.

"Leave me alone." Charis said in a high pitched voice; he must be panicking.

"And why should we, you going to make us?" The first Absol said, pretending to be scared. I knew these two; they often terrorized many of the females, taunting and prodding them into trying to attack before brutalizing them in retaliation. And now they wanted to bully Charis for a while.

"I think he wants to fight us." The second Absol said, moving closer to Charis. He then smacked him hard across the face, leaving three fine claw marks. Blood tricked from the wound, matting with the pale fur of his muzzle. Charis began to tear up from the pain, muttering quietly that he wanted me there.

"Don't worry, help is on the way." I said silently.

"What's the matter huh, gonna cry?" the second Absol said cruelly, swatting Charis with a paw.

"Your boyfriend isn't here to save you now, is he?" The first Absol added, slashing Charis lightly across the chest. He just whimpered and tried to slink away, but his path was barred by the pair.

"Which means we get you all to us." Charis crouched down low, tears streaming down his face.

"Come on, play with us; we won't hurt you…much." This brought more cruel laughter from the pair as the lead Absol pushed Charis over while the second pounced on him. _Enough was enough: to hell with a plan, I'll kill them with my bare paws. _

I charged up a large Shadow Ball, firing the black orb directly at the Absol pinning Charis down. The attack collided squarely with his chest, I heard the satisfying crack of bones breaking as he was sent skidding across the dirt.

"What the fuck was that?' My victim asked, swinging his head around frantically in search of his attacker.

"NEVER hurt Charis, especially in front of me." I shouted, stepping out from the shadows. I could feel heat building up where my rings were, the fur on my back also stood up on end, as I began drawing upon the latent shadow energy deep within me. Within seconds, I could feel small bolts of black energy crackling around my body; they went too far this time and now they will pay with their lives.

My vision went red… _blood… must have blood… I can smell it in their veins… damnit; I have to keep a hold of myself. This is why I hate using this ability, it's hard to control it… kill… I must kill them… to drink the blood… the source of all… FOCUS. _

I charged forward, leaping straight at the Absol I had already wounded while uttering an unearthly screech. He simply lay there, paralyzed with fear… _foolish mortal…_ I could feel my teeth sinking deep into his throat, the sweet taste of his blood hit my tongue, trickling down my throat. I drank deeply, savoring every drop of it.

My enhanced hearing caught the sound of his partner charging toward me; fool, as if I couldn't hear his heavy footfalls crushing the pine needles beneath his pads. With a fluid motion, I tore out my first victims throat; tossing the soft chunk of flesh at the second Absol, catching him square in the face. The bloody chunk connected with a wet slap, blinding him for the few precious seconds I required.

While he was distracted, I leapt forward; extending razor sharp claws from all four of my feet. He didn't even see it coming as I came down upon him, raking my claws across his face; tearing at his eyes with a primal fury, reducing them to nothing more that a bloody mess of ocular tissue.

His shout of pain and rage was music to my ears; so I added to it with my own war cry, letting my rage and bloodlust out in a long harrowing note. The second Absol stumbled around blindly, confused at the loss of his sight combined with the howl that was emanating from deep within me.

Without ending my howl, I send a large bolt of black energy arcing toward the second Absol; his erratic movement saved him from the first shot. He came to his senses suddenly; turning in a random direction and running for his life. Unfortunately for him, my concentration was now fully on his demise; the second shot of energy struck its mark perfectly, tearing deep into his neck and back.

The bolt ripped apart flesh and bone as easily as a human would push a heated knife through butter; exposing muscle, bone, and nervous tissue to the open air. He collapsed, body convulsing in pain; each spasm forced the shattered bones of his spine further outward, the quiet sound of muscle and ligaments tearing was unheard by all but me.

It was a beautiful scene, both of the bastards that tried to hurt Charis were slowly dying; the first was bleeding profusely from where his throat used to be, he'll be dead in a few seconds. The other is currently suffering through a shattered backbone, fractured ribs and no doubt some internal bleeding. As a human saying goes, you can't have too much of a good thing; my rings glowed brightly again as I summoned a pocket of shadow around myself and my new toy.

In his last dying breaths that Absol begged for mercy; even though he knew he was finished, he wanted a quick death. As if I would be so kind, his death was to be painful. I raked my claws across his body again and again, delighting each time he cried out in pain. Blood slowly tricked down his body where my claws had torn into him, staining his snow white fur a dark shade of red.

At that point his breathing became labored; I didn't have much time left. With lightning quick motions, I tore what remained of his body to pieces; leaving nothing larger than my head intact. _It is finished._

I was inspecting my work when a wave of pain overcame me; I doubled over, clutching my stomach and whining in pain. It felt like something was trying to tear my stomach apart from the inside, the pain was so great I could barely move. My body convulsed slightly, causing me to retch all over myself. I stared at it: and as my vision returned to normal, I saw the thing I had feared. _Red, I was coughing up blood; I had used my black rage too long and was paying for it._ The world began to black out, so with all the energy I could muster, I collapsed the shadow I was in. At least if I die, Charis will know what happened…

o0o0o0o0o0o0

_Ohh, my head is killing me… what happened…? Am I dead…? Is there even anything after this life for a freak like me…?_

"You're not dead silly, just asleep." That _voice, it sounded so familiar… Charis?_

"Of course it's me, who else would it be?"

_Okay, if this is a dream, can I wake up now?_

"Okay." I yelped in pain, someone or something bit my tail. I snapped my eyes open, hardly believing what met me. I was back in Charis' den, lying on my side facing the entrance. At least I know I'm not dead; why else would I be here? I tried to turn my neck but a sharp pain stopped me from seeing much.

"Is that you Charis?" _I feel kind of stupid asking, but given the things I've seen in my lifetime it's a legitimate question._

"I told you before it's me why would that change?" You never know when a pair of very old illusionist Ninetails are living in the same pack as you.

"Could you come around where I can see you, I can't seem to turn my neck." _If this is a trick, 'Charis' won't come within my line of sight; I know every hair on his body and there is no way some fake would fool me that easily._

I heard a light pair of feet walking around me, it sounded like him; he always walked with a slight limp. That's when I caught a scent; it sure smelled like him, though that could be faked.

Once my 'savior' came into my line of sight, I knew instantly it was Charis; no one else, even in illusion could muster the mixed look he was giving me right now. Charis looked both cheerful and concerned; a unique combination that I had only seen once before, the time he twisted my leg in a play fight.

"It's good to see you're all right." I said, smiling faintly. God how simply seeing him could put a smile on my face. I just hoped that I didn't accidentally hurt him in my black rage.

"Do you feel any better?"

"Quite a bit. How long have I been out?" It would be nice to know how long I had blacked out this time.

"Um, about a day or so." Why was he so nervous about that fact?

"And how did I get down here? I remember passing out in the clearing."

Charis shifted uncomfortably before answering.

"While you were out, I dragged you in here to keep you safe. I hope you're not mad at me." _Why would I be mad, I really appreciated that he was looking out for me._

"I'm not mad at you," I said in a quiet voice "I'm just glad to have someone as nice as you looking out for Me." and wish that we could be more, I added in my mind. _Oh how, I wanted him even more now, and I knew for a fact that he actually cared about me in some way because of this event. _

This gives me an idea. I struggled to get up, collapsing on my stomach once before succeeding. Man, even staying still for a day really does a number on your leg muscles. Shakily, I made my way over to where Charis was sitting. He simply watched, probably ready to spring up and help should I collapse again. Once I got there, I sat down next to him, letting my body lean against his. _Oh man, my body felt so drained; kind of like I had stayed up for a week straight, running hard the entire time._

I was so glad to have Charis to lean on…he was warm and soft… he smelled so nice… I could feel the pain in my body fading just being near to him. I rested my head on the side of his neck, purring loudly. Charis probably thought I was crazy for doing this, but his body heat made me feel so much better. I nearly dozed off again, but I had something to say.

"Charis… I need to tell you something." Man this was hard; okay, deep breath and…

"I don't want to ever lose you, to anyone. I want to be with you always; to watch over you, to be there for you in good times and in bad times, to see you thorough happiness and sadness. It's nothing much, but I promise you here and now that I will never leave your side, never let you down, never leave you wanting anything. I will be there for you, no matter what happens." _There, I said it; hopefully he doesn't realize that I just recited a lover's pact to him, but I have to tell him in a way that he can understand._

I pushed off gently and flopped down onto my stomach, looking up at Charis. He just stared at me with those beautiful blue eyes of his, considering what I had just said. _Just looking at him made me feel stupid; I loved someone that probably couldn't understand how I feel, and even if he could I doubt he would have any feelings in return for me so much it hurt._ That's when Charis threw me a curve ball. I saw a single tear forming in his eye as he lay on my back crossways, sniffling slightly.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's just… that was really nice of you to say." Charis replied in a quavering voice. "Did you really mean it?"

"Every word." I replied, rolling slightly so I could look him in the face. His blue eyes sparkled with joy, I guess my words really touched him; and I did mean every one of them. How I wanted to express my love for him in a way he would understand, but that was not to be.

After both of us had enough time to recover from how physically and emotionally draining that was, I crawled over and curled up next to Charis; wondering if how he saw me would change for the better or worse because of today. Oh well, what's done is done and there's no changing it. I just hope that I haven't pushed myself further from him. The sound of Charis' voice brought me back to reality.

"That was…really nice." He said, resting his chin on my chest. _Did he understand the symbolism behind what we just did?_

"Thank you, I've never done that for anyone before. It was my first time."

"You chose your first time to be with me?" Charis seemed really happy at that thought. Of course I chose him; there's no other male in the world as perfect as he is in my eyes.

"Did you like it?" I asked, I know he said it was really nice, but his hesitation worried me.

"Yeah, it felt so good. But why did you do that with me now?" good question.

"I… have really strong feelings for you… I've told you that before but they've grown even stronger since. I don't want to force how I live upon you; I just wanted you to feel an extreme high at least once. And if you ever want me to do that again, or you want something from me just ask; I promise that I will let you do anything you want to me."

"Don't be silly, just playing with you is fun enough." Charis said, giggling. My heart sank a bit; _'just playing was enough.' Then he didn't understand, but I guess that was to be expected. He was mentally a child after all._ I felt tired; maybe it was the exertion or maybe my body was telling me to give it some time to deal with my earlier meal. Either way, I heaved a yawn and snuggled closer to Charis, his soft fur lulling me into a peaceful sleep.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

_Life was really good; Charis was getting more independent, he didn't need to wait for me every time he wanted to go outside. He also was more assertive on doing things; though he knew to wait for approval before doing them. _

_In all respects, I think he was growing up; which brought mixed feelings with it. On the one paw I wanted to see him grow and expand. On the other… I might lose him. Yep, life was nice; until the single worst thing that could happen did. One of the bitch sisters showed up one morning. Luckily I spotted her first, cutting her path to Charis off quickly._

"Step aside Blackass, Boss wants the little freak." _God, I hate them so much._

"What does Alpha want with him?" I asked, trying to make myself imposing. It caught her off guard seeing me actually stand up to her so she gave me a straight answer for once.

"He has some business with him; don't bother asking cause that's all he told me."

"Do I… have to go?" Charis asked nervously from behind me, swallowing hard. His voice was shaking; whatever Alpha did to him the first time they met must have been horrible. But, orders were orders; though they weren't clear.

"I'm afraid you do… and I'm going with you."

"But Boss ordered-"

"-You to bring Charis to him, but he didn't mention anything about me. Either I go or you'll have to go through me to get Charis." I threatened, bristling my fur to show I meant business.

"Fine. If you get your fool ass killed as a result, at least I'll be there to piss on the corpse."

"Then it's settled." I said coldly. Gone were the days that those two could push me around; I have something worth fighting for now.

"Come on Charis, I won't let anything happen to you." He followed reluctantly, sticking close to me for comfort. The bitch lead us down a path hidden beneath a thick layer of undergrowth. _I can't place a paw on it, but something about the plants here doesn't seem natural._

Every step further seemed to cause the air temperature to drop slightly; Alpha must be close. Soon, the area was blanketed in a thick bank of fog, obscuring everything further than three feet around us. Charis was moaning softly, whatever was in the air was worse on him. I slowed down and licked his ear in an effort to calm him. It partially worked; he stopped moaning but was still quite reluctant to continue.

"Come on, we're probably almost there so we can find out what he wants and go home."

"But… this place feels bad…" Charis said, looking around wildly.

"I know, I feel it as well." That was the truth; something about this place wasn't right. But we had to press on. After a few more minutes, the bitch stopped and turned around, staring at me coldly.

"You have to wait here; Boss's orders." _How the hell did she get orders way out here? Fuck it, I don't really care right now._

I turned to Charis and looked him directly in the eyes. It pained me to tell him that he had to go with her, but what could I do?

"Charis, you need to go with her for a little while." The words were so bitter in my mouth I wanted to gag.

"Why can't you go with me?" He asked, his blue eyes flashing.

"Alpha wants to see you alone." Charis looked down… _hopefully he wouldn't start crying._

I pulled his chin up with a paw, licking his cheek once. "I promise to be here when you return, okay?"

"Okay…" he walked off slowly, his tail dragging across the bare ground sadly. I hated to see him like that but I really had no choice. At least I could be the first person he sees when he returns.

Charis and the bitch walked off into the fog, vanishing in the swirling mists. I sat down, ignoring the shock of cold that met me. Wo_uld he be all right? Alpha has ways of changing you; and never for the better. He's the one that unleashed the full potential of my black rage, not even caring that it has a good chance of killing me. That's the kind of leader he is: sadistic. I know for a fact that watching others suffer cruel deaths or be pitted against terrors beyond their nightmares is a sport for him; and I was one of his favorite players. I'd give anything for his demise… well, almost anything._

I lost track of time sitting there staring at the mists. No matter how long it took, I wasn't going to move from this spot; I promised to meet Charis here and that is what I am going to do. After what seemed like hours, Charis emerged from the fog exactly where he vanished. I ran up to him in greeting but stopped. He looked sad for some reason.

"Charis… is everything okay?" the look on his face was scary; it reminded me all too well of the look he gave me after the week I had sexually used him. He looked up slowly, his eyes brightening. I breathed a sigh of relief when he smiled and tackled me. He seemed heavier; maybe he had eaten before being sent back. We wrestled for a minute, before I suggested that we get back to the den; this place was really giving me the creeps.

Back at the den, we huddled close together trying to dispel the cold feeling clinging to our fur. I bathed Charis quickly, doing a bit of a rush job because I wanted to know all about why Alpha called him there. Well, I would have if Charis wasn't so tired.

Once I had finished bathing him he waited patiently for me to lie down before snuggling up against my underside and falling sound asleep. _Oh well, he's cute when he sleeps._ I whispered a quiet good night into his ear, before settling in myself.


	5. Flicker

o0o0o0o0o0o0

In the morning, I was woken up by Charis flopping on top of me; must have been sleepwalking or something. I opened my eyes slowly, blinking several times to get the sleep out of them. When they focused I found myself staring into the upside down face of Charis. If it had been anyone else I would have been mad, but somehow I can't muster any anger at that cute little face.

"Morning Charis." I mumbled. _I just hope that the sun's at least up._

"Morning." He replied. _Why is he just staring at me like that?_

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, I just like watching you."

"Okay…" I mumbled. _Man, I need more sleep…_ I closed my eyes and drifted off again, hoping to get a few more hours shut eye.

When I awoke again, it was to the smell of cooking meat. I stirred slowly, not even opening my eyes as I followed the lovely aroma. My mini journey led me outside; I could feel the late morning sun beating down on me. That's when I opened my eyes.

I was treated to a scene of beauty; a small fire was blazing, someone had dug a small pit and set some pine needles and dried branches on fire. Every so often a long tongue of flame erupted, bringing with it a wave of heat. A small stream of smoke was drifting upward, carrying with it that heavenly aroma, but there was no sign of Charis.

"Charis? Charis, are you around?" it really worried me when he wasn't here; I often feared that something would happen to him.

"Just a second." Was the muffled reply. For a second I thought he was in the den, but I just came from there. Then it hit me; he was a fire type, probably immune to the intense heat of a fire. But what was he doing down there? I got my answer almost immediately; Charis pulled himself up, carrying a large hunk of meat in his jaws. The smart guy had figured out that he could cook our meals by holding them in his jaws and sitting in a fire. Wonder where he got that idea.

"Sorry about waking you up earlier." He said apologetically. What was he sorry about?

"It's all right," I said, waving my paw "so, what have you been doing?" _As if I didn't know. I just wanted to hear his side of it. _

"Well, I got tired of eating everything raw so I made a fire pit and cooked it." Charis said, slurring around the meat in his jaw.

"Quite ingenious, if I say so myself. May I have some?"

"Come and get it." He replied, taking off running. I gave chase, a bit annoyed that he wouldn't share yet happy to see him displaying normal behavior for someone his mental age. I chased him and bit down on the hunk he was carrying, getting into a game of tug-o-war with him. _I haven't played this since… well, since I lived back in my old pack. It brings back good memories: hanging out with friends, not really caring about anything in particular, just wanting to have fun. And that's just what I was doing; having a lot of fun fighting over a bit of food with the one I wish to spend my life with. _

The hunk finally gave way, sending the both of us tumbling to the ground. I landed hard on my tail, nearly yelping in pain and losing my hard earned prize. Charis didn't fare as well; he 

crashed into a large tree, losing his grip and dropping his piece into the dirt. I would have laughed if not for the look of disappointment on Charis' face.

Once I could right myself, I walked over and offered him my piece; I didn't mind a bit of dirt. He took it gratefully, looking embarrassed, so I gave him a gently shove before grabbing the dirty piece and taking off back toward the den.

I caught a glimpse of a strange Sneasel talking with some of the females, but I didn't care right now; he or she was probably just new around here. Though even at a glance its scars were obvious. Either it was a heavy fighter, or someone had really done a number on it; one of its ears was missing.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

The weeks flew by, every so often another messenger would come for Charis; I went with every time, of course. Sometimes he was gone for a few hours and others it seemed like an entire day before he returned. Every time he did it was the same; he moved in a sleeplike state before seeing me, at which point he returned to his normal self. It really started to worry me when I noticed how jagged his teeth were getting, but put it off as Alpha was having him fight or something. I asked him many times about what Alpha wanted with him, but all he could remember was seeing a shadowy figure, then a 'really bad feeling' overcame him. Next thing he knew, I was there. It was really strange.

Today started out quiet. Charis and I played for a while, enjoying the cool fall air. God I loved being able to eat cooked food; who knew such a simple luxury could be so nice? It really masked the taste of old food, and got sick on it considerably less that when we only ate it raw. _Being in love with a fire type really had some perks._

A strange scent was in the air; I knew it was from a group of dark types, but they weren't familiar. I passed it off as just a bunch of new males trying to join or a fresh batch of females being 'broken in.' I shuddered, and not from the cold. For some reason, thinking about females being treated horribly just because of their gender bothered me more lately. In my moment of distraction, Charis pounced on me, pinning me to the ground.

For a split second I thought my fantasy was going to come true, but that moment passed. Charis bit down softly on my neck and hung on as I tried to buck him off. When that didn't work I flopped on my side, rolling onto my back and on top of him in the process. He finally called uncle, so I let him up. _Man, even in the middle of hell itself we could have fun. Life was actually good, and for the first time I hoped that it wouldn't change. _Fucking fate decided to try and ruin my life again though.

We were just heading back into our den for a nap when a large Absol burst into our clearing. At first I figured that it was just another bully coming to try and torment Charis. That idea was thrown out the window when I noticed our guest was female, and well built to boot. Even from here I could tell that she was a strong fighter; her well toned muscles were rock hard, the steely glint in her eyes told me that she was DEFINETLY not a member of the pack.

Before I could even extend a greeting, two more Absol appeared next to her; _God was the pack getting attacked or something._ I lowered myself to the ground, trying to not appear a threat while slinking over toward Charis. I froze when a large explosion shook the trees, scaring a few Pidgey out of their nests. Our mystery guests snapped their heads in unison toward the sound before dashing off; leaving just myself, and Charis alone in the clearing.

"What was that?" Charis asked, burying his face in my chest.

"I don't know." I replied, licking his neck to comfort him. "But maybe we should just stay here and wait it out."

"That big noise was scary." Indeed it was; I couldn't think of anything in the area that could cause something that loud.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." I said reassuringly. "Come on, we should get back to the den."

"Can't we play some more?" Charis asked, looking at me hopefully. I knew that we needed to head for safety but I couldn't say no to that look.

"Okay but we can only play for a bit; whoever those Absol were didn't look friendly." Charis barely heard me; he was too busy chasing a pinecone he kept throwing. I sighed and followed; it looked kind of fun.

We played, losing all track of time; but we were having fun so who cares, right? Well, any other day it would have been fine but not today. Charis and I were just getting into a game of tag when those three Absol showed up again; this time accompanied by a pair of burly Mightyena.

Charis and I both froze in our tracks; watching the five of them very carefully. Something about them was different; they were… free. Just from the look in their eyes I could tell that they weren't from this pack; they lacked the defeated look.

I was just starting to wonder where they came from when a group of the packs hunters crashed through a bush, charging wildly at the outsiders. Upon seeing them, I ran over to Charis and tried to nudge him toward the den; with no success. He was frozen in place; petrified by fear.

The hunters and outsiders tore into each other, both sides fighting viciously. I covered Charis' eyes with my paws; I didn't want him to see this. What I guessed was the lead Absol tore a two-foot gash into one of the hunters, spilling his intestines onto the dirt. He stopped and stared at it for a second before collapsing, lying on his side and drawing his final breaths.

The outsiders fought hard, slaying hunter after hunter without taking a single casualty; it was a fine display of speed and skill that made me quite envious, and sick at the same time. Having to watch so much death at once was turning my stomach; add to that the sticky scent of blood mixed with dirt and sweat, it was a wonder I didn't throw up right then and there.

Just as the last of the hunters were dying, more arrived; chased by another Absol, a simply huge Mightyena, a well built Umbreon and strangely enough… an Espeon. All of them had to be outsiders, I would remember seeing a one eyed Absol in the pack.

I stood up and told Charis to lie down and stay low. He did as I told him, allowing me to mentally prepare myself. The outsiders hadn't really taken notice of us, but if they did I was prepared to sacrifice myself to keep Charis safe. The fighting intensified; blasts of ghost, ice, dark, and psionic energy flew around the small clearing; every so often a howl of pain could be heard from another dying hunter.

The ground began to turn red from the bloodshed; I felt the black rage building within me, but I couldn't release it now. Whenever one of the outsiders or hunters got too close I would lash out with my claws; not specifically aiming to injure as much as I was just making sure they stayed away from Charis.

It was working pretty well; the two sides were more interested in tearing each other apart than attacking us. The number of hunters dwindled; the outsiders were clearly the better fighters but those blood-crazed Mightyena weren't going to stop until the last one of them had fallen. I cringed as a head rolled toward me; its lifeless eyes stared blankly at me. I swatted it away; _man, that was creepy._

In my moment of distraction, something struck me hard. I howled as the pain coursed through my left shoulder blade. I knew it wasn't fatal, but that didn't stop it from hurting. I collapsed to the blood soaked ground, landing with a small splash; _I had failed Charis. Soon, the cold embrace of death would take hold of me; no doubt the outsiders would finish me off once the hunters were disposed of. I closed my eyes, focusing on the image of Charis; if I was to die today, I wanted to be thinking about the one that made my life worth living these past months. _

That's when I felt a presence standing above me. I looked upward, nearly leaping up from shock and joy at what I saw; Charis was standing over where I had fallen, trying to shield me. I smiled, the protector had become the protected; even though he must be terrified right now, Charis had put that aside to defend me from further harm. My love and respect for him grew even more; he was so selfless, even though he only saw me as a friend… I think.

The fight was over; as the last hunter fell, so did my hopes of survival. Whenever a hostile force invaded and won, they often killed off the other members of the original pack. But they were just standing around, as if waiting for something.

'State your name.' _Great, now I'm hearing voices._

"Ch-Charis." _Or maybe that psychic is using telepathy, my bad. It was odd though, why does he want to know our names?_

"I'm Blackwind." Man I hope that it is the psychic we're hearing. The response I got was a dull ache in my skull; _he must be using some psionic ability on me. _

I dropped all my mental defenses; there really wasn't a point in resisting right now and it seemed to hurt less when I did. I could feel him or her, don't really know, rifling through my mind much like those scientists would one of those metal boxes. The feeling went away as quickly as it started; guess the psychic found something interesting.

'You have committed no murders. You are free to go.' _Free to go? I wasn't going to be killed? But I'm going anywhere without Charis_.

I wiggled my way out from beneath him, wincing every time I moved my busted shoulder. Somehow I stood up on my three good legs, holding the one with a broken shoulder a few inches above the ground. When I took a few steps and Charis didn't follow, I looked back. He was just standing there, staring at the ground blankly. I hobbled over to him, expecting Charis to look up immediately, but when he continued staring I got worried.

"Are you okay?" I leaned against him, partially for support and partially to get his attention. He just looked up slowly; his hollow eyes bore a look of utter sadness. "What's wrong?" I asked in shock; never had I seen such a look on his face.

"I'm a monster…" He whispered. I stared at him; his voice was different, somehow more… adult like.

"Why would you be a monster?" I asked, licking his cheek.

"I murdered so many in cold blood, they say that it was some sort of dark influence within me but that I am still responsible." _It was eerie; gone was the childish squeak in his voice, almost like he's cured…_

"But when… how…"

"Reaper: the one you call Alpha used me to murder in cold blood anyone that opposed him. I don't remember doing them, but I have the memories of doing it within me."

'And as such, he is to be executed for his actions.'

"That's not fair!" I shouted. _I don't care if they attacked me for this. It had to be said._

"You're judging him for something that he had no control over, and now you're going to kill him for it; he didn't even commit the crimes himself." I hoped this worked.

'It is true that he mentally didn't know about them, but the fact remains that something within him committed these unforgivable acts. As such, we must execute the active personality.' _Whoever this psychic is, he or she was almost as cold blooded as Alpha… Reaper._

"Then, I shall die by his side." I said in a committing voice. _If I can't save him from death, then I will join him._

You are free to go, why would you choose to throw that away? _The fool probably doesn't understand how strong love really is; he or she should know that I love Charis deeply, and will gladly give my life to be with him to the end._

"Because I love him; and even though he has never been able to return my love I still stay by his side."

'Very well; stand by his side if you wish.' I hobbled over to Charis, smiling faintly when he stared at me. _It will be all right; even though I don't know what lies on the other side, but I'll brave it just to be with Charis in his last minutes of life._

The one eyed Absol walked up and stood a few feet in front of us; looking as if she didn't want to go through with this. She crouched down, closing her single eye and focusing. My body was trembling; _I have brushed with death many times, but every time I found a way to survive. But now it was all over; no lucky break, nobody to bail me out; I was facing judgment._

"Charis?"

"Yeah."

"We're really going to die, aren't we?"

"Yeah…"

I looked at the ground, trying to muster the courage I needed to say this. "I have no regrets, do you?"

"Just one…" He replied, staring at the ground.

"What?" I hoped that it wasn't something that I had done. He looked up at me, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

"That I didn't realize how much you loved me until now; and that I never told you that I love you in return." He loved me? He really loved me? Oh…how I wanted one kiss…one final embrace…

"Charis…" I closed my eyes, pressing my lips against his. _How sweet it is, our first real kiss…too bad it would be our last. Oh well, at least I got to experience this…_

The Absol launched a massive cloud of ice and snow toward us; the attack froze both of our bodies instantly, leaving us locked in our embrace. Then something struck our frozen bodies… and then, I knew nothing…

To be continued…


	6. A time to heal: Fated crossroad

Disclaimer: all characters, places, and recognized names are copy write their respective owners. Anything else is mine, so please don't be a thief; Shadowbane doesn't appreciate it.

_Italicized_ words are thoughts

**A time to heal**

I don't know you, nor do I really care, but you might as well know me.

My name is Kitsune Teragashi Masaharu; Kitsu for short. I am a Ninetails, or to be more accurate: a soul bound Ninetails spirit manifesting in a physical form. Simply put: I'm what humans would call a ghost, a powerful remnant of myself that can fully interact with the living world as I wish. It's a pretty good setup; what with being over twelve hundred years old and all.

It's not all fun though: much of my time alive, and indeed in my un-life, I've searched for my true destiny; the true reason that I am here.

With a bit of divining, I can read the fine threads of fate and manipulate events to best suit my interests, but I always search for key events; intersections of fate that will bring me closer to that which I seek.

Some may call it cold hearted to use those around me, but I see it as the way things work: the strong use the weak, that's the law I follow. And, it has served me well throughout the centuries.

Contrary to silly human beliefs, the Ninetails species is just as mortal in its beginnings as any other species; we just have a longer life span than the lower species, giving us enough time to develop our innate abilities to a pinnacle of perfection.

I myself have mastered the art of spiritual spell crafting: a powerful branch of magic that allows me to draw upon the energy of my very soul to perform a wide array of healing and illusionary feats.

Humans think they're so big and powerful: hiding behind their silly little toys, when the very power lying dormant within every living thing could destroy them instantly.

I have only taught my abilities to one other, and only because his fate and mine are tightly intertwined; even though he actually believes I see him as a friend. Pah, friendships are meaningless, a simple emotional reaction that blinds you and blocks the path to your true destiny.

I have once had someone I called 'friend', but he died just like any other mortal does: and, from then on I've relied only on my own abilities to survive, making quick alliances when it suits me, and using anyone of value until they no longer have use to me. Call me a cold hearted creature if you will, but your opinions mean nothing to me; I live life how fate guides it.

_I really don't know why I bothered saving Charis' soul._ There's something about him, and that vile... thing, that was with him, that resonates with my fate, so he must play some important part in my future.

Being stuck with that waste of breath is an insult, but it was caught in the net... and even though it sickens me, its presence helped settle Charis' soul down.

I swear that when I get the chance, I'm going to banish its soul to the darkest part of the afterlife I can find; but, for now, at least I don't have to see, hear, smell, or even sense the freak of nature. The only thing I have to do is keep its soul suspended in this world; something a vile waste like it shouldn't be afforded.

Of course, Charis is just another pawn; I could care less that he is my Godson, which was just another pointless title that my 'friend' bestowed upon me.

I pretend to actually care about it, going so far as having feigned happiness at being named such to him and his siblings: _such a foolish notion. Pah, who knew that any of them would have any actual use to me rather than being an annoyance? _

His soul was clouded when I netted it upon death: normally, a free soul has a light blue hue to it, but Charis' was nearly black, which told me that something was wrong. From what William told me, Charis had been infected by a powerful negative influence; which had torn his mind into two separate personalities.

While he did retain a bit of his true self, most of his memories and mental age had been consumed by the darkness that had spread through his body, much like a cancer. It ravaged his mind, growing more and more powerful, by feeding off every negative thought, every feeling of hatred or jealousy that Charis had ever experienced.

It's a miracle anything was left, though what remains is pretty pathetic. Charis has been reduced to a child; thinking, feeling, and acting as if he were only six months old.

And, that is where I come in. Normally, I would just reincarnate his soul into a new body; but, with such a strong dark influence still present, I will have to purify him before bringing him back to the mortal plane.

Why William had to go through and kill him in the first place still baffles me, something about crimes he committed, or some other nonsense; if he was still alive, this would take allot less time. And, I wouldn't have to deal with the reject that came with him.

At least William cannot disturb me in my pocket dimension: in the real world I will appear to be sleeping in a sitting position; while in reality, my soul has left my husk of a body behind, to manifest itself here.

'Here' is not much: a black void extending roughly thirty square feet, covered in a layer of endless fog. Try and run too far one direction, and you will find yourself looping back to where you started. A perfect place to detain someone unwilling to cooperate: they have nowhere to hide from you.

I took a few deep breaths, mentally preparing myself for the first of what will probably be many sessions with Charis. After a few calming exercises, I concentrated; calling Charis' soul to this plane.

He appeared in front of me just as he was in life; a large Flareon with odd colored fur and bright blue eyes. I stared at him coldly, using my intimidating presence to show him that I was in charge.

"Charis." I boomed. He cowered upon hearing his name. "I have brought you here because you need time to heal from your wounds." _What, you actually think I would tell him the truth_? _I haven't used the whole truth in over six hundred years._

He simply looked around wildly, fidgeting.

"Do you understand?"

"Wh-Where's Blackwind?" He asked in a quavering voice.

Upon hearing that vile name I growled; _I will NOT have it mentioned in my presence._

"Your companion is indisposed right now." I said, laughing under my breath.

_Oh he was indisposed all right; I had him trapped in a state of suspended animation, waiting for when I have time to decide on a proper method of disposal. When you have lived through as many empires as I have, you pick up a few good ways to torture others. _

"Now, I need you to-" I was interrupted by Charis running off, presumably to find his little freak friend.

This was just great; it should only take a few days to clear out the largest pockets of corruption, IF Charis will cooperate. _Looks like I may have to do this the hard way. _

I didn't even bother getting up; sooner or later Charis would reach the barrier and loop back to where I was. I just wish he would stop calling out the freaks name; it's starting to give me a headache.

A shadowy aura trailed after him, emanating from his body and fading into nothing. It would be easy for me to simply send his soul on to the afterlife, but his father already knows I'm keeping him on the mortal plane, and doing such would raise some very unwanted questions. So, for now, I was to endure him.

He ran around for at least twenty minutes before collapsing in exhaustion. _Serves him right, he should have realized that this realm goes in circles. Oh well_.

With a shrug I stood up slowly; taking time to stretch before calmly wandering over. _Stupid kid, I think fate is playing a joke on me or something; how could one who has been reduced to a child like state have any importance whatsoever in the bigger picture?_ _Bah, trying to question fate is like asking a river to change its course; it is just not going to happen. _

Charis freaked out when I approached, babbling something about a mean fox before starting to cry. I had to grit my teeth, as his wailing rose to a point it could have awoken the dead.

_Damnit, if he keeps breaking down in tears like this over nothing, then I may never make any real progress with him._ I need something… something to get his attention… but what besides that disgusting creature Charis has attached himself to?

To Hell with it, I can get through to him myself; it's not like he has any real mental defenses.

"Charis!" I shouted.

Upon hearing his name, he stopped his wailing, though the tears kept flowing. His eyes were now bloodshot; the fur of his muzzle matted down in a highly undignified way.

Charis kept sniffling and coughing as I spoke. "You need to stop running around like this; you have a very powerful evil growing within you and it must be removed as soon as possible."

"But Blackwind…"

"Do not mention that name in my presence ever again, do you understand!?" I shouted, striking him across the nose with a paw. He began crying harder, but nodded. "Good. Now get up, you don't need to lie down right now."

Charis did as instructed, not even daring to look me in the face. "Now close your eyes and focus on good memories; and stop that crying, you're too old for that."

He did as instructed; mumbling under his breath as he focused hard. Slowly, long strands or black energy began snaking off of Charis' body. I focused on them, slowly pulling them loose from his body and destroying them.

We continued this exercise for about five minutes, until the negative energy took hold again, curling back downward and digging itself in deeper. Each time this happened, Charis winced, causing more of the darkness to burrow back under his skin; ruining most of the progress I had made.

"Damnit Charis, I told you to focus!" My headache was beginning to worsen; the strain of pulling the chains of dark energy from his soul combined with his irritating behavior was getting to me.

He simply looked down and started crying again_. I don't need this right now; I could be looking for another key occurrence, but no, I have to watch over the evil infected crybaby._

I slapped him across the cheek with a tail as I turned to leave, ignoring his crying. I need to get away from him for a bit; that bit of darkness I had destroyed had really drained me.

"I'm leaving for a bit; don't bother looking for that freak you like because he's not here." I was about to leave when I felt Charis tap my right flank. "What?" I said coldly, turning to face him.

"Could you bring him please; it's dark and scary here." Charis asked, giving me a hopeful look.

"No, he's unavailable right now."

"Please, I promise to do better if you do." He pleaded.

"My final decision is no, so stop asking." Charis teared up for a third time and ran off, calling me a meanie before collapsing in a fit of sobs.

_Hmph, stupid kid. I can't understand why he wants that freak around so badly. Maybe… I can use his blind devotion to force some concentration out of him._

But, at the moment, all I wanted was something to soothe this splitting headache. With a small pop, I left my pocket dimension, hardly hearing Charis' stupid crying.

Once I return to the physical realm, my first move was to find some pain killers. Thankfully William usually has some herbal remedies on hand; I won't go near any of that human stuff.

The trail back toward the mansion was blessedly deserted; I was NOT in the mood to deal with anyone right now.


	7. Veil of lies

o0o0o0o0o0o0

_Damn these stupid earrings, holding me to my physical form_._ Normally I could simply withdraw from the illusion I created, becoming something akin to a ghost and freeing myself from all types of pain. But, as I was bearing a pair of soul gems, I am trapped in one state. _

Add that to the list of things worsening this headache. Now it felt like a Snorlax was using my skull as a tap dance pad; _God I hate Charis right now. Why can't he just cooperate like a nice little mortal and let me finish my job?_

The cool night air did bring me a little comfort; by now everyone else will have gone to sleep, meaning that I can be alone for a while.

Thanks to my superior night vision, finding my way back to the mansion was a simple task. Along the way I could hear many of the nocturnal Pokèmon becoming active; the occasional hoot of a Noctowl pierced the darkening sky, mixed with the occasional cry of a Murkrow searching for shiny objects.

_Foolish creatures; scurrying along their short lives without even realizing that fate has already decided their fate. Hmph, and to think I'm stuck among these fools, trapped here simply because I have to watch over an infected mortal and a freak of nature._

It's times like this that I look back and curse fate; William may have been the first key occurrence, but,_ what if it wasn't even that important? What if I misread it and bound myself to him needlessly?_

It's true that I was nearing the end of my life span, but I could have simply found some other fool to bind myself to before overpowering them and, using their soulless body to continue my search.

The sight of the mansion against the moonlit sky was a relief; _soon I can rid myself of this headache and devise another plan of attack on Charis_.

I made my way silently across the lawn, approaching the back door stealthily; _you never know when one of his family members is wandering around. God, it's so great to have psionic abilities; makes entering places that a normal Ninetails would have trouble with a breeze._

Focusing, with all the concentration my headache would allow, I quietly turned the doorknob and entered, making sure to shut the door behind me.

The interior was definitely not what you would expect from someone worth in upwards of twenty billion to have as his décor; the kitchen was quite plain, just a medium sized refrigerator with a few rather idiotic magnets stuck to its surface.

A small pile of unwashed dishes sat in the sink, all of which were quite plain in appearance; probably purchased at some second-hand store or something, judging by the chips. Even the cabinetry was very basic; no real show of wealth in any of it.

I snorted in disgust; how someone as rich as William can even stand to live with such…common décor, is completely beyond me. Bah, just staring at it makes me nauseous; and I don't want to add that to the list of uncomfortable things I'm feeling right now, so I left; flicking my tails at the scene in disgust.

I've been here long enough to know my way around perfectly; all the better, I don't have to look at the deplorable furniture that filled this place. No matter how many hints I drop, or how many comments I leave William still refuses to live better than a commoner; always saying that 'just because you have money doesn't mean you have to live like it'.

_Then what the hell is having money good for?_ You use your financial influence to show your superiority over others. _Guess the old ways have died._

I thought back to the feudal times; living as one of the Masaharu Ninetails fighters, sworn to Kentako Masaharu, leader of the clan. Back then I lived in luxury; servants catered to my every whim; the only time I had to really do anything, was when Master Masaharu wished me to train with him, or be at his side in battle.

Oh, how I loved being at his side; his commanding voice booming out to the soldiers, quickly and confidently giving out orders. That same voice had spoken to me softly many times. Many nights I would stay in his bed with him, relaxing against him, his calloused hands running gently through my fur. I never thought about him in any real sexual sense, but I did see him a trusted ally and a friend; the only one I've ever truly had in this world.

In my reminiscing, I had nearly walked past the cabinet containing the herbs I seek. Smacking myself on the muzzle once for becoming too nostalgic, I turned around and used my nose to find it in the darkness.

Without even opening my eyes, I gripped the small glass knob with my teeth and pulled gently; hearing a satisfying click and the dull groan of the hinges moving. Good thing I've memorized the different blends by scent; I don't want to deal with any type of light right now, my headache just keeps getting worse.

"Let's see, Merisok… no, that's too strong for what I need." I muttered to myself "That anti-pregnancy stuff Shadowbane keeps around…yeah right. Ah, there it is."

With a careful motion, I nudged the other small containers aside; getting a firm grip with my teeth on the one I needed. It felt lighter then usual, _guess someone forgot to restock_. _Oh well, hopefully there's enough to ward off this headache._

I gently tugged the small box free, letting it hit the floor with a small thump. F_or having such short life spans, humans sure can come up with some pretty interesting things._

The box was roughly ten inches square; simply, a clear bottom with a soft pink top. What made it interesting was the rather ingenious method of sealing it; the lid clamped around the boxes sides, creating a seal that would keep water out yet was simple to open, even for a Pokèmon. Begrudgingly, I admit that it is amazing, though sadly ignored by those silly creatures.

A sharp spike of pain brought me back to my task; I slowly pried open one side of the box with my teeth, gripping the clear section in-between my paws. Within seconds, the strong scent of Keradine hit my nostrils, already sending a few traces of relief through my body.

It was at rare times like this that I'm thankful to be around this place; William is big on using herbal remedies for the more mundane things. And, with Shadowbane being the resident herbal expert, I have free access to some extremely powerful medicines; many of them even stronger than those silly human made drugs.

Without hesitation, I pulled a small clump of dried plant out, chewing on it slowly. Soon, the soothing numbness of the drug took effect; blessedly relieving me from this torturous headache.

Now to come up with something that will make Charis concentrate. _Hmm…he keeps bothering me about the freak, so maybe if I promise him to bring it into that realm he'll cooperate. Hah, as if I would ever let it out of confinement._

I'd sooner admit every lie I've ever told then do something as disgusting as that. But, a single lie can give one quite a bit of leverage, especially when it involves something someone desires strongly. And Charis REALLY desires the freak to be with him.

_Heh, I should try that one out tomorrow,_ but for now I really need sleep.

I wandered off, leaving the empty container on top of the cabinet as a reminder before gently pushing it closed, as I went to find somewhere comfortable to lie down.

I was awoken far too early by the sounds of some of the others who live here starting breakfast. _Rrh, why did I choose to sleep in the living room?_

I covered my ears with a pillow, successfully drowning out most of the noise. _Hopefully they'll leave me alone for a bit longer;_ I'm still recovering from that first session with Charis.

"Hey, you awake?" _DAMNIT! Maybe I can ignore them, pretending to be asleep._

It seemed to work, whoever had asked that must have wandered off. _Good. The last thing I really want right now is to deal with any of them; having to pretend to care about their lives, like I was a friend._

Normally I can just go with it, donning one of many masks I wear, and pretend to listen; not really caring. But, today my head still hurts slightly and I have to prepare myself to deal with the crybaby again; _I really regret bothering with him, but I'm bound to it now._

_All I ask, is why it had to be one of Williams' sons that's going to be the second key event? Either fate is playing a really cruel trick on me, or this one will be a real turning point. Either way, it's not like I really have a choice, now is it?_

Once the commotion died down, I slowly let the pillow slide off my forehead, squinting from the bright sunlight streaming in from the nearby window.

The light was both blinding, and comforting, at the same time; a small escape from the darkness of the pocket dimension I had been in only a few hours before. A faint smell of cooking bacon forced me to get up slowly; _might as well have a bite to eat before delving back into my personal hell again, right? _

I followed the smell into the kitchen, trying to ignore my mouth watering at the thought of it. Imagine my surprise and annoyance when I found William sitting in the doorway, levitating a plate of the inviting strips next to him.

"Sorry, didn't know you were awake." I waited for a second before replying, making sure he wasn't trying to read my mind. Sensing no intrusion, I came up with a quick lie.

"Didn't feel like finding a warm place outside." _That'll work. Hopefully he won't keep taunting me with food; just its presence is making me hungry._

"Makes sense… in any case; how goes your work with Charis?" _Oh not great really; your son is a crybaby who is obsessed with a disgusting creature._

"Fine."_ Yeah, so fine that I'm still feeling the residual headache from dealing with him._

"Good, good… oh, sorry; you hungry?" _No duh I'm hungry._

"I could use a bite to eat." _Sometimes I really hate how dense he can be_.

"Go ahead and take what I have; I'll scrounge something up later."

_At least he's good for something; William is the type that will help you out before worrying about himself._ _Almost makes me want to be nice… almost._ Without another word I carefully took the plate from him; bringing it up to my level. I just nodded my thanks and walked past into the kitchen, hoping to at least eat alone.

"Need some company?" _Hell no._

"No thanks, I'd like to take some time to meditate." _And be away from everyone in this place._

"Just holler if you need anything." _Good, he's leaving finally._

Without even waiting for a reply, William turned around and walked off; flicking his tail a few times in annoyance_. Oh well, not like I care what he thinks of me anyway. At least with him gone I can enjoy my guilty pleasure in peace._

I'll admit it, I have a weakness for well cooked bacon; just something about those thin strips of crispy meat is heavenly to me. _Bah, stupid humans and their ignorance to the simple things; who cares about that fancy food they make up, this stuff is the best thing in the world._

I sat down next to the refrigerator, using the large object as cover. _Now I can feast._ The crisp little strips were cooked just right; not too soft and not too brittle.

I finally gave in to my hunger; savagely powering through the plateful, savoring every bite. I was in heaven, the sweet taste melted on my tongue and electrified my taste buds; _one of my guilty pleasures yes, but it's not like anyone knows about it. And, I don't have to worry about my weight; I'm not real. This body is just a solid illusion of myself I use to interact with the physical world._

After licking the plate clean and leaving it in the sink, I left; heading toward back to the same hollow I was in before. That place is often quiet, as few Pokèmon go near it because of the stories about it. All of them are lies spread by me: I wanted a secluded place to meditate in.

It will be so nice to be relieved of this irritating burden and be free to search unhindered. _Well, after that taste of heaven back into hell I guess._ I closed my eyes and began to hum softly, clearing my mind of all thoughts. Soon I fell into a sleep-like state, sending my spirit into the pocket dimension.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

The swirling fog did little to conceal Charis; he was still in the same place, still crying his eyes out. _Rrh, that 'child' is getting to be a real nuisance; guess I should implement my new attack strategy._

"Charis, come over here!" _I'm not about to act nice; just use something he wants to my advantage._

"I have decided to try and bring that… friend of yours here." _More like freak that corrupted you further, but what can you do?_

"You are?" He asked, eyes lighting up at the thought. I turned away for a second to fix my composure; lest I show my disgust.

"Yes, but it will take me time; if you can show me some real progress I'll do everything I can to bring him to you." _Yeah. Bloody. Right._

"Oh, thank you so much!" Charis charged forward, rubbing against me. I pushed him away rather roughly; physical contact is not high on the list of things I like.

"But for now we have much work to do; if you would please sit down and concentrate, we may begin." Charis did as told, this time wearing a stupid smile on his face; probably thinking about doing… things with that abomination.

Guess I shouldn't really care, it's not like they'll EVER see each other again if I have anything to do with it. Once Charis is purified, I'm going to destroy the freaks soul gem and watch in amusement as his soul is cast to the winds; trapped between life and death for eternity.

Whatever Charis was thinking about, it was working; long trails of darkness were floating away from his body, fleeing the powerful positive energy his thoughts were sending through him. It took much less concentration to destroy them; I didn't have to pull them out, simply attack as they fled.

Ahh, it was nice to see this much progress so soon; already I've rid a portion of the surface corruption. Unfortunately, it isn't enough to awaken anything lying dormant within his mind, but it will at least stabilize his condition for now.

"Enough; you have made sufficient progress for now, I shall return later to continue this exercise." _Yeah, and bask in the glory of such a successful lie._

I was just about to leave when I felt Charis' presence behind me. _Great, what does he want now?_

"Can I see Blackwind now?" At the mention of the freak I winced inwardly; _oh how I hate that name._

It took a lot of restraint, but I managed to reply calmly. "No, I still need time to make the preparations." _Maybe I should hack into his mind and erase every trace of thought about that vile creature from it._

"Can you bring him next time?" He asked, looking at me innocently with his blue eyes wide with hope. If I wasn't immune to such foolish emotions it may have affected me.

"… we'll see, but for now just rest and keep thinking about good things." Not willing to give him a chance to keep bothering me, I left with a small pop.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

Slowly I felt my spirit settle back into its physical binds, it was like… waking up from a deep sleep, the feeling of numbness slowly leaving your body as you begin to move, shaking loose the grasp of sleep.

After shaking myself vigorously, I leaned forward and stretched; causing my back to pop a few times. Each one stung for a second, bringing with it a feeling of relief.

My internal clock told me that it was around noon now…great. It's a good thing that William keeps that small green house of berry bushes going all year round, I can grab a quick snack before taking a nap; avoiding contact with anyone.

_Damn, William must have locked it to keep out the Rattata. No matter, it's not a big deal to psionically pick the lock. Just have to envision it in my mind, the simple tumblers clicking into place…_with a soft click, the lock sprung open.

I grinned; _that was too easy._

Pushing the glass door open gently with my nose, I was treated to an array of delicate aromas. The sweet smells of various plants in full bloom mixed with the alluring scent of ripe berries; my mouth watering just standing there.

William already gave me permission to eat any that I liked; not like it mattered. He holds no control over me, even though he thinks that.

After snapping out of my trance, I walked slowly in; taking in the colors and smells slowly, as to not overload my mind. The building was about ten foot square; constructed of steel and special glass windows. It maintained an optimum temperature year round, thanks to the built-in atmosphere monitors; giving me and the other occupants a constant supply of fresh berries and herbs.

I closed my eyes, shutting out the barrage of colors assaulting me; relying on my sense of smell to find what I was seeking again. _Mmm, I just love fresh Rabuta berry, left on the bush to fully ripen. I'm unique around here, because everyone else can't stand them raw; always having to add it to a bowl with other berries mixed in, disgracing its sharp flavor and ruining the experience. I don't really care if anyone else was planning on eating them; I'm here now, hungry, and respectful enough to appreciate its nearly overwhelming taste._

Making sure to close the door behind me, I walked in; following my nose to the ripest one on the bush. It was right there, teasing me with its strong aroma, daring me to bite through its soft skin and partake of its tongue shriveling sour juices.

I was so close I could taste it; my stomach growling at the thought. Without even opening my eyes I shifted forward and bit down; feeling my teeth sink in easily; a bit of juice dribbling down my muzzle. I pulled gently, feeling the small stem resisting for a minute before pulling loose.

The stinging taste overwhelmed me; I rolled my eyes back, opening my mouth just enough to let it fall onto my waiting tongue. It was even better than the bacon; the first dribbles of juice electrified my taste buds, sending a shockwave of pleasure rippling through me, causing my tails to swish slowly in bliss.

I ate my fill, mixing in a few other berries to balance out the sourness. The warmth in here was relaxing; I could feel the sunlight being magnified, shining down upon me and easing away some deep aching in my neck. _I could sit here for hours…maybe I should take a short nap; to recover from dealing with Charis again._

With a wide yawn, I stretched out in a particularly sunny spot and drifted off.

When I awoke several hours later, the sun was setting; casting a hazy glow over the mansion grounds. _And, I was having such a nice dream too. Oh well, might as well go back and work with Charis a bit more; best not to leave him alone too long._

I don't want him figuring out that I'm lying to him; the disappointment would depress him, destroying all the progress I've made. So I reluctantly got up from the cement floor, giving my coat a once over; after all, one should always look their best when working.

With that done, I took one look out the translucent glass, making quite sure that nobody was around before opening the door slowly and stepping out into the morning sunlight.

A blast of cool morning air sent a shiver down my spine. _I really should head back to the manor and make an appearance before settling in to work, but the scents would make meditation easier… screw it._

I turned around and went back into the greenhouse; shutting the door to keep out the cool air. I settled myself in-between two particularly aromatic plants and closed my eyes; letting the delicate fragrances send me into a deep trance…

Once again I returned to my pocket dimension; shivering slightly at the temperature change. The dull blackness was getting quite boring, hopefully it won't take too many more sessions to purify Charis; this is getting quite tedious.

Speaking of which, the little crybaby was sitting quietly a few feet away; muttering something inaudible under his breath.

"Charis, come here." I shouted, making sure that he would hear me. Charis perked up, looking around with a cheerful smile, soon fading into a look of disappointment when he saw I was alone.

"Where's Bla-my friend?" _Good._ He knew not to mention that despicable name in my presence. _At least he learns fast._

"I was unable to finish my preparations in time, but if we make enough progress this session I will bring him with me next time." _Or, at least make you think I will._

Charis began bouncing around happily; shedding more of the darkness within him like it was his winter coat loosening up.

I concentrated on the thin wisps, not even bothering to pull at them; the sheer positive energy Charis got from the thought of seeing his vile friend was strong enough to force them fully into the open. Within minutes, I had cleared a path toward one of the larger pockets of corruption. It wasn't exactly safe, but it needed to be opened up before the difficult work could be done.

Soon though, his happiness began to fade; guess he started missing him more. _Oh well, I've at least uncovered one of the stronger pockets, which should bring some improvement in his current attitude._

"I'm leaving for a bit, and maybe if you keep this up you can leave this place."

"Will you bring my friend next time?" He asked hopefully. _Not a chance in hell._

"We'll see." _Yes, we'll see all right; maybe I won't leave the freaks soul to wander. Maybe I should torture it first._

"Promise?"_ Bah, I never make real promises; they always lead to trouble._

"Yes." I lied through my teeth. _It's_ _so nice that the young will believe just about anything_. But, enough of this irritation, I have much to do.

With a familiar pop, I left this realm.


	8. Hatred and madness

o0o0o0o0o0o0

o0o0o0o0o0o0

The days went by slowly; each time I entered where I kept Charis to work on him, he asked me about it, and every time I came up with a new lie. Problem was, his hope was dwindling; the progress became less and less as he mentally matured.

Then disaster struck.

I entered, preparing my newest lie when I noticed that he hadn't bounded or even walked up; he just sat with his back to me, looking down. Any other time I could have cared less, but the situation was far worse than I could have imagined.

"Charis, get over here." When he ignored me I raised my voice and tried again. Still nothing; Charis has been getting harder to control lately, maybe he thinks that by ignoring my commands he can show some level of defiance.

_Fat chance; if I have to beat him into submission just to finish the job I gladly will, his crying has been grating my nerves from the beginning. Perhaps a small amount of discipline will make him be more serious about this? _

When I approached him though, I stopped in my tracks; the shadowy aura he was giving off sending a chill down my spine.

"Charis, what are you doing?!" I cried in alarm.

The darkness within him was taking over quickly, ravaging his soul and destroying much of the work I had done. Before I could attack however, he turned around; fixing me with a hollow stare.

"You lied to me… you never were going to bring him here…" His monotone was unlike anything I had heard before; all his depression and sorrow had focused into a single force, taking over his still weak mind and plunging him back down into the depths of darkness. A single bloody tear rolled down his cheek, hitting the ground without a sound

"What do you mean, it should only be a few days-" before I could finish, he cut me off.

"You can stop lying now, I know the truth… you hate him… you hate me for loving him… you can't stand that I would choose to be with someone of his persuasion… your hatred has driven you to make my life and his miserable… you care nothing for anyone except yourself … goodbye…" as he spoke, I could sense the shadowy aura getting stronger; threatening to boil over and destroy what little remained of the normal Charis. _Good thing I still have a few tricks left_.

While Charis spoke, I mustered every last bit of energy I could; focusing it into one last ditch effort to stop his self destruction.

When he was only moments from spiritually dying I released the pent up energy; sending a blast of positive emotion directly into Charis, stopping his regression with only a small portion of his mind intact.

_That was too close._

With Charis unconscious, I could take a moment to recover. _God, how had he seen through my lies like that? _Even the insightful William could only unravel the surface of my web.

But, Charis managed to see it all, even the things I didn't let on. _From now on, I have to play it his way; which means…bringing the freak here._

Even the thought of it makes me want to retch; his name made me feel dirty all over. But…it may be the only way to figure out the mystery of what fate has in store for me.

I have much preparation to do; that boost of positive energy I shot him with will only hold for so long. First things first though; I have to devise a way to have it there for Charis to focus on while making sure it stays out of my way.

Probably just threatening to do something horrible to Charis will do it; the freak did die next to him because of its love. _Love, such a useless emotion._

Over the centuries, I've watched as mighty warlords and generals fell to this lethal emotion. I've even used it before; males are so easy to wind around your paw with it. A few sweet words, maybe a friendly gesture here and there and they'll do just about anything for you.

I've left my fair share of broken hearts to suffer in the past; using their blind emotional devotion to acquire that which I desired before dashing their hopes against the rocks of reality, leaving each one broken. It almost brings a tear to my eye… but I can stop laughing before that point.

But back to the problem at hand; I can't stand the freak, but without it I may never cure Charis.

On the one paw, I could 'accidentally' lose Charis to the darkness; but William would find out and there would be hell to pay. On the other, I can bring it into my realm to help Charis; but, that would mean being close to that vile thing.

But, if I bring it there, then I can cure Charis of the darkness corrupting his soul and maybe even force him away from it. _Heh, I like that idea; it's been a while since I got to really verbally tear into another, been kinda missing it._

_That settles it, time to bring the freak in. _

I concentrated hard, a warm sensation not unlike when using a powerful fire attack began to radiate from my body. I called out to his soul gem, pulling his dormant soul out of stasis and manifesting it here.

I looked away as his body took form; I had only seen him once before but that was enough. Everything about him disgusts me, why did that sick bastard Reaper even let him live?_ Oh well, if he hadn't I would be deprived of my new stress relief bitch._

And he has to take it, unless he wants to be banished forever, and I know that will never happen. His blind loyalty to Charis because of such a worthless emotion makes him the perfect whipping stick. _Ahh, just the thought of taking out a few hundred years worth of annoyance on something so deserving is making me feel better already._

Now to wait for Charis to awaken; I could do it myself, but that would require touching him. _Sorry William, but I'd rather risk him fading away then do something like that_. I'm not one for physical contact, least of all from someone who has been defiled.

Contrary to what most people believe, fire types can withstand water, it just has a draining effect on us. That's why I don't immerse myself, ever; I just enjoy the cleansing feeling of the high pressure nozzle caressing my fur. It's like…thousands of tiny fingers running across every part of my body; washing away the dirt and leaving me with a feeling of cleanliness.

Just thinking about is making my skin tingle; I can almost feel the water cascading down my fur… the warmth mixing with my own body heat, relieving me of the days pains… _God I need one bad._

When I heard a dull groan, I snapped out of my daydream; making sure that those two didn't… do anything… together.

I shook myself violently, forcing away the mental images trying to assault me. When I dared to look, the scene that met me was definitely not what I had expected; Charis was lying on top of it, licking the freaks face down while babbling incoherently.

"Charis… what… what happened?" Its voice made me wince; oh how I wanted to silence that… thing, forever.

"Well…I thought we died, but we didn't; which was really cool. Then, there's this mean fox that keeps saying that there's something wrong with me, and that she's the only one that can fix it. She kept us apart, but now you're here." Charis' sheer joy at being with his disgusting friend was amazing; large chunks of the darkness within him was not only forced out, but destroyed by the rush of positive energy. _How…how could he muster so much energy just because of being with it?_

"Charis! Enough!" He stopped his obsessing and looked up at me; his eyes sparkling with happiness._ Rrh, if I could throw up now, I would; just seeing that makes my skin crawl._

"Get off of it this instant!" he complied, still radiating happiness.

"As for you…!" I glared at the black furred freak. "You are only still in this world because I didn't use a small enough soul net."

"But why-"

"SILENCE! You will only speak when spoken to, IS THAT CLEAR!" it just nodded wordlessly, looking about ready to cry. _Good, it knows who's in charge here._

"Good. I only brought you here so that Charis has something positive to focus on; what I do with you when this is over, I, and I alone, shall decide. Do not even think of having any physical contact with him while I am away; I can always see into here, and if you do ANYTHING I don't like, you will be banished to the darkest corner of this existence. Is that clear?" _That part about seeing in while gone is a lie; but he doesn't have to know that._

"Yes…"

"Masaharu to you, scum."

"Yes Masaharu."

"Good, we're on the same wavelength." Now, time to have some fun with him. "While I am here, you will not speak, you will not move, you will not breathe without permission. You only still exist because you are useful to me. I do not like you in any way, and if given reason; I will punish you accordingly."

Without removing my gaze from it, I traced a line along the ground; creating a box about two feet in diameter, just enough for it to sit in by straightening up harshly. _Heh, this should prove most entertaining._

"When I am working with Charis, you are to not interact with him in any way, shape or form. And if you try to leave this set area you will be hit with a mild shock." _Yeah, if a shock strong enough to render a full grown Tauros unconscious in seconds is mild. I can already hear its screams; each shock knocking it back into another barrier. _

"Now, get into your place and stay there filth." It complied, constantly staring forward; not acknowledging me or Charis. It sat down in the designate box, causing the fine line to glow with energy.

"Charis, come over here." Time to start today's work; I have way too much progress to regain. He did as told, looking over with a big smile at the freak before sitting down and closing his eyes without being told. _Good, some of what I've taught him has finally sunken in._

Once the thin strands began floating from his body, I began my work; destroying everything that fled from his positive energy. It was surprisingly easy; I could lazily blast away at the wisps of darkness, where before I had to use a great deal of energy to destroy them.

Somehow being near that freak he likes is giving him newfound strength. _Oh well, more energy for me to devote to stress relief._

"It still puzzles me why Reaper didn't just tear anything like you apart on sight. I know that if I were in his position, you would have met an extremely excruciating death a long time ago." Charis wavered for a second, but a harsh glare set him straight.

"Just allowing one of you to exist is a crime against nature; ridding all forms of society of your filthy ways would make this world a better place." Again he wavered, longer this time. "If I had half a mind, you would find your soul slowly being drained to revive another worthy of existing…"

I continued this tirade for a while, letting off quite a bit of steam on my new whipping stick. Charis kept his focus, though it kept wavering every time I started insulting the cretin. All it took was a harsh glare to get him back on track, but it was annoying. He was taking away precious therapy time.

_It's_ _been too long since I had something to take out all my stress on; this…creature did the job nicely._ It couldn't retaliate or even show any annoyance; the perfect punching bag.

Once Charis had reached the same point of purification as before his collapse, I called for him to stop. What little darkness drifted off of him when he opened his eyes I burned away; leaving his aura much cleaner then before. After debating whether to leave my punching bag in his cage or not, I let it out; only because Charis might relapse if I didn't.

"I'm leaving for a bit, just head my words well." I turned and prepared to exit this dimension when I heard Charis' voice calling to me.

"Thank you for bringing my friend here." He said. Charis actually must believe I did it for him. _Hah, like I would ever do anything for another that didn't have a strong benefit for me._

Without even acknowledging him, I left with a small pop.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

Once the initial numbness wore off I shook myself hard. I could still feel its vile presence on me; _I need that shower. FAST!_

Without even worrying about having to deal with the others, I ran toward the mansion; trying not to throw up. I felt so dirty… actually speaking to something so disgusting… _God I hate it so much. To THINK that it may have done…that to Charis…and even worse…he might have LIKED it. GOD I hate it even more now, I don't have any real interest in Charis' well being, but I will be DAMNED if I let that unnatural thing even lay another paw on him EVER!_

Thankfully the mansion came quickly into view; I could hear the water calling me from here. Without even stopping to check in, I walked quickly through the kitchen, making my way up the stairs and toward the bathroom.

_Good thing nobody was in there at the moment, I need that shower so bad that_ _I can feel the filth crawling on my skin. _Every second it was left unattended, it burrowed into me; tainting my fur with its vile stench.

I stopped grooming myself in the normal way a few years ago, after discovering how wonderful a hot shower felt. The scalding water cleansing every hair…billowing steam clearing out my sinuses…and not having to taste whatever you've been exposed to recently, it's magical…and yet, humans cannot appreciate it.

I pulled open a wall cabinet gently with my teeth, trying my best not to chip a tooth. When the door finally gave and opened, a strong smell of fabric softener nearly bowled me over.

"Mmm, mountain breeze… a bit strong though…" I mused to myself. The smell of fresh towels takes me back; I remember… back in Orre, trying to get the sand out of my fur. It was there that I first discovered showering… oh, how nice it was to feel the grit washing away, slowly massaging a bit of shampoo into my fur to get it out.

I wouldn't let William anywhere near me so I had to do the washing myself. Not that I minded; I refuse to let any Pokèmon, let alone some human hybrid touch me. The only one I ever let that close to me was Kentako, and he's been dead for over 1200 years; and I refuse to be defiled.

I pulled a particularly soft towel out of the cabinet, making sure not to accidentally puncture it. Last time I did, William got pretty mad. I could care less about anything he would have said except he threatened to ban me from using the shower. I grudgingly said a false sorry and he accepted it; he's not hard to please. All I have to do is seem like I feel bad and he softens up. _But, enough reminiscing about fun times, that shower is still calling me._

It's times like this that I'm extremely thankful to have some telekinetic abilities; it's really difficult to turn faucets with only your paws and teeth. _Nearly chipped a tooth trying it that way once._

With a metallic squeak, the knob turned slowly; causing a strong spray of water to erupt from the shower head. I closed my eyes, soaking up the wonderful feeling as the water temperature fluctuated with each turn. Once I had it right, I sat down and let the water do its magic.

I lost myself in the feeling, the water slowly matting down my fur, soaking me to the skin. The heat mixing with my own, causing my body to create clouds of steam… the exhilaration of it all… it was as close to heaven as I could get…

Without even opening my eyes, I brought a bottle of coconut shampoo from a rack next to the wall and dumped a fair amount on my body; rubbing it in slowly. I felt the dirt, leaves and other things that had become matted in my fur loosen, slowly being washed down the drain with a dull sound.

No part of my body went untouched; I had to get every last trace of it off me. I lost myself in the moment, the steam and warmth relaxing me greatly. For one brief moment I felt at peace, free of all the irritation and annoyance that this world has thrown my way. In that moment, I didn't even care about the key occurrences anymore; but, it passed.

After what felt like hours, I turned the water off; letting myself drip for a while before using the towel to dry off; which took a while. I rubbed myself down vigorously, starting from my head and working my way down. Doing so left behind a strong tingling sensation. I shivered slightly, the feeling set off every nerve in my body.

_This was the part I like the most, well… next to the water._ Every time I dried myself off, it left such a feeling of cleanliness; _God I love it._ Once I was sufficiently dry, I tossed the towel lightly onto a wall mounted hook and shook myself. My fur felt like silk again; such a nice feeling.

After giving myself a once over to smooth out my fur, I took a look into the mirror to check for missed spots. The reflection that stared back was depressing; due to my extreme age upon soul binding, my fur is graying in patches, giving me a slightly decrepit look. I also still bear the scars from my masters' killer; a blade wound running the length of my right side from foreleg to tails, along with my eighth and ninth tails missing.

I stared into my own green eyes, seeing a look of weariness and age in my reflection. With a sigh, I kept staring for some reason. Looking at my reflection, I began to doubt my actions.

_Am I really in the right?_ "Of course I am; that freak is only useful as a tool to get Charis to focus."

_And using Charis, along with others that value me as a friend is right as well_? "Yes. Friendship, loyalty and even love are simple, fleeting emotions that will only lead to destruction."

_You didn't think that back in the Feudal days._ "That was then, but now my eyes are open to the truth; everyone dies, making friends is only a temporary thing; a waste of what little time most have in this world."

_Did losing the one you cared about bring this on?_ "Yes. Kentakos' untimely demise made me realize how pointless it is to become attached to others. You can only rely on your own instincts and abilities in this world."

_Then how do you expect to find all six key occurrences without the help of others?_ "Hmph, I found two already on my own."

_One was by luck and the other because of the first._ "Maybe so, but I did detect them with my own abilities alone."

_And what do you plan to do when you finally get your answer?_ "Go with it."

_Even if you don't like where it takes you?_ "Fate is inevitable, many think that things happen because of chance, luck or other such things. No, everything that happens in this world happens for a reason, even if we don't understand why at the moment."

_Then you may never understand…_ "Tauros shit."

I turned away, growing quite annoyed from arguing with myself like that. I should never doubt myself; I've survived far too long in this world to do so now. My stomach growled, guess I should get something to eat before taking a nap. _Eh, I'll work on Charis tomorrow._

Morning came all too soon. The warm sunlight was streaming in through the greenhouse windows, a particularly bright beam shining on my head. With a groan I sat up, at least I could wake up to the lovely fragrance of blooming flowers. The delicate scents helped bring me to a sense of calm, something I'm about to need; it's time to continue work on Charis. Ugh, just the prospect of it sickens me; it means being close to **it** again. After a few deep breaths, I felt up to it; so with a sigh, I closed my eyes and drifted off into a deep trance.


	9. Awakening

o0o0o0o0o0o0

o0o0o0o0o0o0

Once I adjusted to being back, I noticed that Charis and the freak were quite close. I growled softly, alerting them to my presence; I give Charis a bit of credit though, he wasn't making the slightest physical contact with that vile creature. They must have been talking, _not enough of a crime to warrant… much punishment… for now. _

I took a moment to read his aura, finding it was a bit further than before; _was he healing even while I was gone? No, I must have left enough energy behind to cause this. _

"Charis, come over here; it's time to begin." He did as instructed, and the cretin didn't even have to be told what to do. It just walked over to the box and sat straight; staring forward. _Good, I won't even have to acknowledge him this time._

"Now, I need you to focus on even stronger memories; with the superficial portion of the evil destroyed, it will take much more to force the deeper parts to the surface." And I didn't want to do all the work anymore; he's proven more than capable of forcing it out himself. _All I have to do is finish it off._

That should give me enough time to relieve a bit more stress on my whipping stick. Once Charis closed his eyes and began to concentrate, I nonchalantly burned away any of the darkness that fled his body; paying more attention to my insults.

"I miss the old days, back in feudal times if you didn't fit the standards of society you were killed. Oh, I remember well the executions, excruciating would be a good term for it; usually the criminal had his genitals cut off by the executioner, forced to eat them before meeting their demise at the bladed justice of a sword." Charis frowned as if wanting to say something.

"Those were the days; when you didn't have to fear your bloodline being marred by anything out of the ordinary; so many times I wished I could be the executioner; to tear them apart, savoring their hot blood running down my fur, doing my part to maintain order." Again, Charis faltered; longer this time.

"Is there something you wish to say?" I asked, walking over and placing my nose inches from his.

"No, Masaharu." Good, he knows his place. A loud shock followed by a howl of pain told me that the scum had slipped up. _Oh, his cries of pain were music to my ears; how I relish the thought of hearing them fade as I tear his soul to pieces._

"Good, now keep concentrating; at this rate you should be cured within a week." _Yeah. Cured of more than just the darkness infecting you. I could see it now, reworking his memory to forget ever knowing that scum just before sending it to its demise._

"It wasn't much better for those found forced into such unnatural things." I said loudly, walking away to continue my tirade. "Though they were spared the blade, they were beaten severely and marked as such for life. Such a light punishment too, I would have-" I stopped mid sentence; _was Charis growling at me?_

I walked back over, keeping a level head.

"Charis, were you growling at me?" He looked up, fixing me with an intense stare. The look in his blue eyes was mixed; he was still quite scared of me, as it should be; but there was something else…it was hatred, but not in a negative way… which puzzled me.

_Hmph, like I really care; he lives only because he still has use to me, and he should never forget that._ I turned away and walked off, flicking my middle tail at him in annoyance. If he even THINKS of opposing me, he'll find out just how powerful I really am.

I went back to my tirade, ignoring the look Charis had fixed me with. The darkness was still being forced out of his body, but his aura had changed slightly. _Was he getting older? Possibly; with so much of the corruption gone, it may be freeing up lost memories and mental age that the cancerous evil had infected. Bah, no matter; if it does free up memories all it will do is make him realize just how vile a creature that cretin is._

Once the corruption had been eliminated from the first quarter of his mind, I felt the fatigue of working on him hit; that, combined with the growing feeling of filth around me sealed the deal. I told him that I would be back later to continue working on him before vanishing with a small pop.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

Once again I lost myself taking a hot shower; just being in my own pocket dimension with that… thing left me feeling disgusting. The hot water soothed my nerves, leaving me feeling refreshed. But, it bothered me at the same time; feeling such a strong need to clean myself up two days in a row? _Maybe there's something more to this than just an odd feeling…_

I looked at the shampoo I had used. Yep, normal shampoo; not one of Thanos' tricks. I shuddered when a particularly unpleasant memory surfaced. Thanos had added a nasty dye to one of the bottles, probably intending for William to use it. Unfortunately, his little prank got me instead; I would have killed him if it had been hard to get rid of. _I refuse to go around with pink fur!_

After drying off, I hung the towel up again and was ready to leave when I stopped. _Something wasn't right, I felt… like I hadn't done everything…_ I looked into the mirror, staring at my reflection; that must be it; I had forgotten to groom my fur down

_Ah, you're back again?_ "Shut up, I'm just getting myself in order."

_And yet you're just staring at yourself._ "Just making sure to note all the trouble spots."

_Oh? And that look Charis gave you has nothing to do with it?_ "Hell no, he was just experiencing a bit of relapse from regaining lost memories."

_And your constant attack on the one he loves isn't the cause_? "Loves? Hah. The cretin corrupted him further; I'm just taking out a bit of stress on it before Charis is healed."

_Still you fail to understand the true power of love._ "Power? Hah, it's just a detrimental emotion that leads to nothing but pain and misery."

_Are you speaking from opinion… or experience?_ "I've never loved anyone in my life."

_Not even Kentako?_ "I liked him as a friend only, never anything more. Now leave me alone, I need some rest." I turned away from my reflection, feeling quite fatigued. That last session really took a lot out of me and the only thing I want to do is take a long nap.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

Again I awoke to the sweet smell of flowers in bloom, but now it didn't do much for me. The stress of eradicating that darkness combined with a really strange dream has my mind occupied.

_That dream… _I felt exactly the way I do when scrying the threads of fate,_ but why?_ _Was it a warning, a premonition, or something else?_

Whatever it was, it had been much too real to be a normal dream_. Something about the voice I had heard… it was so familiar… but I couldn't remember who it was._ _Bah, all these distractions; something is interfering with my search. And when I find out what it'll be hell to pay!_

Putting those thoughts aside, I indulged myself in a few berries before wandering toward the mansion to find myself something else for breakfast; seeing as a few berries did little to satisfy my hunger.

Along the way, I kept thinking back to what my reflection had said. '_S_till you fail to understand the true power of love.'?

_What power, other than bending those who fall prey to it to your will. Could my prejudice be blinding me to the truth? NO! I learned to control my attitude a long time ago and even though I may refer to others as commoners, I don't act upon opinions alone. And when it comes to that cretin, I know that I'm in the right; it and those like it should be hunted down and exterminated._

I entered the kitchen, not really watching where I was going and nearly trampling Dracoris. Great, now I may have to deal with Charis' irritating younger brother. I was about to try and come up with something to say when he took one look at me, sputtering out a quick apology before running off toward the living room.

_Wonder what that was about?_ Oh well, not having to deal with him is reason enough not to question it. _Wonder what leftovers there are today?_

With a gentle pull, I opened the fridge door. Blegh_, guess they ordered out again. Oh well, it doesn't smell bad, just looks bad. With that, I pulled out a plate of something quite unidentifiable and downed it; barely tasting the food._ Not bothering to lick it off, I less then gently dumped the plate in the sink and went out for a stroll; I need to clear my head a bit before dealing with Charis again.

The path I followed wound through the thicker parts of the woods; away from the main mansion. It probably went through Shadow paw territory but that didn't matter; they knew not to mess with me.

No…what bothered me was the lingering doubt that something is wrong… Charis is healing nicely; the darkness is being forced out of him at a steady pace, I've kept that freak miserable, and yet… _something is missing…_ I continued on, lost in my thoughts. What am I missing?

"Found ya!" I leapt into the air, spinning around mid flight to face whoever shouted behind me; ready to send his head rolling. I eased up slightly when I recognized who it was; I'd know those steel gray eyes anywhere.

Damitri, the Mightyena who leads the Shadow paws. He's from Shadowbanes' litter, a well built Mightyena with an outgoing personality._ Easy to like if you can get past his gruff exterior… Damnit, NOW I remember why I rarely walk down this trail; he keeps mistaking me for Tatakichi, every time either getting a bit friendly with me or, like now for instance, scaring me._

"Piss off." I normally would have been a bit nicer, seeing as he's the Shadow paws leader; but I'm not in the mood right now.

"Sorry Kitsu, guess I mixed the two of you up again?" _Damn right you mixed us up again! You're lucky to even be standing here you nearsighted idiot!_

"Please note that I am missing only two tails while she is missing five. Also, for the time being I am wearing a pair of earrings that are quite easy to identify."

"I just… we were playing a game of predator/prey and I just…" _mistook me for your Bitch?_

"Got caught up in the emotion?"

"Yeah… that's it." idiot.

"Please take care in the future to make sure you know who you are leaping toward." _Because next time, you may have to limp away._

"I will; and give my regards to William for me." _Hell no._

"I'll make sure to." _Thank God he's leaving; any longer and I may have had to actually start a conversation with him, not a fun prospect._ I watched him walk off into the forest, tail held high. _Rrh, if he wasn't related to her… _

Once he was a sufficient distance away I pressed on; now with another thing bothering me. Great, all this walk has done so far is wear me out a bit and bring more annoyances my way. _Oh well, such is fate I guess; sometimes kind and sometimes harsh, yet inevitable either way. _

As I continued on, the sun began setting; casting ribbons of light through the darkening forest. _Guess I should at least get a bit more progress with Charis done, no sense in wasting the day completely._

I found a nice tree to settle in by, a fallen pine with a maze work of roots; an easily defendable position for me. With a few grunts and curses, I got myself settled in nicely; using the twisting roots to make a sort of cage around myself. I then closed my eyes and fell back into a deep trance.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I was back in my personal hell again; the stench of the freak had permeated every corner of it already. I walked around for a bit, trying to get a good angle to spy on the two of them; _maybe I would catch it breaking my rules, giving me a reason to administer a more… fitting punishment._

The omnipresent mist that covered the ground in this realm served as excellent camouflage; I brought it up a few feet in the entire area, allowing me to slink forward undetected. When I got close enough, I stuck my head just above the fog, nearly shouting in frustration at what I saw.

Still they were just talking; the vile creature was three feet away from Charis. I could see that…loving look it kept giving Charis, though I could hear the defeat in his voice. _Good, once his will to try is broken, it will be a simple task to turn Charis toward my thinking. _

"What are you doing!?" I yelled, rising quickly from my hiding spot. The freak panicked and ran to its cage; not looking back once. Charis on the other hand fixed me with that same odd stare before walking stiff legged to the cretins' side.

I bared my teeth at his retreating figure; the sheer nerve to turn his back on ME. Holding back a snarl, I wordlessly moved into position and settled in for the day's work.

Without even being told, Charis began to focus; immediately forcing more strands of darkness from his body. I ignored him for a bit, preferring to check for regression first.

"Charis, what is the meaning of this?" Somehow, another section of his mind had been freed… one that I had been purposely avoiding. _Was he treating himself now?_

"I simply applied the same energies you were using on myself while you were gone, _Masaharu_." The impudence in his voice was unmistakable.

I chose to ignore it… for now, _but if he continues I shall not punish him; rather take it out on his… friend… gah, just thinking about that makes me feel like retching._

"It is good that you are taking an active interest in your healing process, but you must wait for me to be here. It is a dangerous process, and I would hate for you to do yourself harm due to inexperience.". _To make sure you're not doing… other types of healing techniques._

"Yes Masaharu." The impudence was gone, replaced by flatness. Too bad he didn't press his luck; I could really use a reason to hurt his filthy friend more than emotionally. Maybe I should step up my tirades?

"Such a vile thing, to corrupt another; guiding them down the same disgusting path that you walk." I paused, looking over at the vile creature I was referring to. If he heard me, he gave no sign of it; standing rigid and not daring to breathe too deeply. _Good, it knows its place well._

"And what's worse, the one sent astray losing himself in it; choosing to follow that path blindly." _Was I imagining it or was Charis ever so faintly curling his lip at me?_

"And, to think, starting off life in a good home only to be brought down a dark path by a dark creature-" A faint growl came from deep within Charis; guess my words got to him. _Oddly enough, the look in his eyes never changed; just grew more intense. _

"Do you have something to say to me? Are my words _offending_ you?" _I just dare you to say yes, give me a reason to introduce the cretin to a new level of pain._

"No, Masaharu. If I did, you would simply take it out on my friend." _How did he know that?_

"And what makes you say that?" I asked in a silky voice. _If I can't bully him as easily, maybe I can appeal to his…male instincts._

"Because you are too afraid to attack me directly; you might ruin your plans for me." _What the hell?! How is he seeing through my plans so well? I never even __**hinted**__ at having any such motive, yet he knew. _

"And just what _are_ my plans for you?" I maintained that silky voice, fighting hard not to show my panic.

"As of yet I don't know." I breathed a silent sigh of relief at that "However, I do know that you care nothing for me; the way you've been treating me and my friend has been befitting more of a tyrant than a godmother."

_Guess my theory about the memories are right._ A quick scan told me that a much larger portion of his mind was freed… _Wait a minute, when did that happen? We've only been here for a little while._

"I see that your memory is slowly returning, along with your maturity." I added the last part to rattle him; his voice was changing slightly, growing deeper. His manner of speech also was changing; _I guessed he was around adolescence now._

"Yes, but my senses have remained sharp as ever." _Damn it, my perfect plan is beginning to unravel. Guess I have to hold off punishing the cretin… for now._

"Seeing as you have made a large amount of progress, I shall leave you two alone." I turned and walked slowly away; preparing to leave when Charis' voice rang out again.

"Please try and understand, you can heal the damage that Reaper has done, but you can never change the decisions I have made on my own." _We'll see about that… _with a small pop, I left.


	10. Acceptance

o0o0o0o0o0o0

o0o0o0o0o0o0

"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" Normally I refrain from such vulgar language, but this situation is getting out of hand fast_._

_Ever since Reapers' fall my life has been spiraling down. First being trapped in a physical form and now Charis actually making threats to me. TO ME! He had the nerve to threaten me. NOBODY THREATENS ME! God I need something to calm my nerves._

I freed myself from the wooden prison and walked back toward the mansion; unhindered by the inky blackness of night.

My mind was racing; _if Charis realized what I was doing, he might rebel. And, if that happens, he might actually self destruct, setting me back quite a ways and leaving a very nasty explanation to his father to lie about; both of which I didn't want._

I needed advice… as much as it pains me to admit it… _but who?_ _Everyone in the mansion is either too inexperienced in such matters or asleep, leaving me with…no… _

I quickened my pace, feeling my earrings strike against my head as I ran hard.

The area was dark, save for a few small lights illuminating a small path in front. I ran up to the back door, not bothering to knock before I opened it and entered in a rush; at least thinking enough to close it behind me.

From there I rushed upstairs, back to the last place I would have expected to look for advice.

_I thought you would return. _

I stared at my reflection for a while, still feeling like an idiot for talking to a mirror. And yet… on the other side of that looking glass… somehow it knew me better than I knew myself.

"Yes I returned; everything is falling apart. Charis is somehow seeing through my web of deceit, I'm currently resisting the urge to shower **again, **and to top it all off, I'm talking to myself."

_Sometimes stopping and looking oneself over can be the best way to find the answers one seeks._ "Stop speaking in riddles and make some fucking sense."

_Now, now; one should always watch ones language; it's undignified to speak like that._ "I don't care; all I want now is for this waking nightmare to be over."

_Is that what you truly want?_ "Yes it's truly what I want; and you bloody well know that."

_Very well then… when Charis is fully healed, all will become apparent to you._ "You mean I have to suffer through that living hell for longer?

_If you wish to find your answer; yes._ "Just fucking great."

_Please watch your tone; the others are trying to sleep._ "Why the hell should I care about them?"

_Because, they care about you and you should do the same_. "Why the hell would I care about mortals?"

I stared into my reflection for a while, getting no response. I huffed and left; grumbling to myself the entire time. Wishing nothing but to drown out the thoughts plaguing me, I broke into Karakofs' private stash of vodka and stole a bottle; taking it with me back to my meditation spot.

I've never had any of what humans call 'liquor', always finding the smell to be quite revolting. But the way it made Karakof stumble around the mansion singing off key in some foreign language told me that it had some very powerful numbing effect, so I sucked up my pride and tried it.

It felt like my mouth was on fire; the vile stuff burned my tongue and nostrils. I spit out the mouthful, gagging a few times. How any living thing could ever drink such a disgusting… _whoa…_

Whatever was in it took effect.

I felt a bit warmer than usual, _wonder what would happen if I finish the bottle?_ After taking a few deep breaths, I lifted it to my mouth again, taking a fairly large drink…

I woke up with a massive headache; every little sound sent another shot of pain through my aching skull. Even thinking too hard hurt, so I just lay… wherever I am and tried to relax.

"Good, you're awake." _That voice… it was so familiar… _

"Master?" My question was met with soft laughter.

I turned my head slowly toward the sound; squinting my eyes in the blinding light. All I could make out was a pale gray blob. "Who…?"

"Don't try to speak; you still have a massive hangover." _Hangover? What the… OW… damn headache. I can't even remember what happened… how long have I been out?_

"All day yesterday and part of today; you stumbled in about six A.M. yesterday smelling like a distillery and babbling incoherently. We thought you had eaten a few overripe berries, but when Karakof noticed the bottle floating behind you we knew."

"Did I… make a nuisance of myself?" _Great, now I've lost what dignity as a Masaharu remained._

"Quite the contrary; once we gave you a bit of medicine to lessen your inebriation you were quite sociable. I must say, I never knew that you were involved in the Kerashin war." _Crap, just what DID I do during the blank spot in my memory? Hopefully nothing bad._

"Don't worry, we all made sure you stayed… civil." _That's good to know… _

"Heh, maybe I should let up a bit, y'know; socialize?"

William only smiled softly, thankfully my vision cleared so I could see that it was friendly. "You know and I know that's not true; and I don't have to be a psychic to tell. The thought is nice, but it's not in your nature to warm up to us 'mortals'."

_If I was in any condition to, he would have paid for that; but right now my head feels as if it's about to split in half._

"You need to rest for a while, you drank an entire bottle of Vodka in one go, a feat even Thanos couldn't have done." _Heh, guess something came of my dabbling in human concoctions. _

I yawned and laid my head down, letting sleep claim me once again.

When I awoke again, night had fallen; _guess I was out all day._

The mansion was silent, and better yet my headache was gone_. Now…time to finish the job with Charis… though I could use a bit of a courage booster…_

I got up slowly, making my way quietly over to where the Vodka was stashed. _This time though, I'm going to drink only enough to give me some confidence. _

With a small click, the lock on the cabined opened; allowing me access to the foul tasting drink. I carefully removed one of the finely made glass bottles and downed a good eighth of its contents in one gulp. An overwhelming feeling to retch came over me for a second, but passed quickly.

After my stomach settled, I downed a bit more before replacing the stopper and placing the bottle back into the cabinet. I also made sure to replace the lock, don't want anyone knowing just yet. After a few minutes, the same feeling overcame me; I felt more relaxed, so I closed my eyes and dropped into a deep trance, hiccupping once before fading out.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

_Okay, time to finish this job once and for all._

I didn't even bother saying anything; they both knew what to do now. The freak went right to his place while Charis followed behind; fixing me with an intense stare. I stared right back, Unphazed by him.

"Now… hic, I'm not bothering to put up the shock field because I trust that it no longer needs motivation to sit still. Also…" I paused; _Charis' mind was nearly freed of corruption: only the core remained intact. Perfect, I can finish this in one go._

"We should be done today so hic we can all go our separate ways and be happy."

"More like you help me but punish my friend for something he can't help." Charis muttered. I ignored it for now; _I was…feeling kinda woozy but good._

"You know the drill, and so do I; let's get this done." Charis didn't even close his eyes as he focused; destroying another chunk of darkness without me doing anything. _Good, time to have one last stress relief session._

"You know hic if YOU had been my kit, I would have killed you and burned your corpse the second I even suspected you were gay. Not only that, I would piss on the ashes to show my hic contempt for you Blackwind. Hell, I should do that now-"

"STOP IT!" I turned, looking at the three Charises in front of me. The look of fury they were giving me struck me as odd.

"What-what did you just say to me?" His sudden outburst was awakening the rational part of my mind; slowly the haze was from the alcohol was clearing.

"I told you to stop attacking MY mate for something he has no control over." _Hah, now I have my excuse to teach him a real lesson-wait, what was that aura coming off of Charis?_

"And what are you going to do about it, huh? Gonna call on daddy to help hic you out? Or maybe-"

"Shut up you heartless, manipulating, racist bitch!" His words tore through my defenses; causing my normal stone-faced mask to drop.

"WHAT did you just call me?!"

"A heartless, racist, manipulating bitch." I just stared at him.

Never had anyone had the audacity to call me any of those names; especially not a bitch. I could feel a strong surge of energy welling up within me; I was going to strike both of them down here and now. _The hell with the key occurrence, another would come along eventually_.

"NOBODY CALLS ME A BITCH!" I unleashed a long beam of blue energy, my eyes glowing the same color. It streaked toward the freak, burning away the fog as it went. It struck dead on, exploding with a thunderous boom. "

"Hmph, so much for you then-what?" When the light died down, the cretin was unharmed; shaken but unharmed. "But how…?" I answered my own question when I looked over at Charis. His aura was pulsing, blue flames licked at his body; the same kind that were shielding the freak.

"You… NEVER attack Blackwind; your battle is with me." His aura flared, sending more ethereal flames off of his body. I could sense the core darkness being forced from the deepest recesses of his heart. "You tried to use me… take me away from Blackwind… break my mind and form it how you wanted… and you failed." _Just a bit closer…_

"What do you see in that freak of nature anyway?" _Come on, come on… come to the surface…_

"You would never understand."

"Is it because he fucked you, is that it? Do you feel a devotion to the one that robbed you of your innocence? Or did you fuck him?" His thoughts and devotion were fueling his rage; pumping a pure stream of positive energy through his body.

"No… you still don't understand do you?"

"You've fallen into his trap; he's sucking you down, bringing you to his level. Why are you still defending him?"

"Because I love him… I love him with every fiber of my being…and I know he loves me in return…" _NOW!_

Charis doubled over in pain, collapsing to the ground in a fit of spasms. _The pain he's in must be excruciating: suffering caused by a chunk of energy being torn from the depths of his mind. _

It's a necessary step, though a small part of me wishes it could be done more humanely. _It's probably just the liquor talking, though._

With a powerful spasm that should have snapped his spine in two, a single sphere of darkness roughly the size of a golf ball, trailing a few thin wisps came loose from Charis.

I quickly refocused, shattering the orb and freeing Charis from its grasp. It was satisfying to watch as the thin wisps of energy dissipated, devoid of their collective strength and left to the merciless emptiness of this realm.

Through it all, the thing… Blackwind remained motionless. I have no doubts that my words finally sunk in far enough to break him, yet something tells me that Charis will be much more difficult to manipulate. For being rash and prone to stupid decisions… his will is harder than steel.

I will likely regret doing it, but I need some time to compose myself and try to devise a new angle of attack. Charis will not break, but much like metal he can and will be bent to my views. Even if it takes every last ounce of power I have. _I will NOT stand by as another falls to the sickening allure of… of their kind._

"Don't worry; since Charis is cured my rules no longer apply."

"What do you want? Come to banish my love for what he is? Because if you have, send me with him; I refuse to leave his side." _Such strong devotion… is love really that strong?_

"I'm not going to do that… I just came to tell you that I will be gone for a week; I need to prepare the ritual to restore you both back to life." Charis kept his laser-like stare fixed on me while Blackwind acted as if neither of us existed.

"During that time, you will remain here. And unfortunately for me, the preparation requires that both of you are kept in an active state, so I am forced to leave you here unsupervised. But be warned: I have ways of monitoring you, and if I do not like what is happening…" I let the threat hang, hoping that Charis would be a fool and challenge me.

He simply have me a small not, turning away and walking toward his… toward him. _Hmph, there is still much to be done…_

I turned away as well, trying to banish the image of Charis licking Blackwind's cheek so tenderly, and vanishing with a small pop…

To be continued…


	11. Fractured: Wounded road

Disclaimer: all characters, places, and recognized names are copy write their respective owners. Anything else is mine, so please don▓t be a thief; Shadowbane doesn▓t appreciate it.

Beginning anew

Italicized words are thoughts

⌠Why won▓t you talk to me? Did I do something to make you mad?■ The endless blackness stretched out all around me, a plane of emptiness where no pain is felt, where all thought and feeling is stripped bare for the world to see.

⌠-lonely, but at least I have-■ And here I sit, awaiting the inevitable punishment that my crimes have earned me.

⌠-wish you would say something, it▓s-■ Time is lost in this world: a minute or a day I can▓t tell, only the constant sound of the only other anything here reminds me that it it▓s still moving forward.

⌠-please? Come on, let▓s play-■ Time moved on without me: a blur of red, cream and hazy gray swirling in a rush of blurry motions. Charis running around, grumbling, and possibly nudging me: none of it mattered.

⌠-not hungry, though this place is kinda-■ I was alone, isolated within my box and forgotten by the outside world. It was better that way, lest my existence be a continued blight on a bright world; just a smudge waiting to be rubbed away.

⌠-little brother is okay. I was so-■ The fog swirled around my legs, leaving the ground invisible beneath a thin gray blanket. No wind blew, only the motions of Charis, and my own breathing moved the haze, disturbing the stillness and breaking up the smooth surface of the realm I▓m in.

⌠-sister was a bitch, but that doesn▓t-■Why?

⌠-miss him, despite being bullied-■ Charis talked on and off, mostly to himself as there wasn▓t much else to do. It became just another part of the realm: an off and on sound with little meaning, aside from reminding me that I still exist.

⌠-if dad even cares about me, as-■ His voice became a drone, blending into the very air in the realm, losing its purpose.

⌠-I really hope she doesn▓t try anything more, because-■ *sigh* Why doesn▓t it end? Is this part of my punishment, to remain conscious when I deserve nothing more than the eternal torment my actions have earned me?

⌠-talk at all? It▓s really bor-■ Or, have I already passed on: a transition from the pain of existing when nobody wants me, to enduring the emptiness of death?

⌠-start playing with your tail, if you-■ I shouldn▓t be here┘ I▓m nothing but a waste of a soul, a thing that should be banished from this world.

⌠-on, this isn▓t funny anymore. Please-■ Maybe that▓s my punishment: to hear the whispers of the only one who cared I was alive, but unable to be with him for my attractions were unnatural.

⌠-I▓ll just keep myself entertained-■ I twisted him, turning what was once innocent into another like me┘ another perverse being walking on borrowed time, hiding from the world, until he finds another, and then continues the broken cycle.

⌠-long we▓ve been here? It doesn▓t-■ He rarely stopped talking, the sound of his voice like a distant cry across the barren landscape, just a memory of the sound that made me feel so happy┘

⌠-should be out of here soon. I can▓t-■ If only I could go back, if only I could stop myself from committing that fatal sin, then maybe┘ maybe┘ what▓s the point?

⌠-wouldn▓t dare, not with how dad-■ The love I felt wasn▓t real, just a sick part of my stained being trying to corrupt another into the despicable attraction I was born with.

⌠-boring sitting here with nothing to-■I hurt him, changing what could have been a loving mate for a deserving female into a broken creature: one beaten into thinking like me, even saying he loves the one who ruined his life┘ his chances at real love.

⌠-love you still, you know that-■ She▓s right┘ her words and actions are far more than I deserve: Charis doesn▓t need me; Masaharu should cleanse him of our time together, give him a clean slate and set him on a new path.

⌠-want to be loved, even though-■ The months he spent trapped within the Black fangs is a cancer in his life that should be removed, stripping away the last piece of infected flesh and leaving behind what still has a chance at a normal life.

⌠-ticklish, yet so soft at the same-■ I want to┘ I want to be normal, like him. Why would whatever form of God that is out there curse me with being a freak?

⌠-for letting her bully you. I should-■ It wouldn▓t end: the jumble of chatter, and the constant reminder of what I had done┘ it hung around me like a sickly cloud, forcing me to remember everything I had done again and again, in an endless cycle┘

⌠-up now┘-■ Is there even a place for me in hell? Or have my twisted desires pushed beyond the brink of even that? I just┘ I want to live; to feel wanted, to┘ to be normal like I was before┘ before┘

This world┘ this realm┘ it is where I belong: away from the sight of others, and left to wander endlessly. A place where I can do no harm, where the world can move forward without my existence corroding what normality is left┘

Wait, something▓s different┘

Silence surrounded me; even the fog had settled into a thin blanket of gray and white┘ Charis? I could feel him staring at me, those brilliant blue eyes boring into my own deep red ones, trying to force their way beyond the curtain of sorrow around me┘

His stare┘ those eyes┘ why do they continue to hold such warmth? Have I corrupted him so badly that he cannot see me for what I am? Or, is he trying to trick me┘ to draw me out and destroy what Masaharu left behind?

I stayed still, unwilling┘ no, unable to will my body to even twitch. It was as if an unseen force had clamped down upon me, rendering even the simplest motions impossible┘ a small voice within me cried out, but was lost to the whimpers┘ the pleas┘ the begging┘

It doesn▓t make sense. He has every right in the world to hate me, yet┘ the stare meeting my own frozen gaze was one of longing┘ of sadness. *sigh* Even now my existence is hurting him, freezing out his happiness in a wave of frigid silence.

No┘ no┘ I don▓t want to hurt him anymore┘ I want to be freed of this curse┘ I want┘ I want to earn his love, the warmth of his touch, the caring I▓ve longed for┘ why can▓t I be rid of this disease?

Neither of us moved: I was trapped in place by fear, and he┘ Charis just sat there, staring at me with an unblinking gaze┘ his eyes flashing with a mixture of emotions: sadness, longing, worry, and┘ and a love I don▓t deserve.

I could have sworn something was stirring, despite both of us standing still┘ something was around us, but I just couldn▓t place a paw on it. Love┘ kindness┘ do I truly deserve these things, or were they a forbidden emotion, snatched from the innocent, and frail heart of another? The clinging fog surrounding us stirred, as if touched by the weakest of breezes; the clouds thinning, patches of ground suddenly visible through the haze.

He was there, staring with an unblinking gaze that seemed to peer into the very depths of my corroded soul┘ Kindness┘ even after all the physical pain, and emotional torment I caused┘ could it be real?

I wanted to scream, to run until I collapsed from exhaustion, to tear at my own flesh and bone, just to know if it was real┘ He couldn▓t love me┘ I hurt him, I used him┘ but, maybe┘ just maybe his feelings were real?

The veil clung to my fur, keeping my still despite how much I struggled: the unseen force refusing to relent, even as I mentally struggled┘ I want to chance it┘ to know once and for all how he feels┘ Masaharu is gone, and he┘ can he lie in this realm?

Muscles pulled against one another, as if my body was fighting against itself to stay still. Mind, body, and soul: all pulling in opposite directions┘ I┘ I want to know, even if he hates me┘ to know the truth is more important than my useless feelings┘

Bone ground against bone, ligaments strained against one another, muscles protested: all falling upon deaf ears. Muscle gave way to sheer force of will, as I slowly forced my jaw to open┘ Charis┘ I can do this┘ I▓m stronger than her┘ I can-

⌠As I promised, you were *hic* given a week alone. I suppose that you are ready to┘ whoa... return to the physical plane?■ That voice┘ I shivered inwardly, wanting nothing more than to curl up into a ball and fall through whatever constituted as a floor in this realm.

⌠I take it that our week is up.■ She▓s back┘ The coldness of isolation closed in on my again, shutting out the last cries of whatever was inside me, leaving me dead to the world again. The fog washed over me once more, all but removing Charis from sight.

⌠Yes, yes; your week to fuck┘ or talk┘ whatever it is you freaks do. I don▓t really care.■ 'Help┘ me┘' I could feel the loathing radiating from her, the pure malice that clung to her form like a crimson cloak.

⌠We just talked; something I doubt you▓re capable of without speaking lies.■ 'Charis┘' Lies┘ truth┘ it▓s all meaningless words in the end. Only our actions: the things we do with our lives matter┘ and I▓ve done nothing but cause pain and confusion┘

⌠Right┘ but enough for now; the preparations are complete, but I have something to talk about in private.■ 'Away┘ take me away┘' In private, where they can discuss how best to erase my damage from him, and how best to dispose of me┘

⌠Anything you have to say to me you can say with Blackwind here.■ 'Please...' It would be best for me to hear it, as then I can know just how fitting my punishment is to be, to hear her malign laugher as my body and soul are torn apart

⌠Not really┘ this is a bit personal, and his presence may alter your answer.■ 'I want┘ I┘' My presence, the very thing that changed him from someone with a future, into another like me┘ a filthy thing not even a mother could stand the sight of┘

⌠┘ Fine, I▓ll trust you, but if you harm him in any way┘ I will find a way to make you suffer.■ 'I want you┘' Have I suffered enough, or is the misery of existence only beginning? Will I be sent to whatever form of hell awaits me?

⌠You have my word that he will only be returned to his soul gem.■ 'To┘ to love┘' Or, will I simply be set to the winds, a disembodied spirit cursed to relive my sins every day of my unholy existence? To endure the suffering my actions have earned?

⌠Like your word means anything.■ 'To love me┘ love me like┘' I am nothing, just a soul that should not have been brought into this world. A waste of flesh and bone that has done nothing with the gift of life, other than hurt others┘

⌠As to be expected *hic* you still hold some┘bitterness toward me; not that it matters if you think about it. Your hatred is pointless; in this realm you have no power against me. But I digress.■ 'Like I love you┘ so very much┘' Just filth, something to be removed from existe- 


	12. learning to live

o0o0o0o0o0o0

Warm┘ was being cast into the afterlife supposed to feel like this? Scents┘ so many odors around me my mind couldn▓t identify them┘ is this what dying is┘? And the light, it▓s like I▓m being bathed in the very essence of heaven┘ why?

⌠I was wondering when you two would wake up.■ A voice┘ was it an angel, or a demon┘ it was commanding, a high-pitched call that demanded respect┘ am I to be judged, or is my fate decided already?

⌠┘ Just a little longer┘ such a nice dream┘■ So familiar, yet strange┘ like a lifetime past┘ am I hearing my own life pass, or has my torment begun?

⌠You haven▓t changed much┘ come on Charis; it▓s time to get up!■ Charis? But┘ he▓s cured, and Masaharu surely rid him of my existence┘ I must be in whatever form of hell awaited me┘

⌠┘ Dad?■ Someone was beside me, another presence in the blur...familiar... that squeakiness... If this is hell, then why do I feel so comfortable┘ so cal- Something heavy landed on me, taking away what breath I had. A high-pitched squeak followed, coupled with a flash of pain as something heavy pinned me.

⌠You▓re here! I▓m so happy Kitsu didn▓t take you away-I was worried she would do something mean, cause she really-really hates you-and she▓s not really nice-not that she was the best fox to be around when I was growing up. I still worried, and even threatened her to leave you alone-which wasn▓t very smart of me cause she▓s bigger and older than me, but she did bring you back-we▓re reverted back to Eevee, but I don▓t mind-we can run, and play, and get to know each other, and other things now!■ I squinted, trying to see beyond the curtain of white bearing down on me to catch a glimpse of what attacked me. Something was there┘ a fuzzy brown blob keeping me still and chattering away┘ Charis?

⌠I made sure of that, as she did owe me a favor.■ A third voice scoffed, passing between me and the light, granting a brief moment of vision, before the blinding rays enveloped me once again. My attacker was small: light brown fur, with a creamy collar around its neck, and bright blue eyes┘ no, it can▓t be┘ they▓re trying to break me┘ Charis┘ he can▓t be here┘

⌠What▓s her problem┘ anyway, I▓m glad to see you▓re both getting used to being back in the real world.■ Real world┘ did she go back on her threats? A soft clinking, followed by the grating of metal against metal hit my ears, followed by the light dimming to a manageable level.

⌠┘ Charis?■ The world slowly came into focus: at first, it was a blur of color and shape surrounding the blue-eyed creature above me. Those eyes┘ how can someone who rightfully should hate me at me that way? How┘ how can he care┘ or is it part of the torment?

⌠Of course it▓s me, who else would wake up next to you?■ A grin spread across his muzzle, followed by a loud giggle. ▒Charis▓, or whatever was sitting on me was quite amused, probably finding my current confusion to be a source of amusement. Let him, or her, or it┘ this is the grave my disease has created, and now I must lie in it┘ like I should have long ago┘

⌠Come on, don't be scared. I grew up here, and it's nice despite having its own personal demon.■ He started giggling again, wincing suddenly and looking a bit apologetic. ⌠Yes Dad. I won▓t call her names again.■ I▓m alive? But┘ did she have a change of heart, or would the afterlife not accept me? The fuzzy blob above me came into focus, just as it flopped down and latched onto me.

⌠Charis┘■ His brown and cream body started purring loudly, the soft rumbling sending vibrations through my body as he nuzzled and massaged my chest and head. A dark red spot on his head caught my attention: it was small, maybe half the size of my paw, and looked smooth. From the few glimpses I got as he nuzzled me, it was obviously not a stain, or a wound, which was odd.

⌠You two can get used to being back in a bit, so if you don▓t mind┘■ I know that voice is familiar, but I can▓t place a paw on it┘ maybe its just part of the trick: a voice from the past to lull me into believing this. And that spot on his head┘ what is it?

⌠Okay┘■ He reluctantly let go, giving me one last rub before releasing me and rolling off. It feels so real┘ but, he was a Flareon┘ what was that about regressed?

⌠I know you▓re both anxious to play, but there are a few things I want to discuss with you.■ If this is real┘ wait, that scent┘ I remember it┘ an Espeon┘ no┘ no it can▓t be┘ not him┘ I shivered, trying to curl up and look invisible. Anyone but him┘ Charis called him dad┘ maybe hell decided that living was a far worse punishment┘

⌠┘ Is he okay?■ I tried to suppress a whimper, hoping that if I stayed silent they would forget about me. Charis▓ father┘ the one who passed judgment┘ our executioner┘ why is he so calm now?

⌠Blackwind? Is something wrong┘ come on, I know you▓re in there┘ please, just say something, okay?■ I snapped my ears down, trying to shield myself from the attack I knew was coming. He doesn▓t want me alive┘ not after what I did┘ after hurting his son┘

⌠I know you▓re scared and confused, but I▓m here for you. Please, just trust me┘ he won▓t bite, I promise.■ His shadow towered over me, like the waiting jaws of a predator savoring the final moments before a kill. I▓m cornered┘ too small too fight┘ too scared to run┘

⌠Is it something I┘ oh, oh right, he▓s probably still shook up about what happened a week ago.■ I could feel him standing over me, staring with those cold gray eyes┘ please┘ I▓m sorry┘ I hurt him┘ he deserves better┘

Something rough and moist ran along my ear, catching in the fur and tugging at it gently. Puffs of warm air ran across the dampened patch, before continuing. Mommy┘ she knew how to comfort┘ but, she▓s gone┘ I left her behind, and hurt others┘

⌠Mommy┘■

⌠┘ No silly, Charis. Now come on, I know you▓re in there.■ He nuzzled my cheek again, brushing a paw against my folded ears gently. Charis┘ could he really┘ does he care? I┘ he should hate me, yet┘ yet, he▓s trying to comfort me┘

⌠Charis┘■ What I now knew was his tongue ran along the edge of my right ear, tracing a damp line along its length, the rough barbs pulling at my fur and scratching the skin below. Could it be real? Could┘ is it possible that fate stopped torturing me? Maybe┘ but, I hurt him┘ I used him┘

⌠Blackwind┘ please, I do love you. So what the first time we met was less than pleasant, I know now that you would do anything for me, and you did┘ you gave everything, your very life to stay with me until the end. And┘ I▓m sorry it took that much to make me realize how much you cared┘ how much I cared┘ please, don▓t leave me again.■ Something wet struck my cheek, right before he latched onto my chest, trying to bury his head in my neck. Charis┘ even now I▓m hurting him, just by being near┘

⌠Go, leave me behind┘ you have a life ahead of you, and I▓m just hurting it┘■ I tried to look away, to avoid the desperate look in his eyes, but I couldn▓t┘ I just stared, wanting nothing more than to feel normal┘ to be anything but the freak I am┘

⌠it▓s not you being near that hurts┘ you were so quiet I started thinking you hated me cause Kitsu bullied you, and I didn▓t do anything to stop her. It┘ I couldn▓t feel you┘ you were there, but only as a ghost of yourself, a statue that reminded me of what I fought for, and could even touch┘ but it wasn▓t real.■ He paused, drawing a shaky breath before continuing.

⌠And now┘ now I have you back, but you▓re being distant┘ Dad won▓t hurt you; he only did what he did because it was the only way. His body was trembling, a few tears dampening my fur as he continued to burrow into my neck. He... I did this to him... he would never love me for who I am... what I am... I'm just a freak... something to be hunted down and exterminated...

⌠It▓s not real┘ what I did hurt you, scarred you┘ you▓re just acting on that┘■ It felt like a cold hand was clutching my chest, squeezing until I could barely breathe. It▓s just another lie┘ another part of what I did to him warping his mind┘

⌠You didn▓t force me to love you me, even though what you did hurt┘ it▓s the others side of you I care so much about: that gentle nature, the way you watched over me┘ the way you stood up for me when I couldn▓t do anything. Yes┘ I guess a part of me still resists wanting to be with you, but I▓m willing to stamp it out just for that same caring┘ and to see you laugh again. I just want to play some more, to run, to be free from what that┘ thing did to me.■

⌠I▓m nothing┘ just a monster to be destroyed┘■ My throat tightened, making it hard to breathe. I want mommy┘ her warmth┘ her safety┘ A few tears dripped from beneath my ears, further dampening my fur.

⌠How can a monster be so warm? You▓re the one who▓s truly hurt┘ and it▓s my fault┘ Blackwind, you shouldn▓t be so lost, so afraid┘ you needed me, and all I could do was sit there and let her attack you┘ I let her venomous words poison your heart, her hatred of what you and I are blanket your mind in misery┘ but, I want to make that right, okay? I just want to see you smile again┘■ A gentle paw brushed against the bridge of my nose, wiping away a tear. Why can▓t he see it┘ why does he keep trying┘

⌠It▓s just the scars talking┘ you need your family, those who deserve you┘■ Those who won▓t use you, or corrupt you┘

⌠I┘ I need you┘ you▓re the one who saw me through it all┘ that lantern, burning away the fog and showing me the path in my darkest hour. And now┘ now, I can repay that debt. Blackwind┘■ His voice trailed off, ending in a strained squeak; body shaking like a leaf in the wind. Charis┘ maybe he▓s right┘ but, can filth be happy?

⌠Charis I┘ I▓m sorry┘■ It isn▓t right┘ Charis needs me, and┘ I need him┘ to be strong, to face the demons┘ My body felt like it was made of stone, making even the simple motion of unfolding my ears a daunting task.

⌠Please, don▓t leave me again┘■ His trembling subsided, changing to a tight grip combined with a soft whine. I blinked a few times, looking down at the shaking ball of fur latched onto my chest. Charis┘ is this what I▓ve done to him? I┘ can I make this right? Something sparked within me, a lost sensation flickering within the depths of my misery┘ that lone spark from what felt like a lifetime ago, standing against the tides┘ need, desire, caring┘ I┘ Charis needs me to be strong┘ to be there for him┘

⌠I┘ I won▓t leave you┘ I love you┘■ Without thinking, I shifted myself a bit, leaning down and licking his head a few times: the sensation of passing over whatever that red spot shook loose some of the haze. His whine trailed off, becoming a soft purr once again; eyes still squeezed shut, a few tears clinging to his fur.

⌠Really?■ he looked up at me, blinking a few times to clear some of the moisture, blue eyes darkened by sadness. It stirred something within me, a lone spark swelling into a fire, fighting the blackness of despair and bringing with it warmth┘ a desire┘ a need┘

⌠┘ Really. Charis, I┘ I▓m here for you, if you want me to be.■ I need to fight, to hold my ground and stand by him┘ to stay at his side, and fight the demons together┘ A small smile crept along his muzzle, breaking the gloom hanging over him like a storm clearing┘ his eyes were still darkened by sadness, but a faint spark of what was once there returned, those blue depths slowly regaining the happiness they once held.

⌠Thank you┘■ His grip loosened, becoming a gentle hug: toes wiggling into my fur, and teasing the skin below. Charis┘ I don▓t understand this, but┘ so long as you▓re here, I▓ll face it┘ I▓ll stand against everything┘ to be there, for you┘

⌠I▓ll give you two some time to adjust. If you need anything, I▓ll be in the kitchen.■ A shadow passed over me, dimming the world for a moment before a gray blur moved across my vision. I tried to turn and follow, but Charis▓ grip left my body mostly immobilized; his paws curling further around my chest, pulling me into a tighter hug.

⌠So warm┘ soft┘ goodnight┘■ He trailed off, sniffling one last time before burying his nose in my fur; the sensation of his hot breath against my skin sending shivers down my spine. A feeling of warmth spread from my chest, leaving a tingling sensation in its wake. Love┘ can I feel it for real? Does he┘ does Charis mean it? He does, I know it, I feel it┘ I┘ I▓m alive┘ I▓m real┘ and he loves me┘ he▓s all I need, all I want┘ Charis┘ The warm light, combined with the rhythmic thumping of our heartbeats lulled me into the world of dreams, a place that would no longer be lonely┘ as I shared my heart, my very being with someone.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

Memories drifted pass in a sea of bubbles; sights, sounds and even scents from my past flickered past in an array of information, the chains of my life pulling me onward through the tide. The laughter, sadness, and even pain melted into a blur, streaming together into a cascade of mixed emotions flooding through my veins, awakening so many things┘ past triumph, regrets, laughter, sadness, and┘ and the pain of loss; my mind was sent reeling in the onslaught, cast into the sea of my minds eye with nothing to hang onto┘ alone once again┘

⌠┘ sleepy head, dad says he has a more comfortable place for us to take a nap.■ The tides subsided, leaving me to awaken to Charis rocking my body gently.

⌠┘ what?■ The tides were still rolling out; creating a transition from sleep to consciousness that left my confused mind still at its mercy. Charis kept shaking me, letting out a low whine. His paws felt really nice against my chest, but if only he would stop trying to roll me over┘

⌠Dad said we should get out of the main traffic pattern, unless we wanna get trampled in a few minutes.■ I opened one eye, squinting from the sudden burst of light. The ground beneath me wasn▓t terribly comfortable, but it did beat waking up on hardened dirt all the time. Charis pushed me again, letting out another whine.

⌠I┘ we have place of our own?■ The world slowly came into focus; a large couch, a bit smaller than the ones I▓ve seen before, but much more comfortable looking stood a few feet away. Its surface was covered in a pattern of red and pink roses, the stems twisting around one another to create a web of red, pink green and tan. Behind it was a long red curtain, a ribbon of sunlight poured through a gap between the two sections of cloth.

Charis was closer, having given up on pushing me and sitting down, a look of frustration reflected in his brilliant blue eyes. I smiled faintly, thinking back to the first time I saw those eyes┘ they were filled with fear, as if I was something evil, or dangerous┘ and how they changed; so many emotions have passed by, but always┘ they still hold that light┘ and remind me of the summer sky.

⌠Yep, Dad got out one of the baskets he and mom used to use and cleaned it up-I sure hope he washed it, as smelling them would be really creepy, and make it hard to relax with you! I mean, who wants to sleep on a bed that smells like their parents when it could smell like themselves and their mate, anyway? Now come on sleepy, let▓s get out of here before the clock chimes.■ The dark green carpet was nice for a nap, but the thought of being trampled by whoever else lives here wasn▓t appealing, so with a grunt I rolled onto my stomach; taking a moment to stretch my legs before standing up and turning around, earning me a tackle/hug.

⌠Follow me!■ Charis took off like a shot, running to a nearby doorway before stopping, looking back and waving his tail at me. I obediently followed, staring not at him, but an enormous clock that stood just beyond. A large metal rod, ending in a round piece swung side to side, a trio of large weights attached to chains set just behind it. The entire thing was made of wood and glass, towering over us like a building┘ the swinging bar was hypnotic┘ it reminded me of the past, when those humans would do the same thing with a small metal disk.

⌠Dad still has this thing┘ I remember staring at the pendulum when I was younger, trying to figure out of it could be caught. Just don▓t try yourself, cause that glass smarts. And Dad would yell at us if we broke it.■ I blinked, looking away from the polished surface and into his smiling face. His eyes nearly glowed with happiness, though I knew it was from being where he was wanted and loved again.

Behind him was a long set of stairs covered in the same dark green carpeting as the other room. There were bare patches and claw marks in several spots, and the entire thing lead to a darkened area above. Out of sight in the darker area┘ he really doesn▓t want me around┘

⌠Dad said that the upstairs rooms are nicer in spring, and we▓re right next to my little brother▓s room-though, I guess he isn▓t my little brother anymore; as he▓s now kinda older, but I▓m still gonna call him that. Come on, I wanna introduce you to him-hopefully he doesn▓t hate me for how I used to bully him.■ Charis pounced on me again, squirming to stay on top and nipping at my ears playfully.

⌠I really feel bad for how Kera and I treated him, and now I can apologize and maybe be his slave or something for a few days so he▓ll forgive me. And I▓m sure he▓ll really like you; I like you, and he was always a lot more open about meeting strangers-and you▓re too soft to not like, so come on. I▓ll race ya!■ With one final nip and a playful shove, Charis ran for the stairs, stopping to look back once before assaulting the carpeted steps.

I stayed on the floor for a moment, trying to process everything he had just said. Brother┘ more family for him to be around, and less need for me┘ and, another who probably hates me for what I▓ve done┘ With a subdued sigh, I got up and followed; hopping and clawing my way upward inexorably.

You don▓t stop to think about the simple tasks in life, because they▓re mundane: things you can do without a second thought. But, it▓s that attitude that makes it even harder when you▓re suddenly placed in a much more difficult position. Such as stairs┘ when you▓re big, they▓re more a nuisance to go up and down. But, when you▓re small enough to be a snack for anything predatory┘ they might as well be a mountain. How Charis was bounding up them I don▓t know, but for me it was slow going.

⌠Come on slowpoke, its easy!■ Charis paused yet again, looking down from near the top and waving a paw toward me. His smile was warm, but beyond it I could feel something┘ I▓m not sure what it was, but it didn▓t feel good┘

⌠I-I▓m trying, but it▓s hard┘■ Why did we have to stay up there? Is this just a small punishment, or am I just being made a joke by someone? I struggled up another step, sitting down and panting hard. A part of me wanted to cry, not because of the weariness, but because I was slowing Charis down┘ not keeping up with him like I should.

⌠That▓s because you▓re trying to climb using the carpet. Wait there, I▓ll show you how to do it.■ Charis leaned forward from his perch, letting his forelegs slide along the edge; using it to guide his first descent. His tail wagged the entire way, like it was just another game for him. Is everything fun for him? What▓s it like┘ to feel wanted by those around you?

I glanced away, not trusting myself to keep those thoughts in. The posts holding the railing were stained a light brown, with dents and worn patches giving away their age. Beyond that was the room we started in, once again occupied by him┘ by Charis▓ dad. I shuddered, looking away and hoping he wouldn▓t spot me. He┘ he must love Charis so much, and because I▓m here┘ because I exist, he▓s left behind┘

⌠Hey, I didn▓t mean to make you feel bad. I guess growing up here gave me more time to get used to climbing.■ A soft voice, combined with another playful nip shook me from my thoughts. ⌠Come on, let▓s tackle this together.■ I didn▓t have to turn to know he was smiling. Charis▓ body radiated his happiness like a perfume, pushing away some of my own sadness and giving me strength. Okay stairs, we can conquer you┘ we can conquer anything together.

⌠Okay┘■ The darkened hallway felt like it was miles away, taunting me with being such an easy task for Charis. And even when we got up there, then what? Meet Charis▓ younger brother, who will probably be happy to see him again┘ and I▓ll be there again, just dead weight┘

⌠I can▓t face him alone┘ Dracoris may be forgiving, but even he can▓t just bounce back from how bad I was. And I know he▓ll like you┘ Blackwind, why do you keep feeling like everyone here hates you?■ I turned, trying hard to keep my eyes focused on his. I┘ I▓m not┘ I▓m just something to be put in a dark corner and ignored until I go away.

⌠You▓re not something to be hidden away, or ignored. You▓re my mate, and the only one I want to be with┘ dad isn▓t bothered by it much, and you▓re wonderful to be around. I▓m really nervous, and having you with me will make it a lot easier┘■ He trailed off, looking at the stair and sniffling.

⌠My sister and I would bully him a lot, especially when we were old enough to learn about fighting. She hated him, and so did I; it was stupid to listen to her, but she┘ I wanted her attention┘ I wanted all the attention. Mama and Dad made a fuss over Dracoris because he was small, and it made me really jealous┘ I even thought about killing him a few times, just so they▓d love me more┘ that▓s why I▓m nervous about seeing him again. What if he knows about what I thought of doing, or wants nothing to do with me?■ he sniffled again, rubbing at his eyes with a paw.

⌠I shouldn▓t be dumping all this on you┘■ I was frozen in place, staring at him and wanting to do something. But what? Comfort him┘ listen to him┘ what should I do? He▓s hurt┘ scared, and needs me┘ I placed a paw on his lowered head, brushing my fur against the sensitive interior of his left ear.

⌠Charis┘ you don▓t have to be scared. We▓ll┘ let▓s face it together.■ He stifled one last time, flicking the ear I brushed and looking up at me. His eyes were still watering, but the sadness had left; a sparkle of cheer and love sent a shiver down my spine, ending with my tail twitching involuntarily.

⌠Blackwind, thank you. I┘ I don▓t know what my life would have been like without you, but it couldn▓t have been as happy┘ come on, let▓s show these stairs who▓s boss.■ Charis shuffled forward, craning his and giving my cheek a few tender licks. I leaned forward, nearly losing my balance before he stopped, a soft purr escaping my throat.

⌠You can climb these stairs, but between it being a lot harder and the chance of Dad yelling at you for clawing up the carpet, it▓s easier to jump. It takes a bit of practice, but I know you▓ll catch on right away. Now, just follow me and remember to push off hard with your hind legs. Here, watch me.■ Charis stood and backed up a bit, turning to face the next highest stair. I already knew what he meant and was going to do, but it was easier to just listen than argue. He did a few hops with his front legs, rearing up onto his hind and springing forward; landing with a squeak mostly on the next step.

⌠See, nothing to it.■ I suppressed the urge to giggle a bit as he struggled to keep his composure. He looked caught between laughing at himself and trying hard to be confident in his abilities, which didn▓t help the situation any. So, rather than risk losing my own composure, I got into position and copied what he had done; making sure to add enough force to my jump.

⌠I had a little practice of my own┘■ He gave me a mock sour look, sticking out his tongue and pretending to be annoyed. It▓s the simple things, isn▓t it? Those things you can do with anyone┘ when gender and desire doesn▓t matter┘ that▓s what I▓m here for┘

⌠┘ Come on, let▓s climb it together.■ Charis▓ expression darkened a bit, his smile was still there, but a bit forced as he turned and prepared to jump the next step. I followed suit, glancing over at him once before springing forward and upward, landing less than perfectly.

Our ascent was slow, but that▓s mainly because Charis kept holding back, and waiting for me to keep up with him. Even with his advice and knowing how to jump properly, it took a lot of work to climb; at least there was carpeting to cling to if I missed a bit, unlike the last time I had to do this. I remember those days; scrambling around hallways and hiding beneath cabinets┘ was it even worth all the effort, the fear of being caught and used as in experiments┘ was it worth finding something to care about, only to watch it taken away?

Once the final step was behind us, both of us sat down for a short rest by the railing; leaning on one another for support. Things looked a lot different from a above; a pair of ornate doors carved from oak, or at least made to look like it were nestled in the far wall, a single glass window held in with a metal cross bar was set into each, offsetting the polished brass levers with their dull shine. Closer to us was more of that green carpet, leading from the living room, to what I guessed was the entryway to another section of this place. Sitting by that doorway was the clock I had stared at, and the staircase we had just finished climbing.

⌠A paradise lost, that▓s what this is. I remember so many times paying no attention to things, unless they could be chased or bitten┘ and the times I spent being Kera▓s personal attack Eevee.■ Charis shifted a bit, leaning his head against my neck and lying down.

⌠I can▓t count how many times I considered chasing him up here and pushing him down the stairs, or out a window┘ we had it all here: loving parents and even a group of Dad▓s other PokХmon to learn from, and what did we do? Kera bullied Dracoris, I went along with it because I wanted attention, Derano┘ he got caught in the middle and bullied almost as bad┘ it▓s like this place is still occupied by their memories, ghosts of the past still wandering these halls, unheard by all but those who they matter to┘■ He trailed off, flicking an ear absentmindedly and sighing.

⌠There▓s no reason to keep worrying about it, but┘ it▓s like being back here was fated. Like I was always meant to face my actions, and learn from them┘ it▓s just scary to imagine what it▓ll take to move past those things. I mean, Derano practically wanted to kill me when we broke free, Kera never cared much about any of us, and Dracoris┘ what we did to him nobody in their right mind could just up and forgive.■ His voice was calm, like a part of him had already accepted the consequences to his actions, and just now the rest of him was catching up.

⌠But, that▓s in the past, and today is another day to live again. Dad always said that letting the past haunt you is the first step to an early grave┘ it never made much sense then, but I kind of understand it now. The more you look back, the less attention you▓re paying to what▓s ahead of you. Sounds weird I know, but it works if you don▓t think too hard about it.■ Charis moved his head back a bit, stopping to give my cheek a tender lick before shuffling a bit closer.

⌠Besides, why look toward the past when my future is sitting right in front of me?■ His warm breath ran across my nose and cheeks in small puffs, the smell of berries and cooked meat teasing my senses with each inhale. I shivered inwardly, momentarily forgetting about what he had said┘ about everything but him. We stared into each other▓s eyes, the seconds creeping by at Slugma▓s pace; neither of us willing to blink and break the moment.

⌠You▓ll always be my future, my guiding light┘ no matter what anyone says, or does.■ Charis blinked once, tilting his head a bit to the right and closing the gap; pressing his soft lips against mine. The world stopped in that moment, trapping us in the moment our muzzles met. My mind drifted off, leaving behind the worry and guilt, sinking into the warmth of our embrace.

I whimpered softly as his tongue lapped against my closed jaw, the rough barbs scraping against the thin fur causing me to shiver inwardly. The thin bit of flesh pushed a bit harder, silently asking for entrance. My jaw opened just a bit, allowing Charis to slip his tongue into my mouth.

It took a bit of will to fight back my urge to pull away as his tongue began squirming around, the barbs scraping against the roof of my mouth and gums carelessly. A paw brushed against my mane, toes wiggling into the fur gently as he pushed my head back a bit, deepening our embrace. My breath faltered for a moment, giving him a chance to dig his tongue deep into my mouth; the now curious bit of muscle twisting against my own and lapping at it hungrily. I whimpered again, suckling meekly as his tongue continued to explore.

I wished that our kiss could last forever, but the need for breath finally came. We parted slowly, a thin line of drool linking us together before breaking, hanging from his still slightly slack jaw. I could taste his saliva on my tongue, the slight tang of chesto berries teasing me with a mixture of memories. I┘ Charis┘ I▓m wrong about him, but┘ is it his choice, or what I did that▓s guiding him?

⌠It▓s a choice I made willingly, not something that was forced upon me. You┘ you▓re the first to really care about me, to even put your own life on the line because of your feelings. Blackwind, I love you with all of my heart not because what you did scarred me, but because of whom you are, and what you mean to me. I could have died, or been so thoroughly poisoned by Reapers malice that the monster he created would have won. But┘ but you were there, you chased away the shadows and stood as the one beacon of hope┘ I owe my life-no, I owe my very existence to you.■ Yeah, including using you for my own lustful gain┘

⌠How I feel is unconditional: feelings born of a child▓s shell, grown through the tender caring and selflessness you showed┘ and, how much you held back, how much you sacrificed for me.■ He smiled, flashing a few ivory teeth in a benign way.

⌠Love isn▓t something you earn, nor is it something that can be forced upon you. It▓s grown over time, just like the forest we first met in. Love starts as a spark, a feeling you can▓t quite put into words that grows quickly, becoming a roaring fire within your heart, burning away doubt and leaving behind the tempered bonds of devotion. I don▓t care what anyone says or does, all that matters to me is seeing you smile┘ knowing that you▓re happy┘ being able to hold you, run, play and live a full life with. No, the love burning within me is of my own doing, not because of lost control and regret.■ His eyes flashed, the soft gaze hardening for a moment before returning to normal. He┘ why must I be so weak? Why can▓t I accept my life and live it? Why┘ why is this doubt lingering? I looked down, breaking eye contact and hoping that he wouldn▓t question me further.

⌠Come on, our room is just down the hall. Dad didn▓t say either way if Dracoris is home, but I▓m pretty sure he is. If not, we can just wait for him there-it▓s weird he▓s still living here, but after standing up to Kera maybe he just felt like this was home? Anyway, I really want to introduce you to him, cause getting back to knowing family would be good-he▓ll like you, even though I said that before.▓ Charis▓ voice cracked a bit due to how fast he was chattering, squeaking a few times. I continued to stare at the floor, listening to his ramble yet not feeling┘ into it. Charis┘ I want to believe; I want to hold you as well, to feel your warm body against mine┘ to know I▓m safe┘ but how?

⌠Tag, you▓re it!■ Charis suddenly gave me a small push, grinning widely before dashing toward the darkened area of the hallway. I stared dumbly at his retreating form for a moment before standing up and giving chase. It felt good to run, despite the reason for it being so sudden┘ it was like I▓d been cooped up in a small space for days, and only now able to stretch my legs and enjoy the feeling of freedom.

A few doors whizzed by as I gave chase, one of them open and allowing a passing view of a large bedroom, though it was the only one open. Beige wallpaper and stained wood blurred together as I ran, becoming nothing more than a distraction from my goal. The little tease glanced back, squinting and sticking his tongue out at me┘ time moved in slow motion. The door at the end opened slowly, a pale gray form appearing in the doorway.

⌠What in-■ Charis and the mystery creature collided, followed by me a second later; the combined force of two Eevee hitting it forced the three of us backward, landing in a tangle of bodies, legs and tails. Neither of us had more than a second to untangle, as whatever we ran into suddenly went ballistic; energy rippled across my fur, followed by the sensation of being gripped by an invisible hand. Moments later I was airborne, tossed out the same door we had crashed through, landing less than comfortably on the carpet. A squeak escaped my throat upon landing, followed by a higher pitched whine as Charis landed rather painfully on his tail, rolling onto his back in a heap. Our ▒attacker▓ glanced our direction, a startled look flashing by oddly colored eyes before the door slammed shut, leaving me both dazed and a bit hurt.

⌠Ow┘ jerk.■ Charis moaned, rolling onto his side and panting hard. I stayed still, trying to collect myself and figure out just what just happened. Running┘ door opened┘ crashed into something gray┘ tossed aside like a toy┘ figures this day would stay rough.

⌠I think that was him┘ Dad never mentioned what Dracoris evolved into, but I▓d know those eyes anywhere. I think we just caught him off guard, as an Espeon would have no trouble really hurting us if he wanted to.■ I rolled onto my stomach, ignoring a stinging sensation from my hind legs. Now that I wasn▓t running or being flung through the air, I had a chance to take in the area. Beige wallpaper covered both sides of the hall, scuffed in places where I▓m guessing other residents had been less than careful. Green carpet like that of downstairs and staircase covered the floor. The color was darker in shade, likely from less exposure to light. Near us, another plain wooden door stood slightly ajar, lit by the light shining in through an open blind. The door we were just ejected from was different: a small poster depicting a pair of PokХmon battling in an arena was tacked onto it, though the two PokИmon depicted were ones I▓d never seen before.

⌠Maybe he didn▓t expect anyone to come down the hall┘■ I flicked an ear absentmindedly, debating risking further pain upon standing up. Charis groaned softly, rolling onto his stomach and standing up slowly; squeezing his eyes shut as his left hind leg popped loudly.

⌠Even so, that wasn▓t very nice to just throw us and slam the door shut. Maybe he does hate me┘■ his voice trailed off, ending in a drawn out sigh. He then stood up, wincing a second time before walking over to where I was.

⌠Maybe you▓re right, as we did crash into him like that.■ Charis smiled faintly, crouching down playfully. I glanced at him, noting the playful look in his eyes before going back to staring at the poster. Humans either have really vivid imaginations, or they know of species most haven▓t heard of.

⌠We can do that later I guess. Come on, let▓s play!■ And for that matter, why would whatever Dracoris is have that on his door? I always thought decorations like that were human things. My train of thought was cut off as Charis pounced on me, giggling and nipping at my ears. The force rolled both of us to the side a bit, leaving Charis lying crossways on my chest with me pinned beneath him.

⌠If you want to┘■ Something feels off┘ I wanted to play with him, but something is holding me back┘ What is this doubt? Why┘ why can▓t I be strong like him? I looked up, expecting to see that silly grin and sparkling eyes, only to find a soft gaze and a benign smirk waiting for me.

⌠You're not even trying, are you? I know that fire is still hiding in you, and I▓m gonna bring it back out. I mean, so what if I fell in love with another male, big deal. What I have-what we have isn▓t bound by gender, age or what others think; it▓s something that we can share, something that makes life so much brighter. But, if you want we can just explore for a bit, or just find somewhere warm and relax.■ His smile widened a bit as he shifted his weight, pushing against my stomach a bit roughly before getting back on his paws.

⌠Our room is the open door, though Dad said we can close it. I think there▓s a string or something to turn the handle. Either way, we can have a bit of privacy and rest┘ if you want to, of course.■ Charis moved parallel to me, crouching down and bumping my cheek with his nose, sniffing at my fur before flicking that curious tongue across it.

⌠Okay┘■ I looked just past him, hoping to avoid his piercing gaze for just a moment. I can do this┘ if he believes in me; there must be something┘ some spark he can see that eludes me┘ It took a bit of effort, but I stood up, ignoring the minor discomfort from the throw and pounce.

⌠I don▓t want you to think I▓m forcing this on you, because I▓m not. Blackwind┘ we▓re equal in this: two halves of the same whole. I need you, and right now you need me. You don▓t have to agree to everything I say, nor do you have to pretend to want the same things. Come on, how about we have a little time alone to settle in?■ A soft purr rumbled from his throat, breaking the momentary silence left as we both searched for the right thing to say. He needs me┘ I▓m wanted┘ I-it feels so warm┘

⌠I┘ I want to just rest for a bit┘ is that okay?■ I turned my head a bit, meeting his gaze nervously. He just smiled, those soft blue pools filled with understanding┘ and something else I couldn▓t identify.

⌠Of course it▓s okay. We can play when you▓re up to it┘■ He trailed off, his benign smile growing a bit broader as a blush crept across his cheeks. I couldn▓t help but smile faintly myself, wondering just what he was thinking about. Charis┘ is this truly what love is like? To be wanted, to have someone who cares if you▓re even alive? I┘ it▓s been so long┘ is this what your heart must know so well, yet teases me with it▓s sweet taste, before turning bitter once again?

Charis blushed grew a bit brighter, a few patches of crimson showing through his chocolate brown fur, a nervous giggle mixing with his growing purr; a shiver ran down my spine as he looked away, walking slowly toward the slightly ajar door. I can be happy but┘ is it worth the cost to another?

He looked back, giving me a weird look before rearing up and placing his forepaws on the door, using all of his weight into pushing it open. The hinges moved silently, only opening a few inches-just enough for Charis to squeeze in, tail twitching in a ▒come on▓ motion. I followed obediently; taking a final glance at the door we were thrown from before squeezing past our own.

I blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the sudden dimness. Our room was really big, though being small enough to squeeze inside a small box changes your view on things. A large bed was set against the far wall, a couple pillows and a sheet tossed across it haphazardly. Next to that was a nightstand with a small clock atop it; the drawers were closed, though a few inches of something stuck out from the top one. Dust, cleaner and other scents blended into a strangely relaxing mixture of odors. Charis was sitting in a good-sized basket next to the bed, grinning broadly.

⌠I guess Dad figured we▓d be more comfortable sleeping somewhere we could crawl into, though if you▓d prefer the bed we can go there.■ He lowered himself to a lying position, tilting his head a bit to the left and staring at me with a serious look. I just want to understand this┘ I want to feel him┘ to know how what he must know feels┘

⌠The┘ the basket is fine.■ I moved forward in a daze, blinking as the sunlight shone down on me, stopping at the lip of his┘ of our basket. ⌠May I join you┘?■

⌠Blackwind, come here.■ Charis motioned with his head, indicating the space next to him. I climbed in obediently, sighing contentedly as my paws sank into the soft blanket within. It was wool, I think; the scent of its previous owner still clinging to the colored fibers. I instinctively moved toward the opposite end, trying to take up as little room as possible: a move that was stopped by Charis nipping m mane and pulling me down.

⌠You don▓t have to be so nervous, or try to be out of the way. This basket, this room┘ this home isn▓t just mine anymore, it▓s ours. I care about you, I love you┘ you▓re the reason I kept going through it all. I know we▓re both young, and it▓s a bit bold to say-or so my Dad would try to tell us, but┘ you▓re the one I want to spend my life with.■ He stood up, walking alongside me and nudging my cheek with his nose.

⌠Yes, love is something I▓m still new to, but I know already it▓s something I can▓t live without. It▓s like┘ being wrapped in a warm blanket, surrounded by comforting scents┘ knowing you▓re safe, even on the scariest of nights┘ feeling like you could take on the world, even though you▓re weak on the outside┘ it makes every day brighter, worth facing┘ and, I wouldn▓t trade what I feel for anything.■ He moved on a bit, glancing over my prone form with a strange look, nudging my chest with a paw. I obediently rolled onto my back, craning my neck and instinctually showing submissiveness.

⌠Blackwind┘ you don▓t have to be like that. I don▓t want anything from you┘ I just want to be by you, to feel your warm body against mine┘ to know that no matter what life throws our way, we▓ll be together to face it.■ I felt his paw nudging against my hind legs, wet nose sniffing the pads of my feet. It took a lot not to start laughing from the sensation, but I held myself still.

⌠But I want to. Charis, I took your innocence, and lead you down a path I should have walked alone. Yet you chose to love me, to forgive my actions and care. The least I can do is offer myself to your every desire.■ I glanced up, expecting to see his form looming over me. But, Charis was nowhere to be seen.

⌠Charis?■ I squeaked and flailed in surprise as he suddenly pounced, pushing me into the thick blankets. The world was a blur of white and brown; legs, and tails tumbling haphazardly in the tangle of soft cloth. The sharp sting of claws just digging into skin, and a single nip to the neck were enough to stop my struggling; as the world came to a stop, a single blue eye peered through a translucent sheet, the other covered by a pointed ear.

⌠You know, for having been older before we died, you really can say stupid things.■ The eye blinked, glancing over the tangled heap I was trapped in. ⌠What happened before doesn▓t matter, nor am I going to hold any of it against you, so stop trying to fess up to imaginary crimes. We▓ve been given a second chance, and damned if I▓m going to let either of us waste it.■ His eye narrowed, glaring at me for a few moments before looking away.

⌠Now hold still, I▓ll try to untangle us from this.■ He started fidgeting, grumbling and growling under his breath as he worked. With a few painful looking twists, and a yelp of pain Charis vanished from sight, leaving me alone within the soft sheets. I know he▓s right, but it▓s hard to just up and change how I feel┘ but, I▓ll do it for him.

⌠Come on-stupid sheets-move!■ The world began spinning for a few moments, before the veil of white lifted, and Charis pounced on me again. ⌠Gotcha!■ Two sets of paws landed firmly on my chest and stomach, electing a wheezing yelp from me as Charis▓ full weight crashed down. I blinked and wheezed, trying to remain calm as he hopped and slammed his chest against mine.

As spots danced across my vision, Charis leaned close and began licking my cheek playfully, either ignorant of pretending not to notice my labored breathing. ⌠Oh come on, I didn▓t hit you that hard.■ I just blinked and took a deep breath, fighting back the urge to start coughing. ⌠See, you▓re okay.■ He grinned, nipping my ear before wrapping his forepaws around my chest.

⌠Y-yeah┘■ I forced a small smile, letting the sensation of being held ease away the pain. It may take a bit to accept, but for now just knowing someone really cares about me is more than enough. 


	13. Up and down

o0o0o0o0o0

Life was good at first; Charis and I would run up and down the stairs, or play in the yard when his father let us, or just take a nap in a patch of sun. It was like a dream come true, or a bright ending to the nightmare that had been my life. Only… Charis started being distant. He never said what was bothering him, and I didn't want to upset him so I didn't ask. The spells of gloom never lasted long, and often resulted in him being extra cheerful.

Maybe I'm just being too weak about it, but I feel out of place when he's gone… I don't know anyone here, and they're all much bigger than me. _Charis says they're friendly, but that's easy for him to say; he grew up around them. It's not easy to approach someone big enough to make you a snack and ask who they are…_

Charis introduced me to a few of them, though it felt like he just wanted someone friendly at his side while he talked with his family. Speaking of which, his brother turned out to be really nice, though a bit strange. He kept glancing at me while talking to his brother, like he wanted to say something. Charis asked if he wanted to play with us, but he declined. I like his brother, even though Charis seemed a bit unsure.

_His dad is nice too, though I can feel him giving me a disapproving look when Charis isn't looking… does he hate me, or just the fact that his son is with another male… he makes me feel uncomfortable…. Charis said his dad is a bit shaken by his choice, but I can't help but feel disliked… you can't win them all, though. _Charis spends some time with his dad, so I go up our room or hide under the couch until he returns; that big Mightyena wanders around a lot, so I have to stay out of sight.

I took to sleeping in the attic rather than our room, partially because it was quieter, but also because nobody besides Charis came up there. I could just explore, play a little bit on my own, or sleep without worrying about anyone finding me. _It's fun, but… lonely without Charis. He's around a lot, but there are times his mind is elsewhere… all it takes is a few nibbles and he's back, but it worries me._

A few days drifted by; it's hard to really keep track of time when your life is a mixture of eating, sleeping, and playing. Truthfully, staying indoors a lot didn't help. I didn't mind being cooped up because Charis was there with me, but sometimes… I just wanted to run and play in the grass, but he wanted to rest or do other things… and could be a bit demanding if I tried to say no. He never got mean or yelled, but something about how he acted felt… cold. I just went with it; love sometimes means compromise, and he always made it up to me later.

The attic became my hideaway; a place to be alone when Charis was busy, or wanted to do something else… often it was the former, as his father became an increasingly popular other with him. It reeked of dust and age, but it was out of the way, somewhere I wasn't underfoot or a nuisance to his family… where I wasn't just a burden.

_He's only just been given a chance to see his family, and it's only right he sees them as well. I just… I wish he didn't vanish so much. Sometimes it's like he doesn't want me around;_ _I try to just shrug it off, but when the minutes turned to hours, it becomes hard… it's so lonely up here… I want Charis with me…_

"I was wondering where you disappear to." A low voice snapped me out of my thoughts. The room was deserted aside from me; stacks of boxes surrounded me on three sides, leaving only one area big enough for anything larger than myself to squeeze through. What little light the dirty window let in illuminated nothing but more stacks of junk and dust covered floor outside my hiding spot.

"W-who's there?" I shuffled back, looking around wildly for the source of the voice. _And to try and get away before it finds me. _A slender paw appeared from the entrance to my hiding spot, followed by the pointed head of an Espeon. The intruder paused, looking around quickly around before emerging from behind a dusty trunk.

"Dracoris. You know, Charis' brother?" He smiled faintly, crouching low and trying to look meek. "I've been looking for you." The tufts of fur on his cheeks twitched as his smile faded, the look in his mixed eyes was impossible to read. I backed up further, slipping on a half hidden piece of cloth and landing hard on my left shoulder blade. "What do you want?"

He gave me a look that could only be described as questioning, flicking an ear in thought. "To talk, that's all. I'm not going to hurt you, promise." His lips quivered, a small smile creasing his muzzle as he extended a paw. I remained still, watching the slender limp approach with caution. "It doesn't bite." He chuckled softly, a look of mirth flashing across those oddly colored pools.

"I-I'd rather stay here…" _Why does he want to talk… am I in trouble? _The paw retreated, leaving a trail in the dust. "Did I do something wrong?" He laughed again, this time the sound had some warmth to it.

"If you did something wrong, I wouldn't be trying to coax out of hiding, now would I?" Dracoris shuffled back a bit, watching me with every step. "No, I just thought you wanted someone to talk to up here. A friend of Charis is a friend of mine, after all." He crouched low, resting his head on his forepaws.

"Did… did he sent you to find me?" I looked up hopefully, trying to put on a smile. Dracoris shook his head, returning my false cheer with a saddened look of his own. "Oh…" With a bit of effort, I eased myself onto all fours, wincing as the bone I'd landed on protested. "I just thought…"

"He's still talking with Dad about something, has been for over an hour." He sighed, flicking the same ear. "He's been distant for a while, hasn't he?" He stared me in the eye, the gem on his forehead glowing with a faint blue hue. I hesitated, considering making a break for it but deciding that it would be a bad idea.

"… yes, but he has his reasons." Dracoris frowned, shuffling on his haunches uncomfortably. "If Charis is talking with his dad so much, it must be important." A look of disapproval followed, the downcast stare he was giving me changing to one of annoyance.

"Why don't you at least go down there and be with him? I'm sure Dad would love to have his future son in law-it's a human custom, or so I've heard-around more." The tone of his voice changed, as if what I said bothered him. He frowned for a moment, before brightening again. "You shouldn't spend all your time cooped up in the dust, it's bad for you."

"I'm fine here… really. Charis will come and find me when he's done." I looked down, swallowing hard. "He's busy, and I don't want to be a bother." Dracoris growled softly, a flash of bright blue light illuminating the floor around me.

"Is that how he makes you feel? That you have to stay hidden away while he's 'busy doing things'? I was going to see if you two wanted to play, but it seems his old ways are already taking over." He growled again, slapping the floor with his tail loudly; a small cloud of dust rising from the action.

"Be careful, as his words are more dangerous than his actions." And with that, he vanished. I stared at the spot for a minute, before approaching it cautiously. _'His words are more dangerous than his actions.'? What does that mean…? Charis never says anything mean or hurtful; he's too sweet and loving for that. What does that psychic know about Charis anyway? He doesn't know the caring Eevee I do… right? _

Those parting words rang in my ears even as Charis came around, walking with a light step. I peeked around the corner, fighting back the urge to run out and pounce him. Instead, I walked out of my hiding place, sitting down and waiting for him in the open.

"There you are, I was looking all over for you." He grinned broadly, a few flecks of red clinging to his lips. "Sorry I took so long, but Dad had just finished making one of his great Razz tarts, and we both had some. I was going to come looking for you, but we lost track of time… there's some in the fridge if you'd like one, though."

I shook my head, walking over to him and nuzzling his chest lightly. "No, but thank you for offering." His fur smelled of more than Razz berry; his father, flour, sugar, and a few other things I couldn't place clung to him, masking his normal scent. "What were you two doing?" He shrugged, waving a paw dismissively.

"Just catching up on life, that's all." He sniffed, reeling back with a frown. "You need a bath."

"I do?" I gave my paw a quick sniff, finding nothing really out of the ordinary. Charis wrinkled his nose again, licking at a loose patch of fur on my forehead. "Maybe it's all the dust." He paused, inspecting the freshly groomed patch before mumbling something I didn't catch.

"Nah, you just look a bit unkempt, though hanging around up here so much doesn't help. Come on, let's go back downstairs; I'll wash you properly, okay?" He pushed off, hopping back and waving to me with his tail. "Come on, race ya to our room!' With a giggle he was off, leaving me staring after his retreating form. When I didn't move he turned back, giving me a 'what are you waiting for' stare'.

"Sorry, I'm coming." I stood up and walked after him, trying to pick my way across the same path he had to keep from tracking too much dust on them. _Maybe I should find somewhere less dusty to hide, but… it's sort of fun up here. I wonder if Charis will be up for some tag later… the boxes could be fun to hide in between. _I glanced up as his tail tapped me on the nose, breaking that train of thought

"Is something on your mind?" His tail brushed along my jaw, the white tip tracing a line around my lips; I giggled from the sensation, smiling. _It's the simple things that matter, not the big ones. _

"Just a bit lost in thought, that's all." I tilted my head, watching the snowy tip wave in front of my nose. "Would you like to play later?" The tail tip stopped moving, hovering a few inches from my nose.

"Well… Dad wanted to talk about something after dinner, but it can wait…" He sighed, tail falling to the floor with a soft thump. My smile faded, a pang of guilt tugging at my chest.

"We can do it tomorrow if you want." The words tasted bitter even as I spoke them, but waiting a little longer wouldn't be so bad. _Besides, Charis looked so disappointed when I asked… his dad deserves to spend time with him as well, after all. _It took a lot of effort, but I managed a small smile.

His tail perked up, wagging slowly and shaking looks a bit of dust. "Really?" I shivered from the happy tone returning to his voice, forgetting about the disappointment. "I promise we'll spend the whole day tomorrow playing if you want." He turned, nudging my cheek with his nose.

"We don't have to..." He nudged again, this time licking my cheek a few times. I leaned into his ministrations, fighting the urge to purr; a losing battle. "What if your dad wants something tomorrow?"

"If he does we can work it out. I like spending time with you, too." His eyes sparkled with playfulness, burning away the last of my own sadness and making my smile a genuine one. "In fact... how about we play right now?" With a playful growl, Charis fell into a crouched position, hind legs wiggling in preparation to pounce.

"What about getting cleaned up?" His tail wagged faster, whipping through the air sharply. "Playing up here would just get us dirtier, and-" I barely had time to think as Charis leapt, crashing into me like a brown and cream missile; the impact sent both of us tumbling backward in a tangle of limbs. We landed in a heap, Charis grinning proudly as he pinned me to the floor.

"Well, doesn't cleaning up require us to be dirty first?" He giggled, wiggling his toes through my now brown tinged collar. I just nodded, unsure of how to respond. _One minute he's down, and the next he's happy... how does he do it? _A paw swiped at my nose, reminding me of what was going on. "Hey, you still in there?"

"Yeah, just thinking about things." I squirmed against his weight, trying unsuccessfully to free myself before the same paw pressed against my lips. In response, I licked the offender, grinning as Charis squeaked in surprise and lost his balance. "Serves you right."

He gave me a sour look, sticking his tongue out at me before rolling to his feet. "I'll take that as a yes, then." With that he bounded off, the sound his paws striking the floor fading as I struggled to right myself. _Best go with it, rather than question his thinking._ With a growl I gave chase, keeping my attention low and following his paw prints; not an easy task, when you've wandered around the area before.

The maze of boxes, trunks, and other things I couldn't identify made the area a great place to hide. Unfortunately for me I was the seeker, meaning that the terrain was working against me. It didn't help that Charis kept giggling at weird times, leading me further astray as I followed a set of prints.

The trail wound past a large coat rack, the thin wood object standing apart from the other clutter in such a way I had to stop and investigate. A large rain coat hung limply from one of its hooks, the light brown material was worn with age; several stains were visible on the sleeves, along with a small hole around where a human's shoulder would be. Something about it felt... eerie, like there was more than could be seen about it. With a shrug I continued on, glancing back at the coat one last time before returning to my pursuit.

Several minutes went by as I followed one trail after another, running circles around the attic chasing glimpses of a tail, or the sound of paws pounding against the floor as Charis fled to another hiding spot. I almost caught him once, but the little cheater squirmed free and bolted, laughing as I struggled to keep up. _I should have gripped harder, but it might have hurt him... oh well, I'll get him next time._

A brown and cream blur moved past the corner of my eye, followed by another telltale giggle. _He's baiting me, I know it._ The trail came to a dead end, stopping by a trunk that was suspiciously low to the ground. _Cheater... _I was about to turn around and look for another trail when a shout made me pause. I looked up just as Charis leapt from his hidden perch, leaving me barely able to utter a squeak of surprise before being pounced.

"Gotcha!" Charis announced proudly, tail wagging furiously. He then fidgeted, tilting his head to the side and giving me a funny look "The hunter became the hunted this time." The abrupt change of mood, combined with how strange his statement was left me confused, so I simply nodded.

"Now that you have me, am I free to go or is there a ransom?" Charis was silent for a bit, simply staring down at me with that same stare; I tried to look away, but my eyes refused to move or even blink. The moment dragged on for what felt like an hour, stretching the brief silence into an eternity before Charis' expression changed, a smile breaking through the awkwardness.

"Nothing you can't afford, promise." He batted my nose with a paw, and then began stroking my cheek, digging a single claw through the fur and just brushing the skin beneath. A shiver ran down my spine with each pass, lulling me into a content state. "Just a little time together, that's all…" Every motion, each gentle stroke pushed all thought further away, leaving behind only his paw, and the comforting weight of him above me.

"I can do that…" _Dracoris is wrong… he doesn't know Charis like I do. _A soft purr was the only thing I could muster as Charis' paw began kneading my mane, working his toes into the cream fur slowly. _Charis loves me, and I trust him with my life… and love him with all my heart. _

o0o0o0o0o0

It turned out that the 'price' was a little more than time together… not that it bothered me, of course. Charis… he has funny ways of asking for a bit more adult 'play time', but that's just another thing I'm learning to accept. He has other quirks, but nothing that bad; sometimes he zones out when we're together, or starts talking about his dad and what they've been doing. Other times he's very affectionate, even aggressive in his kissing… he bit me once, but that's because I started it by trying to pin his tongue down with mine.

Meals are served with the whole family together; a scary thing to do when you're small enough to BE a meal, but they're all nice… even happy together. Charis keeps telling me that I'm part of his family, but it just doesn't feel right. They're all so normal, and comfortable around each other… I don't fit in anywhere, because of what I am. 'In time they'll learn to look past it' he says so often, but… I just don't know. I'm an outsider, and always will be…

His brother is the only exception; Dracoris comes looking for me a lot. It would be nice, but he's so eerie to be near… it's like he's staring through me with those strange eyes of his. And he keeps trying to convince me of something that can't be true; Charis is distant only because his dad is important, not because he doesn't care… I just wish he'd be around a bit more, or want to play tag. His brother and I play a bit, but it's just not the same.

Sometimes I start to wonder about things, such as why Charis wants to mate so much… I know it feels good to him, but… well, he likes it and I like it enough so it's fine. He makes it up to me by being cuddly when we take a nap, or spend a few hours just relaxing in the sun. He makes a lot of things up to me, actually; playing for maybe an hour or more if he's been with his dad most of the day, kissing before persuading me to submit, or asking his dad to let us have something sweet just before dinner. The last one I don't really like, but Charis does so I go with it.

Sometimes when he's off with his dad I just watch the pendulum to pass the time. It's hypnotic, and really makes waiting several hours while he's busy fly by… and it gives me a chance to clear my head and think about things. Often I wonder how things came to be like this… why fate chose to make my life so difficult all those years, to only now give me something worth living for.

_Yes, there was Blaze but… I didn't feel the same way about her as I do Charis. There's liking someone, and there' s loving someone… that spark was never there like it is for Charis. It hurt when she was murdered, and I felt so lost… but I went on. In a way… maybe her dying was for the better… no, death is never a good thing. Her life was lost, and so was mine until he came along…. _

A hollow boom shook the gloom away, reminding me what time it was. I looked up, trying to see where the hands were set. Failing that, I listened to the deep chime, waiting for the monotone gongs marking the hour to start. _4… 5… 6… 7… 8. He said they'd be done an hour ago…. _It was dark outside, meaning that I was stuck indoors; Charis was very specific that his dad didn't want us outside past 5 without supervision because of the warring packs. "Where is he…?"

"He's going to be at least another hour." I nearly jumped out of my fur, heart pounding in my ears as a wave of numbness spread through my limbs. The voice was familiar, but that didn't help when it spoke so suddenly. ""I saw Charis and dad getting ready to make a grocery run."

The lithe form of Dracoris walked around the corner, seemingly materializing from the gloom beyond. A rather unwelcome warmth spread from my hindquarters, even as I fought down a few unjust thoughts down. _I can't start thinking about that… Charis is the one I love, and that means no bad thoughts about anyone else. _He paused, blinking slowly and just staring for a moment, before shrugging faintly and moving next to me.

"I-I didn't hear you coming." I tried to look calm, but when your lovers' brother is approaching from nowhere, it's very hard… especially when he scares you.

"The carpet has a habit of deadening sounds, especially when the clock is chiming in your ear." He smirked at his own observation, flashing a row of ivory teeth in what I've come to know as a benign grin. "I didn't expect to find you alone still. Charis said he was going to ask if you wanted to go." The tufts of fur on his cheeks twitched as his grin faded.

"No… he's been with his dad since four, and I haven't seen him since… I guess he forgot." I flinched as Dracoris growled faintly, trying to shrink away before he lashed out. _He never does more than growl, or say a few harsh words before returning to that eerie cheerfulness he has, but it still scares me every time. _

"Or he lied to me again." His eyes darkened for a moment, the normally unreadable look cracking, letting a glimpse of the mind hidden behind them through. "His old habits are starting to take hold, but this time I'm not the victim of it." It was like staring into a pool of water, the still surface of his eyes both reflected my own emotions, and gave me a distorted view into their depths.

"He wouldn't lie about it. I'm sure he forgot." The pools changed, my conviction rippling across the still surface as Dracoris' own emotions flared. "Charis has no reason to lie about asking me, and I don't appreciate you accusing him of such a thing." He stared for a bit, a torrent of subtle changes flowing across his mismatched pools; nothing was coherent, but I knew he disapproved of my reasoning.

"Do you like being his slave?" His eyes froze over once again, first distorting and then shutting out the growing turbulence behind them; only my own resolve, and devotion stood in the reflection. "Does it make you feel important to him knowing you're obeying his quirks, and doing what he wants with no consideration for yourself?" I stood my ground, ignoring the telltale warning of his forehead gem beginning to glow.

"Charis is my mate, and as such I trust him with every fiber of my being. I won't be intimidated by anyone trying to tell me otherwise." A familiar bitterness lingered as I said those words, doubt tugging at my mind even as my heart told me I was right. "You don't scare me." Dracoris' lip curled for just a moment, followed by a deep growl.

"I see his venom has taken hold. Well, don't let this young fool stand in the way of the love and caring you know him so well for." He scowled, lashing his tail across the floor a few times before brightening. "Just be careful, your heart is still raw; losing someone you care about it a wound that never fully heals, and all it takes is the right blow for it to bleed again." And just like that, the flash of agitation was gone.

"What do you know about that? I thought-"

"I don't have to be psychic to see that you've had someone before my brother. Though, Charis did mention you had a special someone once… I don't remember the name he said, but by how he talked she was something special to you." I flinched inwardly, steeling myself against the memories and his abrupt change of subject. "No, I'm not trying to weaken your attachment to Charis. I just thought… oh, never mind."

"Just… leave me alone about it. Charis and I are fine, and we don't need someone who has a reason to dislike him trying to say otherwise." I turned away, staring at the pendulum and ignoring the prickling feeling crawling up my spine. _I know I'm right… Charis wouldn't lie about that, he has no reason to. He only forgot. _

"Your emotions will be your downfall. Just remember that you're not without others to confide in, even if they're not apparent just yet." And with that, he vanished, leaving only the rhythmic ticking of the clock to break the silence. _He's just like the others… secretly hating me for what I am. Then… why did he sound so sincere… I want Charis here…_

The minutes crawled by, every swing of the pendulum driving me closer to sleep; I fought it, wanting to be awake when Charis returned. _Why did he forget… maybe he just got caught up in the moment, or his dad wanted to leave before he could? I'm sure there's a reason, there has to be. Maybe his dad doesn't approve of me, or wanted a bit of time with Charis alone? That's reasonable… he hasn't seen his son in a long time, and only now they can really bond… he means well. _

The loud chime of the half hour boomed suddenly, driving away the inviting grip of sleep. _Maybe I should go up to our room and wait… but I want to be here when they get back…. _A loud growl from my stomach settled that matter. With a yawn, I wandered toward the kitchen, walking along the wall to minimize the chance of being seen by anyone. _And becoming their snack, rather than finding one for myself._

I paused at the doorway, looking around the room quickly before working out a path. There was a table set roughly in the middle of the dining room, though tonight the chairs were all pushed in, creating a maze of wooden legs; a perfect place to snake through. The bare floor would be a problem if I had to run, but since the area looked deserted, it gave me a chance to take it slow and walk softly.

After a few calming breaths, I started forward, keeping low to the floor just in case. The scent of Charis' family clung to every chair, marking each one by it's owner. _Family that eats together, and likes each other's presence… what's it like? _I picked my way through, squeezing under a few cross bars to avoid making too much noise from jumping them. It… hurt having to sneak, but it was late and Charis was gone, so caution was in order.

Once I reached the kitchen doorway I paused again, looking for good hiding places. Unfortunately, the kitchen was spacious; a large refrigerator sat humming softly by the doorway, twin handles were set lower than normal but still out of my reach, likely for the others to open it with. Further down sat a stove; a lone pot handle was visible from my vantage point, angled outward.

To the other side was a sealed cabinet, complete with sink and various drawers. There was a narrow space along most of it; hardly enough to hide under, but it was something. At the far end of the room, by a closed door sat my target; a large cabinet with low slung doors, and a length of rope tied to the knobs, allowing anyone without hands to open them.

I took a few tentative steps forward, shivering from how cold the tile was. _Just like in that human building… sneaking around, stealing food to survive… is this what I'm reduced to? _With a sigh, I pressed on; every step felt guilty, but another growl followed by a bit of pain kept me moving. In the dim light, the floors pattern melded into an array of shapes; the moon's strong glow pooled on a particular section, illuminating the flecks of metallic in such a pretty way, that I stopped to stare-

"If you're looking for something to eat, I can help you." I nearly shrieked from the sudden sound, running futilely against the slick tile until a large paw pushed me down. "Calm down, it's only me." The voice was familiar, but in my panic the only thing that mattered was fleeing. So, with a lot of effort I broke free; using the momentary pressure to find purchase on the smooth surface and bold forward, slipping and falling after only a few feet.

The world was a blur as I skidded forward, stopping when my body crashed into the far wall. Without trying to think I scrambled forward, pushing off and sliding under the cabinet I was originally heading toward. I backed against the wall, cowering from my unseen stalker. A pointed head peered under my hiding spot, followed by a slender paw.

"Why are you being so jumpy? I know it's dark, but nobody is going to get mad just because you're wandering around." The voice finally registered, but did little to ease my panic.

"I-I wasn't doing anything, really. Just waiting for Charis to come back." I pressed myself against the wall, struggling to maintain the position as his paw extended toward me. "W-what do you want?"

"Well, I was going to get a snack and doing some reading, but since I found you well, I wondered if you wanted to play?"

"N-no, I'm okay. I j-just wanted to wait for Charis, that's all."

"Oh… okay." He gave a disappointed sigh, pulling his paw back quickly. "I'll be up in my room, so feel free to knock if you change your mind." With that, he stood up and turned, from what I could see walking toward the fridge. The telltale groan of a stiff door opening came a few moments later, followed by the clinking of glass against glass. And then, the same groan before he walked out of view. _Maybe I shouldn't have lied…_

Once the coast was clear, I crawled out from under the cabinet, shaking a layer of dust from my fur. _I could just go up and play… but, what if Charis gets back and I'm busy? _With a whine, I turned my attention back to finding something to eat; it would be a difficult task, even with the rope. The cabinet itself was tall, but thankfully there was a pair of doors low enough that I could open them and not have to climb after.

I gripped the length in my jaws, giving it an experimental tug before snapping my head back. The slick floor worked against me, making it very difficult to pull without simply sliding forward. It took several tries, but with a satisfying click the latch gave. With a few more jerks, the door swung open with a tortured groan, granting me access to it's contents.

A few white boxes were stacked inside, along with several clear containers with what I guessed were spices or other dry goods took up most of the space. Since the clear ones looked sealed, I poked my nose into one of the open white boxes, pulling out a long bar of something wrapped in plastic. _What did those humans call them… energy bars? Well, they were okay back then, so these should be edible. _

The trick was opening the wrapping. It gave pretty easily when pulled on by an Umbreon, but an Eevee such as myself had to work quite a bit harder. I gripped the narrow end in my teeth, pushing the main part of the bar down and tugging, succeeding in pulling a small piece loose. I spit out the tasteless stuff, growling at the offending material before attacking the hole.

With a lot more work, I managed to tear the plastic open far enough to bite off a piece. The taste was less than enjoyable, but when you're hungry that's not a major factor in if you eat something or not. It did remind me of the past, which was quite unpleasant; memories of hiding under cabinets, stealing from open containers and cabinets, all the while listening and trying to learn drifted back as I ate.

The sound of a door opening caused me to pause, and peer out from the cabinet. A series of brown bags floated in, followed by the Espeon controlling them. Charis was not far behind, laughing and talking fast with the feline. I wanted to hop down and join them, but I remained hidden. _His dad probably doesn't want me around, and they look busy…. _

I watched as the bags landed, their contents rising into the air before being distributed to the various cabinets and the refrigerator. The entire scene happened as the feline sat talking with Charis, hardly paying attention to his actions. I only caught bits of their conversation, as between the door blocking part of the sound, and the rather loud creak of cabinets and doors opening and closing drowned most of it out.

Once his task was done, Charis' dad paused, looking in my direction; I tried to hide, but the boxes were stacked too tight for me to squeeze between. He said something that was lost to me, moments later Charis appeared in the opening I had slipped through. I sighed inwardly, a wave of relief running through me upon seeing him.

"Why are you hiding in the cupboard? Dad was going to make us something when we got back." He frowned, spotting the half eaten bar. "I see you couldn't wait." Without another word, he turned and walked back to his dad, twitching his tail in irritation. I followed obediently, picking up the remainder of my meal, not daring to look either of them in the eye.

"Blackwind, why are you eating that? I'm not even sure how old they are." I looked up, meeting the concerned gaze of Charis' father. "I'm making a late dinner for myself and you two, unless you'd prefer to eat that thing." Without waiting for a response, Charis' dad turned toward the stove, eyes glowing with a familiar blue hue of psychic energy.

"I-I'd like that… thank you…" He said nothing in response, only smiling as with a soft whoosh, the stove came to life. _He's just being nice because Charis is here… I know his dad doesn't approve of me. _Several things began to happen at once; a drawer opened, two large knifes removed themselves from an unseen rack and began to chop some vegetables, the pot moved itself to the sink and filled with water before returning to the stove.

Another small pan came out of a different cupboard, a bottle of clear liquid appearing from a cabinet above my hiding spot and emptying part of its contents into the smaller pan, before being replaced. The pan was then set on a second fire, the liquid beginning to sizzle and pop lightly. All the while Charis' dad just hummed to himself, hovering in the air and glancing at the various activities in turn.

I watched with interest, and a little apprehension; one loss of concentration could send any of the very dangerous objects toward me… _or even a staged accident. _Within minutes, the room was filled with a wondrous scent; a mixture of vegetables and meat cooking together, with just a hint of spice to bring the entire fragrance together. My mouth started to water, already anticipating what Charis' dad was making.

With a final splash of something, and a large cloud of steam fogging up the window our dinner was served; he spreading a mixture of carrots, broccoli, green beans, a few onions, and several strips of meat on a single plate for us. "It's not terribly fancy, but I hope you enjoy it." With a rather strange gesture, he placed some on a plate for himself, placing it near ours; with a second strange gesture, he landed and sat down with us.

"Thanks for the meal dad, it looks great." Without waiting for further invitation, Charis grabbed a strip of meat in his teeth, tossing it back and chewing noisily. I looked over the tempting plate, settling for a small piece of carrot. The first bite was amazing… how humans could take something that usually tasted bland and give it such a spark… it left me wanting more.

I stayed away from the meat, as it was Charis' favorite part, and I'm not big on the texture. It would have been nice, but I settled for having it another day. Besides, just having a great meal was more than enough for me… it made me feel wanted by his dad, though I knew it was just a passing emotion. _Still, being wanted by more than just Charis is a nice illusion until it fades._

We ate in silence, focused more on the great meal than trying to find things to say in between bites. It was great, even if the floor was cold; meals with Charis' family were always good, but so often I ate fast to get away, or ate something cold later to avoid them that the flavor never really registered. But this time, it felt like a real meal with real family… and I liked it.

Once we were done, Charis' dad began on clean-up, leaving Charis and myself free to do whatever. I wanted to play, but he gave me a sharp look and walked off, turning with a 'get over here' scowl. A part of me wanted to stay and try to help, but… that look was one you didn't deny. So, with a sigh I followed, trying not to show how much his look bothered me.

"Did you two have a good time?" Charis mumbled a yes, slowing down a bit and turning to face me. "That's good…"

"Blackwind, why did you have to embarrass me in front of Dad? You know we eat what he cooks or brings home around here." His words stung, but the scorn in his voice was worse.

"I… got hungry…"

"We all get hungry, but that doesn't give you the right to go raiding cupboards without permission." I started to respond, but a sharp glare rendered me speechless. "I don't want to hear it. I'm going to bed, you can do whatever you want." And with that, he turned and bounded off. I stood there, watching him run toward the stairs; something told me to follow, but my legs were like lead. As he climbed… I started to cry.

"Charis… I'm sorry…" Once Charis was out of sight, I dragged myself toward the couch… it hurt even to breathe, like something was tearing into my chest. _Charis… I didn't mean to make you angry… I'll make it up to you in the morning…. _Wiping a few tears away to clear my vision, I crawled under the couch… that night, I cried myself to sleep.

o0o0o0o0o0


	14. Dissonance

o0o0o0o0o0

In the morning Charis came looking for me, and even apologized in a way for snapping at me. He also said what we were going to do today, which… it bothered me a little. He wanted to mate yet again, but I didn't; I said no, but he kept bugging me until I gave in… and it didn't feel very good. But, I did owe him for stealing that food, so I guess it was a small punishment. After that he went back to a sort of normal state, even wanting to play a little.

The day wasn't bad… even a bit better than the last few; Charis was around the whole time, either wanting to be really rough and tumble, or a bit more 'adult' about things. Every time I tried to say no, he simply pounced and licked just the right spots until I gave in… it left me really sore, but he was walking on clouds after the third time. I just wish he would be happy like that more often, and not with such a high price….

I also apologized to his dad and offered to make it up, but he just laughed and said it was okay. Charis was right there, so I just thanked him and slinked off… even so, I could feel him watching me go, like he wanted to say something more. Charis' dad is nicer than I thought, though something about his mood was different than last night… I can't place it, and Charis got mad when I asked, so it was best to drop it.

Charis… I don't know what it was, but he suddenly became very affectionate… we were relaxing on the couch, enjoying a patch of sun when he started licking and nibbling at my ear. At first, I thought he wanted 'that' yet again, but he didn't move from his spot. I… I couldn't help but start to purr as his tongue worked, making me forget about everything except that soft sensation.

He stopped once to say hi to someone… an Umbreon. I only remember because he called the stranger Mama… Azarus is her name I thing… he mentioned it after she was out of the room, but by then I was so relaxed nothing really registered. I know he coaxed me upstairs and asked again… I didn't even argue, instead getting into the position that became second nature, and waiting for it to start. _I… is this what love is? Am I just something to bribe and coax?_

The next thing I remember is being sore again, and Charis asleep on my back. With great care not to wake him up, I crawled free; stopping to pull a bit of blanket atop his sleeping form before slinking out of our room. It hurt to walk, but I needed a bit of time to think… and to recover from Charis' roughness. _Four times in one day… he's really getting potent… maybe we can switch to something not so rough…__._

I wandered toward the attic stairs, lost in thought. _He's been so distant, even cold sometimes… yet, he always comes back with an apology and an idea. Maybe I'm over thinking this; he's just busy with family issues, and I need to be patient. Besides, mating is just something you do to relax… if only he'd be a bit gentler. _I stopped at the stairs, staring up into the darkness and wondering how I would get up there.

Each step was difficult, every jolting motion was met with a sharp protest from my hind legs; soreness from earlier spreading further up my spine with each forced jump. _It doesn't matter. Pain fades given time to heal, the lingering sting is only a hindrance to be overcome, to be ignored. _I slipped once, tumbling down a few steps before landing in a heap on the floor. I think I started crying, but it's hard to remember.

The room was dimly lit, the only source of light being from a dying bulb on the ceiling. _How many times have I come up here to wait, or to avoid others? Is this just how my life is to end… born into shadow, and ending in shadow? _Someone was talking to me, but I don't know who… it could have been Charis' dad or Dracoris, but in the gloom they looked alike.

I replied to his questions without really thinking about what was being said, wondering when he would give up and leave. _I just want to be alone for a little while… why can't he understand that? Is this just part of living here? Being pestered when all you want is to wait for someone? _It was hard to follow the conversation, especially when most of it came out as mumbles or things that didn't register….

He said something sharp… something mean about Charis, and I snapped. Without pause I leapt forward, claws ready to take revenge for an unjust comment, meeting only air. Moments later, a crushing paw pinned me to the floor, and a sharp growl replaced his words. The last thing I remember before he vanished were a few parting words… 'I hope someone is there to pick up the pieces.'.

I was alone again, lost to the shadows and dust; was it only moments after he vanished, or hours? Did it even matter? In the shadows and dust time had no meaning, just another thing consumed by the expanse, lost to the world. _It's like being back in the black fangs… living in the cracks between where others were, hiding from those who hate me. 'But… I have Charis, and that makes it okay… right?' _Only stillness met my unspoken question.

Charis came looking for me later, looking concerned… or annoyed, it was hard to tell. Either way we played for a bit, running and tumbling like last night never happened. It was… nice, I guess-having Charis by me made the shadows seem smaller, and the dim bulb brought his eyes into focus._ I can still see those bright blue pools watching, standing out against a darkened muzzle, appraising-no, judging me. _

We ate together with his dad and the rest of his family- didn't really taste it, but by how they acted it was good. The night dragged on from there, blurring into a bit of play, a rather odd bit of time being bathed by his dad-water baths are strange- which was nice… I guess, and finally being snuggled against by a still damp Charis. And here I am, lying awake and wondering about where the day went. _No matter… sleep first… figure it out in th-_

o0o0o0o0o0

Morning broke rather uncomfortably; it's difficult to feel well rested when someone is nibbling your ear, and mumbling about wanting something. I didn't even argue, or try to wake up, as it was obvious what Charis wanted. _Once he has it, he'll go back to sleep, or let me wake up… just give it to him, and things will be fine. 'why?' That's what mates do, they compromise. 'They care about each other, too…'_

_Discomfort is just a part of life, and I'll bear it to see him happy. If he's happy, I'm happy. 'Is that really true?' Charis… he can be distant, or have things to do, but I know he loves me. 'Then why does he want to mate so much?' Mating is part of love, it's an expression of it, a bonding. 'Or a way for the dominant one to feel good.' It feels good for both, so it's fine I submit to him. 'If only that was still true…' _

The pain came and went, followed by a hollow feeling once Charis was satisfied. He licked my cheek, parting with a quick hug and a promise to bring lunch. _If I'm even hungry by then… you don't burn much when your day is spent lying around, or playing a little. _I watched him go, returning his smile like an automaton before sighing, curling into the slowly cooling blankets, and going back to sleep.

Later in the day-I'm not really sure when Charis came back, laughing and talking happily. He was giddy because of… something. He was talking a mile a minute, and it didn't all filter through, so I just nodded and said a few things at the right time. _'He used to talk about you like that.' He's excited because his dad is going to seek a mate, that's all' _After which, he wanted to snuggle a bit. I just went with it, not having the energy to really return the gesture.

'_He only loves what you'll do for him, or what he can do to you.' He loves me for who I am, just like I love him for who he is. 'Or who you think he is. You're just his plaything.' I'm his mate. 'Do mates vanish most of the day, or talk about so many other things and ask to mate in between?' Charis does, and that's fine. 'When his venom strikes, you'll see the truth.'_

The day wore on slowly; Charis was gone for a bit, but came back in his usual frisky mood. _At least he doesn't want to run around… I feel so tired. '_I sighed, earning a strange look from Charis. He then brushed his muzzle against mine, drawing me into a gentle kiss-except… the spark wasn't there. It felt hollow, like it didn't mean anything… _'A serpent's kiss is as cold as its blood.' I guess it's been too long since we did more than play and mate, that's it._

Just before dinner I went downstairs, hoping to find Charis and spend a little more time with him. Sadly, all I found was that Umbreon… Aza… Azarus-I think she said something before I fled, but it's hazy. I know nobody pursued until Charis came looking for me, so at least she didn't want to hurt me. _I really didn't want her getting angry at me too… she looks so dangerous._

The meal was good… didn't eat much, but I haven't been hungry lately. Charis kept trying to get me to eat, so I got a few mouthfuls down to make him happy… _and to avoid the stares… I just want to be alone with him…. _Everyone was talking loudly, filling the room with such a happy drone that I excused myself, and went upstairs. Charis came up a while later, carrying a treat for both of us. I nibbled at it, but left most for him; he likes that kind of cookie.

We played a little more after that… once the nibble came, it was obvious bedtime was approaching. I submitted to him like morning, not really feeling anything beyond a sting of discomfort. _I could just sleep through it, and let his soft embrace be my world… 'or the sharp pain of him using you.' _His paws wound around my chest, holding me secure and driving away the day's fear and boredom. _'And replacing it with a hollow happiness.' _

Once he was done, Charis gave me a few licks and a kiss goodnight, squirming under the blanket, and leaving a hollow for me to squeeze in. _He's so cute when he sleeps… worn out from yet another busy day, resting in the land of dreams. 'While you live a waking nightmare, trapped within your own mind, lost to the events around you.' _With a yawn, I snuggled up to him, letting his paws pull me close; the warmth from his fur, and the constant thumping of his heart easing me into a dreamless sleep.

o0o0o0o0o0

The days began to melt into a blur of light and dark, punctuated only by the times when Charis was around. Sleep became just a normal state of mind, dormancy while waiting for the one who gave my conscious purpose. _'A retreat, while your mind continues to deny what is so plainly written in his actions.' I miss him… and I miss his brother being around to talk to… he probably hates me for what I did even more than for what I am._

Sometimes I dreamed, others… it was like an endless expanse of nothing, with only myself and the omnipresent memories to remind me that I still existed. So many happy times drifted along, carried by past laughter and smiles… a forgotten time, yet one I still clung to._ 'It doesn't have to be this way, but you refuse to do anything beyond feel pity for yourself, and pine over someone who doesn't care.' _

I… there was something else one day… another voice, a female one…. She talked about things; of love, asking me about how I came to know Charis… to know her son. _'The last voice of reason, in a dying world. Listen to her, for she is wise.' Why did she care? I'm nothing but a shadow, loved only by one…. 'No, mistreated by one, loved by no-one yet.' 'About you, trying to know you.'_

She stayed for a while before leaving to do something else, speaking so gently; like a mother trying to comfort her kit on a stormy night. _'She spoke like someone who cares, not that you would understand that feeling now.' She's just pretending, trying to weave past my defenses and tear me away from him. _Her smile… it was inviting, yet pained. The burden of what she had done weighed on her body greatly, yet she kept trying, pushing forward despite the pain.

Charis was back again later that day, wanting the same thing as always before a nap. I… don't remember it, only seeing his smile, that nibble and then-and then him snoring softly, holding me close as he slept peacefully. _I have all I could ever want in him… and all I give in return is myself; it's a fair trade. 'If you call being someone's whore a fair trade, which you shouldn't. You don't know love, you only know servitude.'_

Another day passed, though it hardly more than a few minutes; Charis' mother… Azarus, she offered me a bit to eat. I turned her down, but something… I think I smiled. _'You did more than that, you felt a real emotion.' _She was so nice… that voice reminded me of my own mother, who must be long gone. She rambled on about Charis' dad, sometimes stopping to ask me about things- nothing too personal, just… questions about me.

"I never would have expected Charis to find… well, another male to love. He was never the caring type, but I'm happy that he found someone to be that better half." She smiled, a warm look crossing her deep ruby eyes. _She… better half… _"I just hope he doesn't hurt you like he did Dracoris…" She turned away, smile flickering for a moment before returning.

"Still, you'll do him wonders." _I… I… _"I'm sorry to dump so much on you, but sometimes it just helps to talk your problems out, you know?" _She… she doesn't care… what I am doesn't bother her_…

"If I'm being a pest, just say so and I'll stop rambling… I just-I can't stop thinking about him. His smile, his laugh-ohh, and his cooking." _She's like an angel… a mother I had to turn away from after that one incident… and Sercous… what of him? Did I really care about him, too? I cared about him… could he have cared about me in return?_

'_You lost control, everyone does. So you turned away and lost yourself, you survived. Is this rough patch in your life going to claim again?' Why is she nice… it… no, she's just getting to know someone else here, before finding out what I am and hating me. 'She's being a mother, someone who looks past it all, and sees the child beneath. Maybe she even could love you like a mother.' _

After a while she left, but this time… a part of me wanted to follow. A whine caught in my throat, the dull ache of muscles straining against themselves spreading from my paws as I remained still. She… I wanted to run, but my body refused to listen. I was trapped, frozen in place by an unseen force… outwardly I was silent, still. Inwardly, I howled; crying out to the retreating figure… begging her to stay.

'_You're coming to, if not a bit too late. Perhaps there is hope after all….' No… she's just happy to have someone who will listen. Someone to confide in. 'She's happy to find someone who understands how she feels, and won't push her away. You should talk to her.' Why? She'll just push me away…. 'If you say so….'_

She was gone the next day, off to spend time with Charis' dad. _Was she happy? Did being with him make her heart skip a beat? Was he… was he the one for her?_ A feeling of jealousy flickered in my own heart, the tiny flame fighting against the darkness… against the loathing. _She had someone who might care… who might make her happy… but, I have Charis…_

'_You have a dream, something born of a shell that long ago fell away.' No, I have Charis! 'You have a lie, a conviction beaten into you from the bitter words of another. He's using you, and you're allowing it.' He loves me! 'If he loved you, would he say it? Would he make you feel like her? Or, would he continually derive pleasure from you, ask you, coax you into the same routine time and time again?'_

I waited quietly, staying out of sight of even Charis most of the day; he would only ask for the same thing, so what did it matter? So many others came and went, moving along their lives, oblivious of me hiding beneath a cabinet. For the first time, I felt… alone. Even when Charis found me and I obeyed his coaxing… it wasn't the same. And, as I expected he nibbled my ear… _He really does only want one thing from me…_

'_It's about time you accept the truth.' But… what if… 'Face it, he loves mating more than he loves you. You're just an outlet to gain that.' No… no, he wouldn't… 'He would. His brother tried to warn you, but you pushed him away. Don't let your second chance escape you.' But… Charis… 'His venom is striking finally, poisoning the last shreds of will left within you. Now is the time to strike back, or be consumed by it.'_

I barely felt his motions; only the sound of his groans and whines registered. _How can I fight something that was fated? 'Fate is an illusion, a way to fool ourselves into believing things are out of our control.' But... no, I can't... 'Then you're going to be his pet, just something he finds interesting.' _He kept going, oblivious to how I lay still, waiting for it to be over. _'The choice is there, but only you can make that move.' _

He left soon after, giving me a quick kiss before bounding off to be with his dad again. I started to follow, pausing as a rather odd sensation washed over me-a prickling, no... a tingling along my neck. The sensation spread, at first creeping along the skin beneath my mane, before crawling down my legs. It was like lying down too long, and suddenly trying to run.

The sensation lasted only a few moments, fading away and leaving me feeling... awake. _'Freedom is a strange thing; most view it as leaving a place they were held, others find it the sense of relief from clearing a burden. But, it can come in other forms; breaking away from an oppression.' I wasn't oppressed, he just... 'He kept you under his paw, using words and gestures to keep your mind content.'_

I bounded up the stairs, ignoring the contstant protest from my hindquarters; it felt good to feel pain. _I still love him... but, who do I love? Is it the Charis I first met... the Charis I know now...? 'Listen to your heart, find the voice buried beneath it all.' But... I thought... 'No, consider me just a messenger; the real voice is buried in you, waiting to be free once again.' I don't understand... 'In time little one, in time...' _

The dusty expanse opened before me, a familiar tangle of human junk and hollow space; a place to be free. With only a moment of hesitation, I dashed forward, aiming for the closest box. The floor was hard, every step sent a sharp jolt up that leg, muscle and bone straining against the force as I ran. At the last moment I turned, just brushing the side of it with my tail.

Running felt good, but it wasn't enough; every near miss sent a jolt of exhiliration through my veins, but it didn't shake the uneasiness. I ran for what felt like hours, dodging and weaving between the towering stacks; several times an ear or paw didn't make it past, sending more pain through my tiring body. It felt good... it felt real... it felt right. Yet, it was only a taste, just a sample of the main course.

Finally, with a muted yell I charged a large wooden trunk, crashing head first into it with all my remaining strength. The wood groaned and creaked, standing firm against the assault; an unyielding barrier denying me. The world exploded into shards of pain, tearing at my skull and neck with a wild abandon. It felt good. As I lay there, I cried... not from the pain of impact, but from the pain in my chest... the unyielding ache of a heart breaking.

o0o0o0o0o0


	15. Broken

o0o0o0o0o0

Night came and went, leaving only a few fleeting images behind; sleep was little more than closing my eyes, and shutting out the world until the sun rose again. It was a shroud pretending to be restful, but beneath the ghostly images that pretended to be dreams, the unease pulled strings, just as... as Charis pulled me along. He gave me a few licks, before the nibble that sent a shiver of dread down my spine came... it was morning, indeed.

The pain was welcome, but the mockery of happiness Charis tried to instill stung far worse. _What is love... I once thought that the intimacy of mating was it, but now I know. Am I looking in the wrong place, or just too weak to see beyond memories? _Charis hardly noticed that I was still, too wrapped up in his motions to even consider my feelings, my desires. _Did he ever? 'Your doubt is misplaced, worries aimed poorly.' How can I know?! How can I know anything is right or wrong!?_

He said something that escaped me, leaving with a kiss and a swish of his tail. _What is it... why can't it be like before? 'You let it happen. Charis saw your weakness, and acted as his nature dictated; in his interest.' Yet again, things fall on my head. 'Self-pity will only lead to a deeper sorrow. You can end this, but it will take strength, and time.' What if I'm wrong about this, too? Charis is the best thing that's happened to me. His distant nature, and additcion to mating can't last forever... can it?_

I got out of our basket a while later, considering just hiding in the attic for a while. But, a demanding growl from my stomach forced me to abandon that path. So, after making sure the hallway was clear, I bolted down the hall. _Maybe we can work this out... no, he'll just start talking sweet, maybe change for a few days before the nibble returns. _The stairs were harder to navigate with my hind legs threatening to seize up, but somehow I made it down without falling.

Breakfast had come and gone, but I was in luck; someone had left a paper plate on the floor with what looked like Charis' dad's cooking piled on one side. Nobody was around, and I was too hungry to care about Charis getting angry if I stole it; with a quick glance, I snatched a slice of something green and began eating. The taste was subtle, likely because it was still cold, but still good. I ate most of it, leaving only a few slices of onion and what tasted like bell pepper behind.

"I thought you might be hungry." Before I could even think of fleeing, a pair of glittering ruby eyes, and the distinct yellow rings of an Umbreon materialized from the refrigerator's shadow; a lithe form soon followed, stretching outward like darkness given form. She smiled faintly, flicking an ear before crouching low and staring at me intently. Her gaze was disarming... yet harsh at the same time; like she was watching me, waiting for just the right time to pounce...

"I didn't mean to scare you." Azarus chuckled softly, noting my panic. "Well, maybe leave you a bit uneasy but that's all." She laughed again, a grin cracking the velvet fur of her muzzle. She leaned back, arranging herself into a comfortable sitting position. I stood frozen on the spot, unsure of what to do. _'Reaching out is the first step toward changing a problem.' She's Charis' mother, though... she'll side with him. 'You won't know until you try.'_

"It's okay... thank you for the food, it was very nice..." I looked down, wanting nothing more than to be swallowed by the tile.

"So you can talk I was starting to wonder about you- Charis is always off with William, and when I'm with him- anyway, you're welcome." _She sounds... happy when saying his name... she must be confident that he won't hurt her. _"Since you're down here, would you like to do a few laps around the manor? It must get tiring being stuck indoors all day." I heard her stand and walk forward, stopping next to me. I glanced up, meeting that bright-eyed gaze... wanting to cry.

"I-I'd like that... thank you..." A dark paw brushed my cheek, tracing a line through fur; the tingling sensation of a claw's smooth edge just touching the skin below sent a shiver down my spine. I leaned into the motion, a purr beginning to rumble in my throat. _She... she's nice... like a friend.... 'Like someone who cares that you exist, and wants to see you smile again.' Like a mother... like mommy would have done. 'Perhaps she is, perhaps she's just someone who wants to know you. Why not go with her and find out?'_

"You don't need to thank me for everything. Around here we're all family, and family sticks together. Now come on, I'm itching to limber up a bit." With a wave of the same paw, Azarus turned and stared at the door. A moment later, the brass handle turned with a squeaking protest, opening with a soft click. The door itself opened silently, light pouring in through the opening; I blinked and squinted, looking away from the sudden glare.

"Catch me if you can!" With a laugh, she bounded out the door. I followed close behind, savoring the warm spring air rushing through my fur as I ran.

o0o0o0o0o0

Spring is such a nice time of the year, especially when you're a pent up ball of energy. It felt great to be free of the stuffy attic, and able to be in the open air again; Charis was gone so much that I couldn't go outside, because of the fighting going on. But, since Azarus invited me I was able to enjoy the day in the sun again. And, having someone... nice to play with, despite the size difference made it so much better.

The running was especially nice, as grass is much kinder on your paws than hard floors and carpet. We ran several laps, stopping only when she managed to pass me a second time; her legs were longer, and I couldn't keep up with that. She laughed, picking me up by the scruff as she passed; I went limp in her jaws, ignoring the constant jolt of pain from where she held on. Her laughter stung a little, but I knew it wasn't at my expense.

After she ran a few more laps with me in tow, we took a short break in the shade; it was still early, but that burst of activity made it seem later. The forest was quiet, aside from the occasional rallying howl, or a pidgey chirping out a warning. Thankfully, the tamed yard was big enough to allow us fair warning in case anything came charging out; quite comforting when you're small enough to be stepped on.

She talked about William a lot, sometimes asking me a question or offering to scrounge up a snack; I said no every time, but the offer was nice. Just being treated like something wanted was enough for me... and the way she looked at me. It wasn't anything in particular about her expression, or even the tone in her voice. I don't know what it was, but... she made me feel at ease. I nearly called her mommy once, but thankfully stopped before the word came out.

After that short break we started a small sparring match. Truthfully it was one sided, as she was three times bigger than me and much more experienced, but I got a few good shots in. Didn't help that the last tackle turned into her rolling aside and grabbing me with her forepaws, but I tried. I did try to squirm free of her grip, but all it took was one squeeze to stop that effort. She did let go eventually, but only after giving me a full bath... which was emberassing, yet nice at the same time.

Lunch was simple; a small bowl of mixed berries and fruit, with a bit of ice cream for dessert. She gave me a funny look when I spit out the bits of chocolate, but I don't really like it. It wasn't overly filling, but just the right thing for after a good workout; I like hot food more, but you shouldn't snub what an elder offers. I know the ice cream was more for her than me, but I ate it to be polite. Still... having something to eat that wasn't days old, or stolen was a welcome change. And having someone to eat with who actually talked to me made it nicer.

Most of the day after that was just doing whatever; a bit of hunting practice, another round of sparring, more running around the manor, all ending with both of us collapsing on a chair and relaxing in the dying light. _I had... fun... I enjoyed the day.... 'You experienced what living is. You got away from the cycle of use, and did something normal with another.' But, Charis... he must have noticed... if only because his fuck toy wasn't there. 'Because you took a chance, and didn't focus on the misery.'_

"It feels weird that things turned out like this. He rightly should hate me, or at the very least not want me around-I'm very glad he didn't push me away, but... it's just odd." She fidgeted, wrapping a paw around my chest and pulling me close. I squeaked in surprise, but didn't resist; the warmth from her fur was too inviting. "Maybe there is such a thing as fate, and it isn't trying to break me after all... or maybe-no, I'm just being stupid."

"Why question it? Love is love, and should be taken for what it is, not picked apart." The paw flexed, squeezing my chest for a moment; I squirmed against the tight grip, trying to avoid her accidentally breaking something. _Love is an amazing thing, and might fade if you push it too hard.... 'It also leaves you vulnerable if accepted blindly.' The heart is weak no matter what you do, though. 'Yes, but that's why you have a cage of bone to protect it.'_

"I just... I wonder about it. Does he really care, or was yesterday just a way for him to humor me? I mean, he did take me out to such a nice place. And the beach... ohh, it was gorgeous in the moonlight-nothing like seeing his smile, but still. " Azarus' paw held me close to her chest, toes wiggling into my mane unconsciously. "If I'm making you feel uncomfortable, just say so." She sighed, relaxing her grip on me.

"I don't mind... it must be nice to have him around a lot." I nuzzled into her soft fur, looking up at those glittering red pools; her warm gaze reflected the sadness of my own like a dark mirror. _It must be nice knowing you're wanted by your love... not just something to play with, or use. _The constant rise and fall of her chest was soothing, the rhythmic motion easing away the days aches. _'Love yourself first, and then you'll know what loving others is about.'_

"Hasn't Charis been with you a lot? He was being so affectionate that one time, I thought you two were strongly mated."

"He's... been busy, talking with his dad..." I sighed again, fighting down the tears. _Crying won't solve anything, and I don't want her pity like that. _Azarus shifted her weight, resting her head on mine.

"Don't you two play, or at least see each other?" The warm air, combined with Azarus' own body heat was making me sleepy, dulling the aches and putting me at ease.

"No, he's gone a lot... and when he's around it's... not very fun. But, he loves me and I love him... he's just busy right now." The words were bitter on my tongue, leaving behind a bad aftertaste. _'Lies taste good only to those they help, never to those they hurt.' _

"Love shouldn't be about waiting for them, or trying to make due with what they shove upon you. I'm not one to talk about being good at it, but I also know that it should be a two-way street. I... I loved someone for a very long time, and never could express it. And now... now I have a chance to make it right. You should do the same-stand up for what you want, and don't let others say what you must settle for." _'Don't bow to the whims of a selfish child, stand up for your feelings, and make them real.'_

"You love him, yet he's leaving you behind to pursue his own interests. Does that sound like someone who really cares, or someone who's dragging you forward while they do their own thing?" She paused, squriming onto her back and pulling me onto her chest. "You're a sweet little thing, and I don't want to see you hurt. At the same time, it's not my life to choose for." I looked down at her, blinking as my eyes began to water.

"Don't make the same mistakes I did. Tell him how you feel, before the emotions overcome your judgement and make you do something foolish." Her other paw brushed my cheek, before wrapping around my chest and squeezing gently. _She... she cares.... 'She wants to see you happy, despite how you believed otherwse.' But... Charis- 'Charis is using you, and your stupid devotion to him is only making it worse.' No... no, it can't be- 'Face it, he only wants what you body, not your heart.'_

"Come on, you'll feel better after a bit of running and some dinner." She let me go, rolling to the side without warning. I squeaked as the world spun for a moment, ending with me lying in a heap on the ground. Azarus just laughed and picked me up, unfortunatly taking my confusion as an invitation for another bath. _She's so much like mommy was... 'Maybe she is your mommy, if only emotionally.'_

o0o0o0o0o0

In the morning, Charis went back to his same routine; wake up, stretch, and give me that nibble. A part of me wanted to say no, but I just sighed and got into position for him to use me yet again. The weight on my body barely registered over the searing pain... I fought back the urge to cry, if only so Charis wouldn't continue his charade after getting what he wanted.

As expected, once his craving was satisfied Charis gave me a goodbye kiss and bounded off. _If only you knew that your goodbye... that it was the last one... _I watched him go, even smiling as he turned to make sure I was okay. _Charis... why did it come to this... why.... 'Charis serves only one master: himself. Deep down he may love you, but is it worth suffering a posible lifetime of abuse to gain it?' I... I don't know anymore... I just want the pain to stop._

Nobody was around, making getting to the kitchen a simple task. It was there that I found Charis' dad cooking... he let me outside to take care of a few things, saying to follow Azarus back when I was ready, and to let her know that breakfast was almost ready. I just nodded quietly, slipping out the door; I kept my tail low, to make it convincing. _I can do this... _

The morning air was cool, dew covered the lawn even as the sun's rays warmed the earth, burning off the droplets. I walked through the wet grass, hardly feeling as it soaked through my fur. _Charis... 'Only you can decide how this will end. Choose wisely.' Goodbye. _The pain of those weeks came in a flood, so many times he used me... so many lies... so much pain.... Ignoring the blur I took off, not looking back even as the forest loomed over me.

To be continued...


	16. Fallen: Lonely road

Disclaimer: anything you recognize from the anime, manga, or other published work is copyright the respective owners. Everything else is mine, so please don't be a thief; Shadowbane doesn't appreciate it.

**Fallen**

Sunlight poured through the window, barely hindered by the thin white curtains covering it, the warm rays lighting up Dad's room nicely. Beige walls gave way to dark green carpeting, the change from light to dark broken only by the furniture. His dresser stood with the top drawer open, something blue… a shirt I think hung out like a tongue of cloth, mocking me for looking. Several books were stacked next to it like a ladder, though experience told me that climbing on such a slippery stack was a bad idea.

I took a moment to gauge my jump, knowing full well the 'talk' that would happen if I clawed the sheets a second time. _Dad really needs to put something to get up with; not all of us have long legs. _A pair of gray ears appeared at the top, followed by a pointed head staring down at me. "Need some help?"

"Nope, I can make this jump; been practicing on the stairs." The feline head grinned, a small spot of red on his forehead flashing in amusement. I ignored him, focusing on the jump at hand. _Okay, pretend that you're walking forward… back legs do the work… _with a wiggle I sprang forward. The quilt Dad had spread came up too quickly; I fought back the urge to extend my claws, instead slamming chest first against the cushioned surface. Thankfully, Dad moved forward and caught me by the scruff… embarrassing as it was. "Thanks…"

"Anytime." He mumbled through a mouthful of fur, chuckling as he pulled me up. "You need to stop sneaking so many snacks, unless you want to end up really being a ball of fluff." He chucked again, setting me down gently on the bed. I shook myself down, giving him the most innocent gaze I could muster.

"But Daad, your cooking is too good..." The thick field of bedding threatened to swallow me up as I rolled onto my side, patting my belly in jest. "Besides, a little chubbiness is good for you; nothing like something soft to snuggle with."

"Right…" He flopped onto the bed, stretching out in a patch of sunlight. "I wouldn't know, really… the last person I ever cuddled was a human, and that was a long time ago." His tail twitched slowly, the forked ends rubbing together nervously.

"You still haven't asked Mom, have you?"

"No…" He looked past me, staring at a point only he could see. "I still haven't said a word to her."

"What's the big problem? Just sit down and talk it out like we've been doing here." It took a lot of effort, but I managed to crawl across the ever-shifting quilt, lying next to Dad with a sigh. "Just bake something sweet and talk it over a bite to eat."

"Charis, it's not that simple… I can't find the right words when she's around." He turned away, shifting his weight nervously. "Everything is there, but it never comes out."

"Dad, you'll never know unless you try. Isn't that what you always told us?" I shuffled closer, trying to nudge his foreleg up enough to squeeze under. "Just pin her down and ask; it'll feel better once you know either way." The rapid thump of his heart rang in my ears, like the rapid beat of a drum against my skull. The Espeon I was squirming against sighed, rolling just enough to allow me closer.

"… Sound logic, but that doesn't always work in emotional matters. It still hurts, even after searching myself for an answer. She used me out of what she thought was love, violating a trust built over years. It's more than just shrugging off the incident and moving on, at least to me." He sighed again, curling his tail so it pinned me close. "I… it's hard to ask that of someone you've known for so long. She's been at my side through so much. She was there during the divorce, when everything we had fell into ruin, and through raising you." He chuckled, running the forked ends along my chest, electing a giggle from me. "And only now did she make any sort of move… and it had to be like that."

"Dad-" The loud bang of a door being wrenched open and slammed cut my reply short. Dad flinched, squeezing my chest, mumbling a soft 'Azarus' under his breath. The Umbreon in question was standing in the doorway; the bright yellow glow surrounding her body was matched only by the fury burning in her dark red eyes. She stood there for a moment, glancing upward at the petrified Eon before returning her glare to me.

"Charis Ketchum, get over here!" The voice that had been so kind before was nearly a snarl, fueled by a mother's wrath. _What did I do…? _Dad tightened his grip, moving to shield me from the enraged Umbreon a few feet away.

"Why-what did he do?" Mom glanced up at Dad again, her eyes not meeting his.

"His mate ran away today, and he should find out why." _Blackwind ran away? Hopefully Shadowbane didn't bully him or something… I don't want to deal with him being clingy right now. _She glanced back, as if second guessing herself before walking forward, eyes fixed on Dad. "Like it or not, some things are more important than playtime; your father-son bonding can wait." She growled the last part, a glint of ivory showing against her black fur.

"He's gone out to sulk, give it a few hours and he'll be back." _And get a good piece of my mind when he does._ A snarl was the only warning either of us had before a very angry Umbreon charged, leaping forward and catching Dad in the stomach with her head. The world became a blur of colors, as in the confusion Dad let off a burst of psychic energy, wrenching the open drawer free and spraying the room with various pieces of clothing. Another snarl followed by a squeak of pain, and then the world calmed again; Mom was standing over me, a mouthful of needle sharp teeth hovering inches above my neck.

A part of me wanted to cry out, but it was silenced by fear; the predatory way she leaned close sent a shiver down my spine. It was in that moment that Dad started yelling, his forked tail vanishing from sight as a lump of red, gray and black slid off the bed. _She's gonna-_ in a flash her muzzle descended, fangs digging through the course ring of fur around my neck and finding purchase on the loose skin below. I tired to struggle, but it was in vain; between the iron grip of her jaw, and the numbness spreading down my spine I was at her mercy.

A muffled protest is all Dad could muster before she turned and leapt from the bed, holding fast despite how the sudden motion shook me like a rag doll. The pain came and went, mixed with steady jolts as Mom bounded from the room; carpet, walls, and railings blurred into a blur of color. A gray blob was trailing behind, moving in and out of my vision with every painful swing _Blackwind, if this is a game… _Sunlight assaulted us as Mom all but ran through the back door, the world no longer spinning.

"Find his scent, follow it." Mom growled through her teeth, tossing me roughly to the grass. I stood up slowly, blinking several times in a vain attempt to see in the late morning glare. Fortunately, the grass hadn't been done in a while, so my abrupt landing was softer than expected; it didn't help the ache in my neck, but it was something. A warm breeze blew across the open ground, whistling through the tall blades, carrying the scent of Rabuta blooms with it.

Rather than argue with a very pissed off Umbreon, I shook myself down and started sniffing at random patches, pretending to be searching for traces of Blackwind. _What business is of hers anyway? Blackwind probably went out for some exercise, or to relax away from the chaos. _The thick stench of Mightyena and Absol clung to the grass and dirt, making it tough to even smell my own paws, let alone find a scent close to it. But, after some faking I did pick up a faint trail headed north.

"He headed to the woods. Should I follow it?" Mom only grunted in response, walking forward and motioning with a paw. I followed obediently, pretending to search for other traces of the runaway. _Dad wouldn't make me do this… or at least he'd be gentler about it. Blackwind and I are fine; he just wants attention, and can't wait until Dad and I are finished- _A warning growl snapped me back to the task at hand. As we walked, the scent grew stronger; several times it doubled back, like he was chasing something before continuing toward the thick tree line. _Just like him to mess things up._

"Stay close, the woods are still dangerous." Mom paused, glancing back at the manor once before stepping off the soft grass. A carpet of brown stretched outward, the pine needles crackling like tiny twigs with every cautious step. The air was alive with sound; a few Rattata were gnawing on a large pine cone, while a third chattered something to itself, screeching out a warning as Mom glanced their way. _A nice day spoiled by this… why can't he go play with Dracoris or something? _I stuck close, more worried about her wrath than any would-be predator.

"Azarus, stop right now!" Both of us paused mid step, looking back toward the sharp voice. Dad was limping across the lawn, dragging a black t-shirt with him. "I demand you explain yourself!" His fur bristled, tail lashing the air wildly, the gem on his forehead giving off a pale blue glow. Mom held her ground, replying with a chilling calm in the face of the enraged feline.

"I'm simply doing what you either were too naïve to see, or are ignoring because of your own emotional wounds." She huffed loudly, her breath coming out in a low hiss. "Say what you will, but your words will not stop me." With that, Mom glanced over at me, motioning with her head. Obediently I turned away from my last hope, tail dragging through the sharp needles.

"Aza-hey, don't walk away from me!" His shouting fell on deaf ears as Mom moved forward cautiously, ears moving constantly; not that it mattered, as Dad's shouting had driven everything within half a mile into hiding, if the lack of chittering, chirping, and other sounds was any sign. "Wait up at lea-whoa!" His arguing ended in a loud squeak, followed by a thud as the shirt caught on something, sending him to the ground.

"Dad, are you-"

"Leave him! You have something more important to do."

"But-"

"But nothing. He's an adult, and tripping over a branch will do little harm to him." Mom growled, pawing at the ground. "Your mate could be in trouble out here." I huffed loudly at that, daring a look into the blood red pools staring down at me.

"He's grown on the inside, and should be smart enough not to get himself hurt." _And if he did, it's his own fault for running outside without me to watch over him. _If looks could kill, I would have died on the spot from the glare she fixed me with. Time slowed as a blur of black and yellow leapt forward, paws that could be soft as velvet digging into my chest and stomach like lead weights.

"And you're nothing more than a spoiled brat being told no. You deserve nothing more than to be smacked, but it's no longer my place to make that decision." Her voice trailed off into a snarl, the stench of rotting meat washing over my muzzle with every breath. "It's his." As quickly as she had pounced, she let me go; without hesitation I rolled onto my stomach, fighting down breakfast because of the stench.

"Yes, Mom." _It's none of your business… *sigh* today is going to be rotten, and it's his fault. _It took some effort to not whine about the sharp needles digging into my skin, but a little annoyance was better than pushing the already short fuse that was Mom.

"Good." She shook herself down, ears flapping loudly against her skull. "Now, find his scent again. None of us should be out here longer than needed." With that, she took a step forward, pausing long enough to motion for me to follow before continuing. _Sometimes I wonder… why does he have to do this to me? I do my best to spend time with him, and make him feel wanted around the manor. Sure, Dad and I have a lot of catching up to do, but it's been a long time since we've spoken-and even then it was more arguing and anger than anything, so there's a lot to do. _

The crunching of paws against dried twigs and needles became a drone, droning out the normal sounds of the forest. _We could be home, and not moving through warring pack territory; he could have just hidden in the attic, or at least had the decency not to head this far out. _ The scent grew stronger, backtracking several times like its owner was fleeing. _Figures he wouldn't even do this right. _

"Azarus, is this really necessary? I can find him faster-"

"Charis has to do this." Mom stopped mid step, staring forward. Her rings glowed dully, fighting the gloom like a dying candle.

"But-" Dad moved forward to argue, but was stopped with a growl. She turned, fixing her blood red eyes first on me, and then on Dad. "Azarus, this is foolish. We could be out here for an hour chasing scents and shadows. Why not rely on something safer?" The branches swayed in a sharp breeze, their quiet rattle like a crash of thunder in the silence.

"Sometimes we must endure hardships to understand our failures." She sighed, looking at the ground; the light faded, flickering once before dying. _And sometimes we have to put up with philosophical parents being nosy. _"You can either come along quietly, or leave; it is not your place to interfere." With that, she turned toward me, motioning with her raised paw. "Go." _Blackwind, you better have a good excuse for this. _

o0o0o0o0o0

The sun rose higher above the trees, its light pooling in inviting patches along the forest floor. _We're wasting a perfectly good day searching for that jerk. Mom and Dad could be talking things out, not dragging me by the ears to find you! _I smacked a pine cone in frustration, scowling as a blue and white blob scurried out of its way. _You're ruining everything! _"Why can't we go home? He'll come back eventually."

"Charis, would you like it if we left you alone in the middle of nowhere?" She paused, flicking an ear in thought before turning. "Don't you care that he could be hurt, or dying alone?" A look I hadn't seen in a long time shone in her deep red eyes; pity, and that motherly instinct so often given to Dracoris… and not me. _At this point, that's questionable. _I kept that thought to myself, instead trying to give her an innocent look.

"Of course I do, but we're wasting time chasing scents and tracks when Dad-"

"-Could be chasing a cornered Rattata and not your mate." Her motherly tone grated my nerves, but I kept my composure. "Sensing emotion and thought is not reliable if you don't know your target very well." She glanced over at the feline, a faint smile crossing her muzzle. "And being lost in thought doesn't help that problem."

"It's still better than practically serving ourselves up to the first predator hungry enough to attack." I paused, looking over at the mumbling feline before pawing at a twig. "I don't want to be responsible for you or Dad being hurt…" _Even though it's his fault._

"Your father and I are more than capable of fending off any would-be predator, unlike Blackwind."

"Then why don't you go find him? I'm just a hassle out here."

"Because it's your duty to be there for your mate, even when things are tough." I huffed to myself, biting back the urge to reply. _Why argue with her? She's on HIS side anyway… just like before._ _It's not like you would listen to my side anyway; he's your favorite, isn't he? I bet you don't even care about me, because you have a new crybaby to give all your love to! _"Having a mate isn't all about hugs and smiles; you have to accept that things will be hard, and stick with it through those times." _Or whine and cry until you get what you want, just like HE used to. _

"Yeah." I mumbled, focusing more on searching for any sign of the runaway than her nagging. The ground was barely visible beneath the thick layer of drying needles, making finding any prints difficult at best. _You still drag your tail; I hate having to keep on you about how dusty it gets, but for once it serves a purpose. _The trail was fresh; several twigs lay snapped under paw, along with several strands of brown fur clinging to a fallen branch gave a meant he was close.

"There." Mom stopped, motioning toward a rotting stump with her left paw. Gnarled roots clung to the soil defiantly, hiding a small opening from the casual eye. A clump of white fur hung on one of the exposed roots, like a bit of moss clinging to the dead wood. A faint mewing echoed from the darkened entrance, followed by a hiccup and a burst of crying. _Figures he just wanted to be alone and cry. _"Charis, go. We'll wait outside."

"But-" I tried to protest, but a sharp glare stopped it. "Fine." _You owe me BIG for this! _With a huff I walked forward, leaning close and peering into the darkness. A pair of black eyes met my own, what little light pierced the sheltered hole refracted through tears clinging to a formless muzzle. "Don't start with that, it's just me." Before Mom could yell at me again I crawled forward, grunting as a root dug into my back.

"Wh-hat are you d-doing here?" He choked on the words, sniffling loudly. The den of sorts was barely big enough for both of us to stand in, likely from being dug by a Rattata or some other small creature. Blackwind was huddled against the far wall, the outline of his body barely visible in the blackness.

"Coming to retrieve you, that's what." I snapped, taking a step forward. "Now come on, Dad's waiting for us."

"N-no…" He mumbled, hiccupping again.

"What do you mean 'no'? Do you know how long I've been out here looking for you?" I took another step forward, claws digging into the dried grass lining the floor. I could smell his fear; it hung in the cramped hole like a sickly perfume. He whimpered as I approached, mumbling something under his breath. A few more tears rolled down his already soaked cheeks, splashing to the ground with a soft patter.

He tried to back up further, pressing his tiny body against the hard earth to look smaller. _So that's it, you want HER to rescue you, don't you? _The only response I got was a choked squeak, his voice giving out in a coughing fit. "I said, what do you mean 'no'?"

"I don't want to…" As my eyes adjusted to the low light, the outline of his body came into focus. Blackwind was pushed against the packed earth wall, tail curled against his stomach in a defensive way. A constant tremble wracked his body, breath coming in shallow bursts in between sniffles and coughs.

"Too bad, we need to get going." Rather than wait for another protest or more crying I walked forward, nudging his indistinct form in search of a place to grab. His fur reeked of dirt and whatever else those filthy rodents had been eating, causing me to pause and try to fight down the irritation at having to touch it.

"Charis, please-" His plea ended in a muffled cry as I found a clump of mane, biting down on the dirty white fur and tugging roughly. Blackwind mewled in protest, flailing to the point I had to let go or lose a tooth. "Leave me alone." He rolled onto his side, shielding himself with his forepaws.

"We don't have time for your stupid games! Now come on!"

"No, leave me alone." He wiped at his muzzle with a paw, holding the other close to his chest. The look in his eyes hardened for a moment, before a fresh set of tears began to form. _I'm the spoiled brat? He's the one refusing to listen! _

"Stop crying, you're no better than my pathetic little brother!" Without thinking I lashed out, intending to only smack a little sense into the crybaby. Instead he howled out in pain, pawing at a set of thin gashes along his lip. "Grow up, it's not that bad." The crying grew louder as his tears drained into the wound, flowing along the cut. _I hate that sound… its how Dracoris got his way. Its how he got the attention I deserved! _

My body moved on its own, lashing out a second time; his cry of pain only spurred me on, the pitiful sound ringing in my ears like music. _You were weak, you were nothing yet they loved you! Everyone cared about frail little Drac. _I lashed out a third time, moving closer to the sobbing form beneath me; his voice cracked, trying to say something amidst the crying. _I can't even have a mate to love without them turning on me! _

His body was soft in my jaws, like biting into a squirming piece of bacon; with every ounce of strength my anger could muster I kicked, driving both hind legs into his gut like a piston. _I couldn't be near you without them watching me, judging me! _Everything went red as I lashed out, biting and kicking without rational thought. _I was just a burden to them, something more to control than to love! _His sobs turned to whimpers, a metallic tang filling my mouth.

The blows flowed naturally, each one shaking loose more memories of him. _They wouldn't have saved me if I had fallen, they only cared about you! You were their special child, the one they babied. _The body beneath me fell still, barely reacting with each fresh attack. _They only loved you… I was in the way; only good as an attack dog for Kera… even she didn't care about me. _

The smell of blood grew stronger with each passing second, like a stream of life slowly flowing around me. _Why, that's all I want to know. Why do they love you more?! _With a final kick I let go, spitting out a soggy clump of fur and struggling to stand.

"I'm sorry…" Blackwind choked out, whining as he tried to curl into a ball. His fur was matted with blood; several patches of fur had been torn loose, the skin beneath striped crimson with claw marks. "Please, I'm sorry…" His eyes were squeezed shut, a constant stream of blood-stained tears falling to the dry ground. "Don't hurt me… I promise to listen…" I stepped back, nearly tripping over my own paws. It was a nightmare, it had to be... _He... I... what have I done…? _

A jolt of pain shattered that feeble hope, reminding me that it was real; I fell limp, giving no resistance to the mouth gripping me. The last thing I saw before the world went dark was Blackwind lying crumpled on the ground, blood trickling from countless scratches and bites. _What have I done…?  
_

o0o0o0o0o0


	17. Cycle of hurt

The windowsill offered little comfort aside from a place to rest; Mom had opened it before slamming the door shut, saying without words that I was to stay here for the night. _All I did was try to knock some sense into him..._ I watched as the sun sank below the tree line, tinting the evening sky a deep shade of orange; what remained of the dying orb stared out between the tall pines, gazing at me like some infernal eye.

_He wouldn't listen, so I got a bit rough. It's not like he's going to die, or even be hurt for more than a few days. _I sighed, stretching out and resting my head on my paws. _They're the ones over reacting to this; Balckwind is just being a crybaby, and getting attention from Mom. I didn't do anything that bad to him. _A few pidgey were calling out in their own off key manner, warning of the predators soon to awaken in the coming dusk.

_It's not fair, but when has it been with them? I'm always wrong, and the one who cries is right- _My thoughts were broken as someone tapped on the door; I growled to myself, turning away from the sunset and standing. A second knock came moments later, followed by a nervous voice muttering something inaudible. _Things keep getting better… _

The door gave a soft click, swinging open just enough to permit a slender gray paw to squeeze through. It paused, feeling along the floor before retreating. Soon it was replaced by a pointed head nudging the open door, a pair of mismatched eyes peering in through the narrow gap nervously. I growled audibly, fighting down the urge to snap at the one staring in. Instead, I took a moment to stretch, watching as the pointed head nudged the door open wide enough to see properly.

"What do you want?" The thin feline shivered, split ended tail wrapping tightly around a set of slender paws. _Figures Dad would send Dracoris up here; probably doesn't want to see me without Mom to restrain him. _He tried to speak, but only managed to utter a strained squeak before looking down and muttering again. "Well, spit it out."

"Dad says it's time for dinner." He said, not looking me in the eye. "He told me to make sure you came down, as you were distant when they brought you back." There was a note of concern in his voice, barely audible over the nervous squeak threatening to cut his words off. _Hmph, I was just thinking about a lot of things. They don't need to send an escort, especially not him._

"So they sent you to see if I was awake, and feeling up to being yelled at. Why don't they send up a plate of something, and lock me in here for the night." I growled, gnawing at a dark stain on my paw. "Go away." Dracoris gave his tail a short flick, tucking the forked ends between his forepaws.

"Bud Dad-"

"-Told you to let me know it's dinner time, and you did." I grunted around a mouthful of paw, focused more on removing the lump than continuing our conversation. The clump of matted fur was bitter, probably from swatting at a pine cone, or brushing against a freshly broken branch. It took several licks and bites, but the patch finally began to loosen, spreading the foul taste into my mouth. "I'm not hungry."

"Charis… what's bothering you?" I ignored the question, gnawing on the matted fur loudly to get my indifference across. "It isn't like you to say no to a meal, especially when Dad cooks."

"Nothing is bothering me, and it's none of your damn business anyway." I snapped, slapping the wall with my tail. _Of all the-nothing is wrong, I'm simply not interested in food! And what right does he have of asking me that kind of question!_ "If it'll make Dad happy I'll come down in a bit."

"If you don't want go, nobody's making you." Dracoris muttered, tapping the floor with his tail in annoyance. "I was only asked to tell you, not force the issue."

"Then why are you still here bothering me?" With a few more bites, and a rather painful yank the sticky glob came loose, leaving behind a thinned section of fur. _One annoyance down, one to go… _

"Because I thought you might like the company, but I was wrong. If you do choose to grace us with your presence, do try to be civil; the manor is cold enough already." I turned to reply, but he was already gone; an annoying hum fading down the hallway announcing his departure. _Good riddance._

The room felt empty without a voice to fill the void, which suited me fine; Dracoris was hardly someone I wanted to talk with, especially if he was going to start trying to pity me. _Where does he get off, waltzing in here acting like I need someone to talk to? Dad probably sent him because of some misguided thought that brotherly bonding would get me to open up. _With a grunt I stood, licking at a stray patch of fur and spitting out the soggy clump before jumping down.

It was tempting to crawl into bed, and sleep the rest of the day off; Dad would come up later, either to yell at me for being a-social and ignoring his demand, or bring a few leftovers and try to 'make things up', and work things back toward normal. Instead I made my way across the room, glancing over at the inviting basket once, shaking off a sudden bout of drowsiness in favor of getting it over with.

I paused, looking back at the window; night was approaching fast, the last waning light dancing across the dirty white sill, curtains fluttering in a soft breeze. The inviting sunset made me want to turn back and face whatever shouting would be added for now showing up, and enjoy a little more peace. But, a loud growl from my stomach settled the matter; with one final glance toward my waiting perch I turned, and squeezed though the door. _Better to eat and get yelled at, than starve and get yelled at I guess._

The hallway was deserted, what light came from a dim bulb by the stairs was quickly swallowed by the darkness, making seeing even with good night vision difficult. Dark green carpet extended into the blackness, melting into the distance like an overgrown path. The sickly white-ish wallpaper looked alive, bubbling ever so slightly as I stared at it-probably just my imagination trying to make things worse than they were. Even the line of doors felt moodier than usual; each one stared into the darkened corridor, blocking the passage of anyone wishing to escape the gloom.

I stopped halfway into the darkened room, ignoring a tingling sensation crawling up my spine. _Afraid of the dark… what am I, seven months old? It's just Dad being cheap about lighting, nothing more. _The feeling passed slower than I would have liked, fading into a nag that wouldn't leave so easily. _At least it's spring and not winter; darkness is better than facing the cold. _With a shrug I stepped into the hall, pushing my hindquarters against the door in an attempt to open it a little further. Naturally, the heavy frame resisted my half-hearted attempt, letting out only a tortured groan for my trouble.

"Fine, be that way. Stupid door." I growled, kicking the stubborn door firmly. _Hopefully I'm not expected to be happy and cheerful with everyone; it's too hard to fake that kind of thing, especially around a group who probably hate me now. _With a confident step I moved forward, glancing one last time at my room before breaking into a trot._ Dad puts too much into keeping everyone together as family. I doubt half of them even care outside it being a solid meal. And for that matter, why can't I just eat in my room? I don't make a mess, and Dracoris can play daddy's boy by picking up the dish. _

The hallway felt endless, each closed door standing like a blocked exit from the constant gloom. It was like the darkness clung to every surface, crawling along the floor and walls like an unseen monster, waiting to swallow anyone foolish enough to travel alone. I stopped once, fighting down a shiver: it would do no good to let fear over nothing sink in too far. _Come on, control yourself… you're an adult; it's just a dark hallway, nothing more. Why am I talking to myself? _

The dull boom of a clock shattered the silence, causing me to leap into the air and bolt for the stairs, tail flailing behind wildly with every bound. A second chime filtered up the stairway, growing louder even as the note trailed off; by the third I was at the edge, looking down the long flight of steps and breathing hard. _Stupid, stupid! Scared of a clock… I'm no better than him now. _The fourth chime was more bearable as the shock wore off, yet it still sent a surge of panic through me. _Must be nice to have nothing but repetition expected of you… damn it, now I sound like Dracoris. _

The stairs were another matter entirely; a sudden sound you can dismiss as being jumpy, but staring down at a series of descending shelves, knowing very well that you're small enough to slip and roll down them is harder to fight down. _Just lean forward and hop; nothing to it… easy to say. _I took a deep breath, focusing on the next stair down and jumping; a less than perfect landing later left me crouched right at the edge, claws dug into the rough carpet just in case. _One down, many more to go…_

o0o0o0o0o0

Thump, thump, thump: it became a rhythm, blending into the growing tick of Dad's clock. _I bet Dracoris wasn't told by Dad to get me; probably wanted to play the nice Eon and find out how I'm feeling. All I wanted was a bit of time to think about things, and enjoy what little light was left. That's too much to ask for of course; it's always what everyone else wants, or demands as the case may be. Get this over with, and get some rest; that's all I want right now. Maybe then I-_

"-skin you alive!" I froze mid hop, instinctively crouching down and looking around wildly. The sudden shout was shortly followed by a crash of metal against wood, and a high pitched laugh. _Great, sounds like things are about to get even more difficult. _As if on cue, the thunder of heavy paws against carpet echoed through the small entryway, along with the laughter growing to a deafening level. _Who did she aggravate this time…? _

I didn't have long to wait for the answer; like clockwork a blur of white shot through the room, crossing the entryway in a few strides. _There goes the agitator… _Hardly a second later, a slower form appeared from the living room, pausing to look down the side hallway before pursuing. _And the agitated… _With a growl the shadowy canine vanished, hot in pursuit of the resident trickster.

Once again the hallway was deserted, save for myself sitting on the stairs and staring at where the two had vanished. _She's still at it… why does dad even put up with her anymore? _Only the constant tick answered the unspoken question, each stroke offset by the rapid hammering of my heart. _Hmph, I bet Dracoris would have loved it if I was trampled by them; probably why he insisted on getting me downstairs. _

With a quiet growl I hopped down the last steps, glancing once at the living room doorway. An eerie calm hung in the air, despite the sudden burst of activity only moments before. The last light of sunset crept through every gap in the front door, reflecting off the clock's glass front and pooling in odd patches. The same dull green carpet covered the entryway floor, checkered with muddy paw prints from several different Pokémon.

"Guess he doesn't bother cleaning in here." I muttered, tearing my gaze away from the empty doorway. The chances of the other resident agitator setting someone else off was low, but better to wait and be sure, than end up stomped on by one or more sets of large paws. _And better to wait until Dracoris is gone. _My stomach growled in protest, but I bit my lip and turned away. _Another few minutes, that's all._

_I wish they would just leave us alone. Blackwind and I were happy until HE started playing games, and trying to ruin my life. Hmph, I bet they really do hate my choice and think that by pushing us apart things will be better, even though it's my life! _I stared into the polished glass front, frowning. The little trip into the woods, combined with being thrown around like a doll had left my fur a mess. _And to top it off, it's going to take forever to get clean again._

The scent of freshly baked bread and roast meat drifted through the small entryway, filling the air with a mouth watering aroma. _*sigh* Damn it… I can't wait any longer. _Swallowing my pride I stood up, giving my fur a few half-hearted licks to smooth down the worst patches. A long bead of saliva clung to my lip, hanging like a spider thread before breaking off and landing on the carpet soundlessly. _Just eat and go, don't let Dracoris draw you into a long conversation, or try any of his head games. _

It was hard not to break out into a run and follow the tantalizing scent, but between not wanting to blunder into someone, and trying to keep some dignity I managed to walk at an even pace. _Hopefully its pot roast tonight, though anything but fast food would be nice. Mmm, maybe dad did that great stir-fry again. Nah, that would take too long to feed everyone. It's probably something simple, which is fine._

Soon, the smell became strong enough to identify what it was: baked and buttered rolls, grilled fish with herbs, and mixed vegetables with just a hint of something else rolled together into a mouth watering aroma. I quickened my pace, hardly looking where I was going and letting the wonderful scent lead me across the living room. _Mmm, razz pie… I haven't had that in so long… okay, calm down. Walk in slowly, don't look desperate-or too hungry-; I'm just here to eat and go. _

"Did you see the look on his face? it was priceless!" A deep voice boomed, shortly followed by a barking laugh. "So much for being the calm and collected type." Another laugh followed, this time joined by several other voices all talking at once. I paused, taking a quick glance into the dining room before crouching low and dashing into the chaos.

The sound was deafening: a dozen voices shouting to be heard, metal scraping and clattering against glass, loud plops of water being lapped from glasses, and other things not clear enough to identify all blended together into the chaos that was dinner conversation. I clenched my jaw, forcing myself to weave through the maze of chair legs, keeping an eye out for any low hanging tails and searching for an empty seat.

It didn't take long to find one, though the sight of who was seated next to it made me consider waiting under the table and picking off scraps. A familiar split-ended tail curled around one wooden leg, gripping the glossy surface tightly. Next to it was a stack of books arranged like a ladder, leading to an obviously planned vacancy. _*sigh* He doesn't quit… _as if reading my mind-which he probably was- the tail uncurled, beaconing me forward with a 'come on' motion.

_Just eat and go, don't look over and give any sort of encouragement… I'd rather eat off the floor than try and shout to be heard by him. _Stairs are bad enough to climb, but trying to struggle up a pile of slippery books is torture. Every step was nerve wracking: I could feel the glossy covers sliding against each other with each step, threatening to send me tumbling to the floor in a heap. It didn't help that on the last book a sense of weightlessness washed over me-which meant that Daddy's boy was being 'helpful' again.

With one final desperate hop my paws left the unstable stack and touched solid wood again. My relief was short lived; a similar stack of books was set in the middle of the seat, set even with the table edge. The topmost one looked rough, probably meant to be safe to jump onto. _Or to be uncomfortable. _Part of me still wanted to wait on the floor for something to drop, but hunger won over anger.

"I'm glad you chose to join us." I flicked an ear in dismissal, pretending not to hear Dracoris over the roar. "Dad was getting worried that you were locked in, or fell down the stairs." _Yeah, I'm sure it was all his idea for you to fetch me, and try to guilt me into coming down, too. _Rather than acknowledge his presence further, I sprung onto the makeshift seat, and settled in.

For how rotten a day it had turned out to be, dinner was rapidly making up for it. A slab of lightly browned Goldeen was arranged on a plate, flanked by a mound of steamed green beans flecked with red pepper, and half a roll with butter already melting into the soft center pushed down the irritation at sitting next to my annoying brother.

The smell of butter and lemon-pepper was overpowering, driving out all other thoughts in a wave of hunger. Without waiting for further invitation, I planted my forepaws onto the table and bit into the hunk of fish, purring as the tender flesh melted on my tongue. A bitter glaze mixed with the milder fish taste, with just a hint of thyme to offset the lemon. I rolled my eyes back, reluctantly swallowing the mouthful and digging in properly.

I tore through the slab of fish like a rabid Poochyena, pausing only long enough to lick at the flakes clinging to my fur before tearing into it anew. Luckily everyone else was too busy with their own dinner, or chatting to notice; dignity is hard enough to maintain when you're small enough to step on, and making a mess of your meal only makes it worse.

Despite the shouting, arguing, and the constant clatter of metal and teeth against glass and dishes everyone seemed happy. Thanos was alternating between arguing with Karakof and lapping at a glass something dark. Witchhazel was perched on the back of a chair picking t her dinner. And Dad was busy keeping Mom and Padfoot from fighting over what was left of the fish. It was like old times-not that I cared. Dinner is dinner; something where all of us were forced to get together and 'be a family' as Dad puts it.

_A madhouse of dark types headed by a psychic… I wonder if anyone else sees the irony in that? _With the best part of dinner finished, I took a moment to savor the last pieces of flaky meat, nearly choking on a bit of bone. _It wouldn't take much for any of them to beat either Espeon in a fight, and so what Dad has that weird trick he can do? One good hit will do it. Maybe he has that brute Cerberus keeping everyone in check? _

"Dad doesn't need to use force to gain cooperation." I turned and glared at Dracoris, growling just loud enough for him to hear. In return, the feline flashed a toothy grin, snatching the roll from my plate and taking a bite out of it. "Everyone lives here by choice, though being a family is not quite the right word for it. It's more like… a sociable combat team, or so Cerb likes to say." He mumbled through a mouthful of bread, waving the bitten piece at Dad. "He just likes calling us a family, that's all."

"It's more like a prison disguised as a home." I muttered, not taking my eyes off him. Dracoris flicked a paw dismissively, taking another bite out of the stolen roll.

"A place like this is what we make it out to be; where you see a prison, I see a home." With that he popped the last bite into his mouth, eyes flashing electric blue as a basket of similar rolls rose from the table. "Maybe soon you'll come to see things in a different light. Or maybe you'll never open your eyes to what's around you, who knows." He shrugged, tapping the chair leg with his tail and turning away.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I stared for a few moments, mentally daring him to turn and argue with me. The only response he gave was a flick of his tail, before starting a conversation with Mom. _Hmph, didn't want to keep talking to you anyway. _Muttering a curse under my breath, I turned back to finishing what he hadn't stolen of my meal, grabbing a mouthful of green beans and chewing slowly. _And what does he mean about never seeing what's around me? I can see it just fine._

Soon enough, the leftovers moved themselves toward the kitchen, followed shortly by the used dishes, silverware, and finally Dad. The strange collection of glass, metal and one gray furred feline moved silently across the dining room, drifting like a ghostly parade through the air before vanishing through the kitchen doorway. _Always the showoff…_

The sound of everything cleaning itself off and being prepared to be stored signaled the end of dinner; like a single living thing, everyone at the table slid off their chairs, and wandering toward the living room for whatever after meal activities they had in mind. I lingered, waiting for things to calm down before hopping to the floor myself, knowing full well that getting caught in the rush would turn out bad.

Weaving through a maze of wooden legs was preferable to moving in the open, both because there's no chance of being trampled at random and because it's fun. It was a game to try and run through the winding path without letting my tail touch the wood. I ran a few laps through the imaginary forest, waiting for everyone to leave before finishing one last circuit, pausing by one of the table legs to catch my breath.

_Maybe things can go back to normal now. A good apology and a few days to cheer him up and this should be behind us. I mean, fights happen all the time… it was a little thing, getting rough and biting too hard. Blackwind can't hold that against me, can he? _The room felt empty without the chaos of dinner, like an oversized den awaiting its pack to return. Only the clatter of dishes and silverware being washed, blending with the quiet hum of the refrigerator filled the void.

_Okay, no brother to try and be helpful, Dad is busy with the dishes… this should be easy enough. _Something at the back of my mind disagreed, but I shrugged the feeling off. It was just a matter of wandering the house and finding where he was resting, and smoothing things over. _It'll be simple enough given a little time alone; a few well placed apologies, a few days to nurse his wounds, and things will go right back to normal. _I glanced around the room one last time, making sure nobody was coming before leaving my hiding spot and walking toward the kitchen.

"And where do you think you're going?" A cold voice muttered, even though the room was empty. I froze mid step, instinctively flattening my body against the tile and looking around wildly. Nothing had changed, yet the voice had to come from somewhere… and when you live with Pokémon who can manipulate shadow, that somewhere can be anything.

"Looking for Blackwind." I muttered, eying the space between a large cabinet and the wall. As if on cue, a pair of ruby eyes materialized from the gloom, blinking once before vanishing again. Less than a heartbeat later the shadow began to expand, stretching beyond its bounds as its occupant stepped forward. A velvet paw formed from the pool of darkness, the trademark yellow ring blazing against the onyx fur. Next the eyes returned, two deep red pools filled with a mix of anger and sadness, though which was directed at me was unclear. "What do you want? _Not that it isn't obvious. _I added under my breath.

"To make sure he has time to recover, and heal properly." Mom replied, two sets of ivory teeth flashing with every icy word. "His wounds are more serious than you think, and he needs to be alone for a few days… if not more." She paused, glancing toward the open doorway before returning her gaze to me. I shivered inwardly, trying to keep a calm exterior in the face of a very angry predator, and an even more dangerous mother.

"He's faking it; I only scratched him a little." _At least I think it was only a little._

"Is that what you believe?" A scowl crossed her muzzle, making her already scary look all the more terrifying. "If I didn't know better, I would say you tried to kill him." Her tone changed, the wintery edge fading into a note of sadness. _I tried to- _I leapt to my paws, lashing the air with my tail in anger.

"I would never do something like that!" A pan crashed to the floor, shattering the Umbreon's concentration. The cabinet's shadow rolled off her form like water, returning to its normal position and leaving her 'dry' next to the doorway. "Are you accusing me of something?" A second pan fell, followed by the sound of a dish breaking in the sink.

"No, I'm simply explaining why you are not going to see him tonight." She replied in an even voice, hardly noticing my outburst. "Blackwind is in a lot of pain, and seeing the one who wounded him so badly would only make it worse."

"That's not fair!"

"Was what you did to him fair?" I glanced toward the doorway, considering for a moment making a dash for it. That thought was crushed when Dad set the remaining dishes in the sink, turning his attention toward us. _Things just keep getting better… _Apparently reading my intention, Mom moved into the doorway, leaning against the wood trim.

"But I didn't do anything wrong! Why am I being punished for an accident?" A strange look crossed her muzzle, something like a mixture of anger and pity; it was not a comforting sight coming from someone quite capable of hurting you. _Why am I even arguing? She won't listen… she favors him._

"What you did wasn't an accident. Whether you tried to force him to come with, or something else I don't know. But you are banned from seeing him until his wounds are healed."

"But-"

"But nothing." A high pitched voice said, cutting my argument short. Mom flinched at the sound, ears flapping against her head as she wheeled to face the speaker. _Great… can this get any worse? _Dad stood just inside the kitchen, a soapy frying pan hovering just to his left. "She said he is not to be disturbed, and you are to respect that."

"Dad, please! You know I love him and wouldn't do anything like that…" I pleaded, shrinking away from the makeshift weapon. "Can I at least say I'm sorry to him?"

"Charis… I'm sorry, but Azarus is right." Dad shook his head, turning his attention toward the dumbstruck Umbreon. "Blackwind needs to recuperate, and judging by what you did he will only come to more harm if you're allowed to see him tonight."

"I see how it is… you're just sour because of the choice I made!" I snapped, lashing the floor with my tail. "You just want to use this to drive us apart!" Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring the edges of the floor as they threatened to fall. Dad simply shook his head, turning his gaze to the floor for a bit before looking me in the eye. I flinched, fighting to return the look.

"No. It may bother me where you claim to find love, but if the emotion is true, then it shouldn't be barred by the views of one. However, he needs rest and time to recover, and will not get that if you are allowed to disturb him. We will let you see him tomorrow, no earlier." At those words I lost control; tears rolled down my cheeks, running along the matted fur and splashing to the tiled floor like raindrops.

"What would you know about us… how I feel about what happened?"

"In our desperation for attention, we sometimes do things without thinking." Mom broke out of her trance, taking one last look at the Espeon before turning toward me. "If what you say is true, then in time that wound will heal. But our decision is final. Now, go to your room."With that she stood, turning away without another word and disappearing into the kitchen.

"I hate you both!" Before Dad could muster a response I turned and fled, ignoring the muffled protest that followed.

o0o0o0o0o0


End file.
